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Issue #11
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
Human Error
"Not Affiliated in Any Way!"
ISSUE #11
BELIEVE IT OR ELSE
Good Thing/Bad Thing
Okay, let's get this straight. They didn't attack us because they don't like our freedom. Freedom's got nothing to do with it. Switzerland's free. Why didn't they attack Switzerland? Denmark's freer than we are, with legal prostitution, drugs, and euthanasia. Why didn't they attack Denmark?
One reason only: foreign policy. Anyone want to defend our foreign policy? I didn't think so, which gives us the same dilemma. What if the terrorists had demanded higher MPG standards for SUVs? What if George W. Bush replied by standing tall and saying "We will not give in to terrorism. SUV standards will remain the same." Good thing? Bad thing? Welcome
to the wonderful world of conflicted feelings. If (and that's a big if because they didn't leave a note) the terrorist attacks were an attack on U.S. foreign policy, then despite the fact I abhor their tactics, despite the fact I consider the hijackers the scum of the earth, despite my repulsion over Islamic fundamentalism, despite the pain I still feel over the loss of the WTCs, I'm on their side. Bin Laden and all his minion can get rectal cancer and die screaming in agony, but as far as the ideological debate over current U.S. foreign policy, I want them to win.
I want the U.S to stop being the
self-centered bully of the world, ruthlessly forcing the planet to bow before our consumer needs. The U.S. has turned the whole world into a game of Monopoly in which the game never starts over so the properties are never given back to the bank. No new player has got a chance of ever owning anything. 99% of the planet is just circling the board, paying rent, and picking up their $200 every time they pass GO. U.S foreign policy is an abomination. The central paradox of the war on terror is that the only way it will ever end is if the U.S alters it's foreign policy, but any alteration in foreign policy is seen as giving in to the terrorists, which we obviously can't do. Like the war on drugs and the war between Arabs and Jews, we've created another war that can't possible end until we're all dead. What's the way out of this hideous Catch-22? How can we change the way we do business without looking like we're giving into, and therefore encouraging, more terrorism? Right now, the U.S is responding to the attacks by reaffirming every aspect of our foreign policy that must have pissed the terrorists off in the first place. Let's take a quick peek at U.S. foreign policy in Uzbekistan. Here are some quotes from an article by Simon Churchyard which you can read at
http://www.redpepper.org.uk/intarch/x-feb-uzbekistan.html. "It is ironic that one of the USA's most valuable allies in 'Operation Enduring Freedom' was Islam Karimov, who presides over Uzbekistan -- one of Asia's most entrenched dictatorships. Karimov allowed US forces to use Uzbek bases against its southern neighbor, Afghanistan. Washington rewarded this support with an
historic joint US-Uzbek memorandum, signed on 30 November. Hailed by both sides as announcing a 'qualitatively new relationship,' it promises Uzbekistan significant military and economic backing. A likely legacy of the war will be the bolstering by the US of yet another corrupt and repressive regime that performs useful strategic services." "In the face of poverty and social decay, the autocratic government of former-Communist ruler Islam Karimov maintains power through a dense network of security agents and informers. Dissent is not tolerated, and most opponents have been jailed or driven into exile. This security complex is bankrolled by the country's main cash export, cotton. Harvested with the coerced labor of students and school children, this "white gold" is procured by the government at knock-down prices and sold internationally at a hefty profit." (The need for cotton would plummet if hemp were legalized, so our war on drugs is helping Uzbekistan too. One war washes the other. MD) Okay, simple question. Is our support of Karimov, who's clearly another Hussein, another Pinochet, another Suharto, going to get us more friends or more enemies? You don't have to answer. The U.S relationship with Uzbekistan is probably being used in recruitment posters for al-Qaeda as we speak.
So that's our definition of "winning," refusing to deal with our faults, actually glorifying them, so we can declare that the terrorists have lost because they haven't changed us at all. Good thing? Bad thing? All depends on your definition of the word "loser."
Online Videos of the Week
Hidden Agendas - The films and writing of John Pilger. Amazing 1 & 2 minute Real Player documentaries out of Iraq. Flowchart of the Week Map of the Week From the Wall Street Journal, here's a
map of all the oil pipelines proposed by Bush Sr. in business with the bin Laden family conglomerate through the Carlyle Group. Cartoon of the Week
Dear Dr. Hollywood, Seems to me about 99 percent of the "entertainment reporting" I
see could've been written by studio publicity departments. Why is there so little serious reporting on the entertainment industry?- Harold - Dear Harold,
I don't know about you, but I'll never forget the first time I gave a film a bad review and the studio immediately called my paper to cancel $50,000 worth of advertising. No, I wasn't fired, but my editor DID point it out to me. Then there was the time I gave a film a good review and the studio immediately called my paper and bought $100,000 worth of advertising, making the advertising executive a hot $5,000, exactly 100 times the $50 I got for my review. Should I mention the time I gave a film a bad review and the studio refused to supply my paper with screening passes for the next six months? I didn't think so.
Which is to say that advertising controls everything. Big magazines like Premiere and EW are pretty much just extensions of the studio publicity departments. Don't even THINK of pitching them a cutting edge story about corruption at a major studio. Sure, there are critics and journalists with integrity who actually write what they think, but they need strong editors to protect them from the advertising department. Smaller publications scrambling to survive invariably follow the cash. Newspapers can afford to occasionally alienate a studio because they're more dependant upon department and grocery store advertising than anything else. Ever read anything negative about Robinsons or Ralphs in the L.A. Times? Not likely.
Studio publicists have long memories. If a magazine or newspaper promises one of their clients a cover story in exchange for an interview and then gives the cover to someone else, that outlet will find themselves without a single interview the next time there's a blockbuster from the same studio they want to cover.
Send your questions to "Ask Dr. Hollywood" at
disinfotainment@earthlink.net
WHO'S GOING TO HELL THIS WEEK?
July 15, 2002
As ex-executive chief in charge of operations for the burning flames of hellfire, Helen's access to eternal contracts is legendary. Who are her sources? Wouldn't you like to know? Sorry, all communications are confidential and the property of Helen A. Handbasket, whose opinions do not necessarily reflect those of this or any other publication. 10. Why did they cryogenically freeze Ted Williams? How else could John Walker Lindh get away with pleading guilty and facing a maximum 20 year sentence? 9. Four Islamic militants were convicted in the kidnapping and murder of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl but NBC still won't cancel "Friends." Satan's pissed. David Schwimmer watch out. 8. Satan says "Engage in illegal stock trading." Satan says "Let your company go belly up but keep a fortune for yourself." "Take the fifth." Unh-unh, Satan didn't say.
7. Harvey L. Pitt, the chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission, said today that he would not resign despite numerous pokes in the buttocks from lawmakers with pitchforks who say he has been lax in enforcing commission rules and shares responsibility for the nation's corporate accounting scandals. Obviously vying for a position in Satan's administration.
6. Now they're saying that Michael Jackson's 9/11 charity single "What More Can I Give?" was never released because producer F. Marc Schaffel used to make gay porn films. Gimme a break. If that's true, then why won't they cancel "Friends?" Besides, Satan's heard it and he tells me it's crap.
5. Phil Donahue returns to TV on MSNBC this week, but what's he been doing for the past decade or two? Let's just say he'll be sharing a cell on the 3rd level of hell with F. Marc Schaffel. 4. Judge Emmet G. Sullivan is a bad boy. The Bush Justice Department was just trying to prevent any inquiry into the operations of Cheney's Energy Task Force and he wouldn't let them. Now thousands of documents are going to be released and somebody's going to have to read them, probably Satan's minions, who are all dyslexic. 3. "Oooh, I hear George Michael's new video shows him romping in bed with Tony Blair wearing nothing but a leopardskin thong," exclaimed Adolf Hitler from the 2nd level of hell. "I can't wait to see it." 2. Palm Beach, Florida, held a mock election this week to test it's new voting machines. Seymour Mock beat out both Bush and Gore. And the number one person going to hell this week? 1. Jamie Lee Curtis just so there won't be a sequel to Halloween Resurrection. Personal to Mona: How's that?Personal to Carl: Are you dead?ARITHMETIC FROM HELL
$133 million for Men in Black II divided by 439 points the Dow was down times 95% of Americans who want answers from Dick Cheney regarding Halliburton accounting plus
$13 billion in revenue generated by Halliburton last year times 15 dead Saudi schoolgirls equals $60 billion Pfizer Inc. is paying for Pharmacia Corp. plus 3 million teens contemplating suicide divided by 4,305 teenage drivers in America saved by seatbelts in the past 5 years.
GOSSIP FROM HELL? NOT EXACTLY
Early politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs
and bars to "go sip some ale" and report back on people's political
concerns. The two words "go sip" were eventually combined when referring to local opinions and thus, we have the term - "gossip."
- Thanks to Phil Proctor - BELLYBUTTON TATTOO FROM HELL
LABEL FROM HELL
"Not to be used for the other use."
- warning on a Japanese food processor -
HISTORY LESSONS FROM HELL
Dick Cheney was one of only two US Congress members who voted against a resolution calling for the release of Nelson Mandela from prison. "Throughout the world, on any given day, a man, woman or child is likely to be displaced, tortured, killed or 'disappeared,' at the hands of governments or armed political groups. More often than not, the United States shares the blame," said Amnesty International in 1996. If you ever wondered where the terrorists learn their moves - just glance through Uncle Sam's war history. In fact the modus operandi that terrorist employ or we fear they might employ today are just reflections of U.S. "war crimes" in other nations. Read
Terrorism begets terrorism: what the U.S. teaches terrorists – Part 1. QUOTES FROM HELL
"Taking account of the unconsciousness of the tactic employ (no legal assistance, no phone, no information, 24 h light and surveillance.) I expect anything from the US government. Lee Harvey Oswald end is a distinct possibility. Alexandria jail is constantly having new Deputy, it will be easy to claim that a distraught Sept 11 family member gain employment and shoot me. Or they might claim that I committed suicide after all they already have done the ground work by claim that I was mentally unstable, paranoid." - Zacarias Moussaoui, the so-called 20th hijacker, in his latest Federal Court Motion - "The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."- H.L. Mencken - "Maybe there's just one revolution, the good guys versus the bad guys. The question is - Who are the good guys?"- Dolworth (Burt Lancaster) in The Professionals - "Just one mistake by a biotech company and we'll be eating other people's
prescription drugs in our corn flakes."- Larry Bohlen, Director of Health and Environment Programs at
Friends of the Earth - "Did it ever occur to you that wherever you are, an instantaneous no-fly zone is created? I didn't think so, but let me clue you in on something. Firefighters risk their lives fighting wildfires. One of the strategic methods employed to guard THEIR safety is flyovers. These flyovers provide valuable information to these people: such as, whether a wildfire is doubling back on them and cutting off their only means of escape!! Can we say, "DUH?!" So your solution is to keep them from fighting the wildfire while you're here on official business? Thanks, but no thanks. Our firefighters nearly lost what little containment they had the day you visited."- Letter to Bush from a firefighter in Arizona - "We need to throw America's best minds and most dollars into research into wind, solar, fuel cell, geothermal and other alternatives to gas and oil as sources of our energy. We need to consult with our French allies on how they have been able to harness nuclear power so safely."We need to curb gas-guzzling, polluting vehicles. We need to consult with our Japanese allies who are leading the world in developing alternative fuels for vehicles. "We need to step up Superfund cleanups and standards for water safety. We need to assure that future power plants do not pollute our atmosphere and that existing ones are cleaner. Let us point to this decade as among the most progressive and life-saving in man's history." - What Bush Could Have Said: from an editorial at
delawareonline - "Until we accept the fact that life itself is founded in mystery, we shall learn nothing."
- Henry Miller -
"Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."
- Soren Kierkegaard -
"Life is a mystery, not a problem, and the difference is vast. The problem has to be solved, can be solved, must be solved, but the mystery is insoluble; it has to be lived, experienced. Encountering a mystery, you have to dissolve in it."
- Osho -
"Tyranny, like Hell, is not easily conquered."- Thomas Paine - JOKE FROM HELL
One cold, but sunny winter morning, George W. Bush is out jogging in the park. He is running past a big pile of snow, when he notices something strange. In the snow, "George W. Bush is an idiot" is written in urine. Furious, he hurries back to the Oval Office, and contacts his Chief of Security, asking him to solve the mystery.
A few days later, George's Chief of Security returns. He tells George that their scientists have concluded their testing on the matter, and that there is good and bad news.
"Well, give me the good news first," George says.
"The good news is that it was Osama bin Laden's urine."
"That's the GOOD news?" the President shouts. "What's the bad news then?"
"It was Dick Cheney's handwriting," the chief says. LEGISLATION FROM HELL
An
anti-fraud bill passed by the Senate on Wednesday is an attempt to protect - rather than punish - the corporate criminals responsible for the recent rash of Wall Street scandals.
In a misguided attempt to stop teenage drug use, S. 2633 and HR 3782 are two bills that make private property owners, concert promoters, or anyone holding an "entertainment event" criminally liable for any drugs used or sold during the event. Totally asinine. Help stop these bills by going
here. SITES FROM HELL
Apology: Last week there were two bad links. The interview with Gore Vidal is
here and cat boxing is
here. Those responsible have had their buttocks flayed. Mandatory reading: Inanimate Objects, my ultimate article about the war on drugs, has just been published by
The Laissez Faire Electronic Times. Then there's a little piece by James Ridgeway called
Mondo Washington and/or
Nitwit Scion Turns Avenger and/or
George Bush, Failed Corporate Crook, depending upon what headline you believe.
As Americans move from dial-up Internet access to logging on via cable
broadband networks, they're also moving from the open, regulated telephone
network to proprietary cable networks that are controlled by a few large
companies. Which means
cable providers are in a position to control free speech on the Internet. Not good.
You too can rid yourself of
media toxins. Was Diane Keaton really in Hair? Go to the
IBDB, which does for Broadway what the
IMDb does for film. It would seem there's evidence that almost
5,000 Taliban prisoners were killed by Northern Alliance commanders, perhaps with the help of U.S. soldiers. Serves them right? Is a rogue element within our own government using illegal surveillance, harassment with sound projection and microwave hearing, and attacks with acoustic and microwave nonlethal weapons, just to promote their own agenda? That's what
this guy says.
The
anti-Ann Coulter site is the "sweet balm of reason slathered on in heavy layers over her strident inanity and deplorable narrow-mindedness."
The Bush Administration aims to recruit millions of United States citizens
as domestic informants in a program likely to alarm civil liberties groups. The
Terrorism Information and Prevention System, or TIPS, means the US will have a higher percentage of citizen informants than the former East Germany through the infamous Stasi secret police. The program would use a minimum of 4 per cent of Americans to report "suspicious activity."
You gotta ask how Bush can go after corporate criminals without going after
himself. Could you use one million dollars? It's easy all you have to do is
prove you have paranormal powers. Check out
Tattletales for an Open Society for statements from dozens of history professors against the war on terrorism. Better to be fat than eat and drink diet foods with
aspartame. How the Bush family benefited from
the Holocaust. Ahah, the Democratic plot against Bush is starting to materialize. Obviously they're simply waiting for him to self-destruct. It's working. Bush's
description of corporate criminals who belong in jail seems to describe himself and his whole administration. How can conservative Christians worship a man who was
a liberal? Good question. At
brainchill, you scroll through sites and rate them. Fun and useful. What happened to Enron and WorldCom will never happen to the Colombian cocaine cartels. Why? Because they've got an IT
infrastructure that actually works.
I'm coming to getcha if you don't
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Cool Link
The Accidental President
The Accidental President
Reader Contribution
'Cringe Alert'
Just got my The Daily Show Newsletter and Anthrax Coulter her bad self will be a guest next week.
I plan to be heavily inebriated, but look forward to Jon's interview none the less, as the TDS rocks.
Dan IB
Thanks, Dan! Will keep an eye out for it.
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Jeez. Toyota sells cars using Jethro Tull, Tide is using Canned Heat, local Ford dealers are using Queen, and now,
the Pepsi/'Born To Be Wild' spot with the Peter Fonda 'Easy Rider' intercuts. Bummer.
Seems that if it's a woman doing the voice-over on a commercial, the odds are it's Peri Gilpin ('Roz' on 'Frasier'). She's the voice on the
Toyota commercial with the Tull background music.
One of last night's guests left a bottle of rauch-bier here, so, that's the beverage this evening. Not one of my favs, but, old time sake & all that crap. Just remembering
how nasty that first sip is gonna be. Not that I'm too picky, but I tend to enjoy smoked beer from Bamberg, Germany, only. And, then, about once a decade.
Updated the Links page....any suggestions?
Tonight, Tuesday, CBS has their traditional 'Trifecta' of reruns - 'JAG', 'The Guardian', and 'Judging Amy'.
Scheduled on a fresh Dave are Catherine Keener and Solomon Burke.
Scheduled on a fresh Craiggers are Christian Bale, Scarlett Johannson, and the Breeders.
NBC opens with a rerun 'Spy TV', then follows with a fresh 'Spy TV'. Next are reruns of 'Frasier' and 'Scrubs'. 'Dateline' rounds out the evening.
Scheduled on a fresh Jay are David Arquette, Natasha Henstridge, and Amy Grant & Vince Gill.
Scheduled on a fresh Conan are Patrick Swayze and the Vines.
Scheduled on a fresh Carson Daly are Geraldo Rivera and Cee-Lo.
ABC has 2 reruns of 'Jim', then fresh episodes of 'Mole II: The Next Betrayal' and 'Houston Medical'.
The WB has reruns of 'Gilmore Girls' and 'Smallville'.
Faux opens with a rerun 'That 70's Show', then a fresh 90-minute version of 'American Idol: The Search for a Superstar'.
UPN has a rerun 'Buffy' and then an episode of 'Under One Roof'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
In November, In LA
Rock Fantasy Camp
The second edition of the Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp will be held in Los Angeles in November.
The camp allows fans to jam and learn from actual rock stars. Among the "professors" are Lou Gramm of Foreigner, George Thorogood, Tommy Shaw
of Styx, Vince Neil of Motley Crue, Bret Michaels and C.C. DeVille of Poison, Mark Farner of Grand Funk Railroad, and Sheila E.
Campers will not only get to jam with the artists, they'll get a demo and a video to take home. No experience or instruments are required.
However, rock and roll fantasies don't come cheap. The five-day camp runs just under $5,000 -- hotel not included.
Rock Fantasy Camp
Time For A New Hat?
AFDB
Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie
Reading Arses
The Blind Psychic
Blind German psychic Ulf Buck (L) feels the buttocks of a client during a session in his study room in the northern German village of Meldorf near Hamburg July 15, 2002. Clairvoyant Buck claims that people's backsides display lines like those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about their character and destiny.
Photo by Christian Charisius
Moving To The WB
'The Wizard of Oz'
The WB will showcase the classic film "The Wizard of Oz" this upcoming holiday season -- the first time Dorothy and Toto have been seen on broadcast TV since May 1998.
"Wizard of Oz" has aired exclusively on the Turner cable networks since then. Now that the WB is a part of the Turner fold, executives hope to turn the 63-year-old picture into a
family-oriented holiday perennial, much like NBC does in December with "It's a Wonderful Life" and ABC does in the spring with "The Ten Commandments."
Audiences traveled down the yellow brick road almost every year after CBS first aired "The Wizard of Oz" in 1956. Those broadcasts on CBS (and, from 1967-1975, on NBC) helped turn
"The Wizard of Oz" into the widely held classic it is today.
After CBS' 1998 airing, "Oz's" 39th on network TV, Turner -- which owned the film through its acquisition of MGM's classic library -- opted to place the movie on its cable outlets.
'The Wizard of Oz'
Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
The Winner
With a putrid passage about a relationship gone bad, a word-puzzle creator who also crafts witty sayings for lapel buttons won the 21st annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for horrible writing.
Rephah Berg of Oakland triumphed Monday over thousands of entrants from around the world with the following sentence:
"On reflection, Angela perceived that her relationship with Tom had always been rocky, not quite a roller-coaster ride but more like when the toilet paper roll gets a little squashed so it hangs
crooked and every time you pull some off you can hear the rest going bumpity-bumpity in its holder until you go nuts and push it back into shape, a degree of annoyance that Angela had now almost attained."
The contest, which seeks the worst beginning to an imaginary novel, is named for Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, a British writer whose 1830 book "Paul Clifford" begins with the oft-mocked cliche, "It was a dark and stormy night ..."
Berg, who declined to give her age, said she has been a copy editor for 25 years and began her career with a company that sells notes on lectures at the University of California, Berkeley.
She also occasionally sells slogans to makers of buttons and refrigerator magnets. She said her creations include: "Another 12-step program and I still can't dance"; "I'll try being nicer if you'll try being
smarter"; and "Martha Stewart doesn't (expletive) live here, OK?"
Berg's winning effort, which will bring her $250, beat out runner-up Charles Howland of St. Paul, Minn., who also offered a terrible take on relationships:
"The professor looked down at his new young lover, who rested fitfully, lashed as she was with duct tape to the side of his stolen hovercraft, her head lolling gently in the breeze, and as they soared over the
buildings of downtown St. Paul to his secret lair he mused that she was much like a sweet ripe juicy peach, except for her not being a fuzzy three-inch sphere produced by a tree with pink blossoms and that
she had internal organs and could talk."
Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
Complete list of winners
Updated Site
'Get Your War On'
get your war on
Relishes Celeb Cameos
Barry Sonnenfeld
Director Barry Sonnenfeld scored a coup in convincing Michael Jackson to appear as an alien in his new film, "Men in Black II," but the director said the work did not end there.
His cameo lasts only a few seconds, but Jackson was full of questions about his role, Sonnenfeld told reporters. Jackson wanted to know everything about the scene's special effects
background. Sonnenfeld thought he was appeasing him by telling him that there would be icebergs, but Jackson wanted more details.
"He said, 'Can I see the icebergs?' 'No we don't have the photos yet.' 'Is there anything else behind me?' 'Penguins.' I'm making this up! I don't know if there are going to
be penguins," Sonnenfeld said. "'Can I see the penguins?' 'No I don't have the pictures of the penguins yet.' 'Are they king penguins?' 'Yes.' And then I said, 'You know, I gotta go.'"
Sonnenfeld said the time spent with the inquisitive pop star was well worth it because he gets one of the film's biggest laughs.
The director had an easier time with the film's other big-name "alien" celebrity, Martha Stewart. Sonnenfeld said he knew she'd easy to work with because she was such a sport
about having her head superimposed on a dog's body in his last film, "Big Trouble."
Barry Sonnenfeld
Monday, 15 July
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., left, leans in to listen to Carl Weisbrod, president of the Downtown-Lower Manhattan Association, Monday, July 15, 2002, before making a speech. Clinton spoke of revitalizing the dowtown area
in cooperation with Federal, State and local aid. Six alternative plans for the World Trade Center site will be disclosed Tuesday, all include memorials, but only four preserve the ``footprints'' of the twin towers for memorials.
Photo by Stephen Chernin)
Keep More Music Fans at Home
Pricey Concert Tickets
A survey of the North American concert industry by trade publication Pollstar showed the top 50 acts sold a combined 10.6 million tickets in the first half of the year, down about
three percent from the year-ago period (10.9 million tickets) and off 18 percent from 2000 (12.9 million tickets).
The average ticket price for those top 50 tours rose 11.3 percent to $50.81 from last year, Pollstar said. By contrast U.S. consumer inflation rose 3.6 percent in the year to May.
McCartney was the top earner with ticket sales of $52.8 million, Pollstar said. Undertaking his first North American tour in a decade, McCartney, now 60, received glowing reviews
for his hits-heavy set. He played 27 shows in 20 cities, and is reportedly planning to return later this year. His average ticket price was $129.59.
The double bill of Billy Joel and Elton John was the No. 2 act with a $44.4 million haul from 23 shows in just eight cities. The average ticket price was $108.70. The
piano men could have been No. 1 if Joel's "acute laryngitis" and other maladies had not postponed 10 dates until the fall; Joel checked into a substance abuse center last month.
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young were third with $34.9 million from 40 shows in 36 cities. The combustible folk quartet charged an average $80.08 per ticket.
Other veterans in the top 10 included the Eagles at No. 6 with $20.6 million, Jimmy Buffett at No. 9 with $17.0 million and Barry Manilow at No. 10 with $14.7 million.
Flying the flag for the youngsters were 'N Sync at No. 4 with $33.2 million, followed by the Dave Matthews Band with $24.0 million. A double bill of punk combos
Green Day and Blink-182 came in at No. 7 with $19.7 million while Britney Spears was No. 8 with $18.9 million.
Green Day and Blink-182 were the busiest acts in the top 10 and offered the best value: 45 shows in 44 cities at an average cost of $31.56.
Pricey Concert Tickets
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
2 King Kamehameha Pictures
The Rock
Pro wrestler-turned-actor The Rock could get some competition when he plays a real-life king.
A California movie company said it is also planning to produce a film about Hawaii's Kamehameha the Great that would feature a Hawaiian actor in the title role.
"We are looking at two actors of Hawaiian descent who will make a great Kamehameha," said Gary German, a principal with North Shore Pictures Entertainment Inc. of Glendale,
Calif. "It would be a great taboo for the part of Kamehameha to go to a nationality that was a fierce enemy of the Hawaiians during that time."
Last month, The Rock, whose real name is Dwayne Johnson, said he would play the king for Columbia Pictures in a still-untitled version based on a screenplay by former Maui resident Greg Poirier.
Kamehameha the Great ruled from 1795 to until his death in 1819.
Dwayne Johnson
Interesting Link
SpaceWander
Thanks, Dr. Bob
SpaceWander Roundtrip First Class
Wins Boat Race
Bob Seger
A boat skippered by rock star Bob Seger won its division in the 78th annual Port Huron-to-Mackinac Island Sailboat Race on Monday.
Seger's boat, Lightning of St. Clair Shores, finished at 6:47 a.m. That gave it an adjusted time of 39 hours, 44 minutes, 27 seconds, first by 1:44:44 among the 15 boats in PHRF A/GL 50 class.
In all, 244 sailboats with an estimated 3,000 crew members left Port Huron on Saturday.
Bob Seger
90th Anniversary Celebration
Paramount Pictures
Actors Ted Danson, left, and Henry Winkler arrive together at Paramount Pictures' 90th Anniversary celebration at Paramount Studios in Los Angeles, Sunday, July 14, 2002.
Photo by Chris Pizzello
Republicans In A Dither, Issuing Deadlines
HIV-Positive Muppet
Republican lawmakers are worried about plans to introduce an HIV-positive Muppet to the "Sesame Street" gang, Hollywood trade paper Daily Variety reported in its Monday edition.
A day after show executives announced they would develop the as-yet-unnamed character for audiences in AIDS-ravaged South Africa, five members of the House committee on energy and commerce
said the Muppet would be unwelcome on American TV.
In a letter sent Friday to the president of the government-funded Public Broadcasting System, which airs "Sesame Street," the lawmakers noted the average age of U.S. viewers of "Sesame
Street" in the U.S. is 2- to 4-years old.
The letter to PBS president Pat Mitchell was sent by committee chairman W.J. "Billy" Tauzin, a Louisiana Republican; as well as by Joe Barton of Texas; Richard Burr of North Carolina,
Charles "Chip" Pickering of Mississippi, Cliff Stearns of Florida and Fred Upton of Michigan, the paper said.
Daily Variety said Tauzin's letter gave Mitchell until Friday to answer such questions as the amount of money PBS dedicates to "Sesame Street," how much is being earmarked for the new Muppet,
whether she will be introduced to the United States and whether corporate underwriters might participate in the decision-making process.
HIV-Positive Muppet
BartCop TV!
Celebrated in Key West
Hemingway Days
Later this week, Ernest Hemingway will be spotted everywhere — or at least a lot of guys who look like the author.
The 50th anniversary of the publication of "The Old Man and the Sea" will be celebrated during the Hemingway Days festival, an annual event that begins Wednesday and runs through July 21, the 103rd anniversary of the author's birth.
The celebration of Hemingway's life and work includes a look-alike contest expected to attract more than 100 stocky, white-bearded contenders; a party on the grounds of the author's Key West home; the unveiling of
Hemingway memorabilia display; a marlin tournament and a short story competition.
Hemingway Days
Wants To Tell Michael Jackson Stories
Uri Geller
Psychic Uri Geller, is now trying to cash in on his friendship with protesting popster Michael Jackson.
The self-described "telepathist, clairvoyant, and metal bender" contacted us, saying he wanted to tell anecdotes about his pal in a piece that he would write for us. It'd be a positive
piece — but his loyalty to Jackson would come at a price.
"This is how it's gonna work," Geller told us when we called his London office. "I usually charge a pound sterling (about $1.55) per word for my columns. I know that, syndication-wise,
all my stories are grabbed immediately. So for selling it worldwide, the break will have to be 60/40 from the gross — 60 for me, 40 for you guys."
Geller claimed that he donates "most of the money" from his writing to charity.
Asked if Michael had given his approval for Geller to write on his behalf, the mentalist said brusquely, "I can write whatever I want to. I don't have to get an okay from him.
I'm not his controller and he's not mine."
Uri Geller
Early Spy Network
George Washington
This undated handout is a one-page letter Gen. George Washington wrote in February 1777 offering Nathaniel Sackett, a New York political activist and merchant for the Continental Army, $50 a month to set up a network in the region to obtain "the earliest and best intelligence of the designs
of the enemy." It goes on display with hundreds of other items when the International Spy Museum opens Friday, July 19, 2002.
'Women of WorldCom and Andersen'
Playboy
Playing the bare market, Playboy magazine on Monday offered female employees of threatened corporate giants WorldCom and Andersen the same chance to pose nude as
it did those of fallen energy trader Enron.
"As soon as our (August) 'Women of Enron' issue hit the newsstands, we started getting calls from female employees at both WorldCom and Arthur Andersen," said Gary
Cole, Playboy magazine's photography director.
Playboy
June 2002 Ratings
Webcast Channels
From Fred
Arbitron Webcast Channel Ratings Report June 2002 - Top 20
1 Virgin Radio - www.virginradio.co.uk Hot Adult
2 Jazz FM UK - www.jazzfm.com (Clear Channel Jazz)
3 WQXR/fm - www.wqxr.com (New York Times - Classical)
4 KING/fm - www.king.org (Classic Classical Radio, Inc.)
5 Radioio - www.radioio.com (Radioio.com) Album Adult
6 MEDIAmazing - www.mediaamazing.com Variety
7 Radio Margaritaville - www.radiomargaritaville.com Contemporary
8 KPLU - www.kplu.org (Pacific Lutheran Jazz University)
9 KNAC.com - www.knac.com (Album Oriented Rock)
10 WHTZ/fm - www.z100.com (Clear Channel Contemporary Hit Radio)
11 Ministry of Sound - www.ministryofsound.com Electronica
12 WFXZ/fm - www.937thebone.com Classic Rock
13 Killer Oldies - www.killeroldies.com Oldies
14 WGMS/fm - www.wgms.com (Bonneville Classical)
15 Virgin Radio - Classic Rock www.virginradio.co.uk Classic Rock
16 KFI - www.kfi640.com
17 KYSR/fm - www.star987.com
18 Tom Joyner Morning Show - www.tomjoyner.com
19 KKSF/fm - www.kksf.com (Clear Channel Jazz)
20 WFUV/fm - www.wfuv.org (Fordham University)
Courtesy LA Radio.com
Clinton and Hollywood Remember
Lew Wasserman Memorial
Lew Wasserman was remembered Monday at the Universal Amphitheater, where Universal employees joined industry toppers from all the studios, as well as show business and political
figures in a final tribute to the former studio head.
Politicians on hand were led by former President Clinton, VP Al Gore, Gov. Gray Davis and L.A. Mayor Jim Hahn. Clinton was the final speaker; of course, he would have been impossible to follow. He
displayed the same charm, strength and knowledge that personified his political career.
"Just think what Lew would have done if turned loose into the Middle East," Clinton noted. "Lew Wasserman's genius enabled him to take away shadows and turn dreams into realities."
The two met in the 1980s, Clinton said, adding "he helped me become president, he helped me stay president and he helped me become a better president. And he never asked me for anything. In 1995,
I gave him the Medal of Freedom, long overdue."
Clinton received a hand before his speech, something none of the other speakers received. They all spoke on the giant Amphitheater stage, decorated simply with two urns of gladiola and a row
of ferns, backed by a navy blue curtain extended the length of the stage. Other speakers in the 90-minute tribute were Barry Diller, Rabbi Leonard Beerman, Sid Sheinberg, AFL-CIO chief John J. Sweeney,
Suzanne Pleshette, Jack Valenti, Jeffrey Katzenberg and Steven Spielberg. Each walked up from a row in the auditorium, unannounced, to make their remarks.
For the rest, and a lot of wonderful details, Lew Wasserman Memorial, by Army Archerd
'The Osbournes'
Fairly freshly updated - 'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2 !
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
