Bartcop Entertainment - Tuesday, 11 December, 2001

(BartCop Entertainment)


11 December, 2001

big hammer - bigger hammer


Who's Going To Hell This Week

Helen A. Handbasket

Who's Going to Hell This Week?


Helen A. Handbasket

Helen A. Handbasket

As ex-executive chief in charge of operations for the burning flames of hellfire, Helen's access to eternal contracts is legendary. She is the world's foremost double-agent war-correspondent from hell - to Hollywood - and back again. Her opinions do not necessarily reflect those of this or any other publication.



December 10, 2001

A terrorist walks into a bar with a penguin on his head. The bartender says "Where did you get that?" and the penguin says "Hell, they're all over the place."
- Helen -

10. People are stealing the "wise men" from public nativity scenes because they look like bin Laden, and the little baby Jesuses are getting pissed. Be on the lookout.

9. The President's brain is missing. "Idiot Brain and Duck Sausage Pizza" shows up the same week on the menu at Spagos. Wolfgang Puck is sought for questioning.
8. "I can't believe that bastard's running for re-election while I'm roasting over an open spit," remarked Chandra Levy about Gary Condit's recent filing. Speaking from the fourth level of hell, Chandra, also expressed regret that the events of 9/11 removed her from the headlines.
7. Now that Islam has been hijacked by fundamentalists, democracy, existentialism, and heterosexuality have also been hijacked by fundamentalists.
6. Red rover, red rover, let Mullah Omar come over, but not without deodorant.
5. Peter Jackson only got to make "Lord of the Rings" after Satan's deal for "Lord of the Pitchforks" fell through.
4. "It wasn't me," declared Al Qaeda spokesmodel Osama bin Laden. "I told them, look, there's supposed to be a U after a Q, but would they listen?"
3. Why did they open the "Friendship Bridge" from Uzbekistan into Afghanistan? How else could they get J.Lo and Kid Rock to entertain the troops in Germany?
2.  Representative Mary Bono has proposed legislation that will allow Pee-Wee Herman to masturbate in the Coachella Valley.
And the number one people going to hell this week?
1. Osama bin There and Osama done That.
Personal to Ronald Reagan: Knock knock.
Personal to Halston: Why did the terrorist wear red suspenders?


Ocean's 11 minus California's 3 strikes law plus the Taliban's 5 year rule times Bill Gates' net worth equals 4 tickets to the opening night of South Africa's first apartheid museum times the 5th artificial heart recipience plus a $318 billion military bill.




The war will continue until 2004 when our boys will be brought home in October, right before the election.


Why isn't there a quiz from hell this week?
a) I'm too lazy
b) This is a quiz from hell, you moron


What are the words to this song?
what color shud i paint my barn
natural spit
what is a boat?
where can I download?
goth kennels
Where can I find France?
midget plaster
where can I download the library
How tall is my brother?


"How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children" by Lewis B. Frumkes


"We would rather do business with 1000 terrorists than with a single Jew." - sign seen in front of Goldstein's Funeral Home -


Carved into a mountainside with a tractor
the largest art on earth (4 million square meters)
on the Mundi Plains in Australia near Broken Hill


"Man is a strange animal, he doesn't like to read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." - Adlai Stevenson -
"Since neither side can possibly win, it's no longer a battle between Israel and Palestine or the Arabs and the Jews, it's a battle between those who want to stop fighting and those who want to keep fighting."
- Peter Pundit -
"Courage mounteth with occasion." - William Shakespeare -
"If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill -
"Accustomed to trample on the rights of others, you have lost the genius of your own independence and become fit subjects for the first cunning tyrant who rises among you." - Abraham Lincoln -

"I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am." - Samuel Johnson -
"I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way." - Frodo -

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." - Pablo Picasso -


OSLO - Kofi Annan, the UN secretary-general, used the occasion of the 2001 Nobel Peace Prize lecture on Monday to make an impassioned case for the United Nations' continued impotance as a promoter of peace and a champion of individual rights in an unstable and unequal world.


"Bush Remembers Pearl Harbor"
"Mentally Retarded Denied Care"
- CNN Headlines -
"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe. I believe what I believe is right." - Guess who? -




Johnny Walker
Johnny Walker
What a talker
He's a guy with tales to tell
If you spy him
Do not try him
Lock him in a tiny cell
     Ooh, aah, Jalalabad
     Ramalama ding dong Ramadan
     Mullah Ullah Tora Bora Taliban
     Ramalama ding dong Ramadan
Johnny Walker
He's a rocker
He is rotten to the core
If you see him
Do not free him
We know who he's working for
     Ooh, aah, Jalalabad
     Ramalama ding dong Ramadan
     Mullah Ullah Tora Bora Taliban
     Ramalama ding dong Ramadan
     Mullah Ullah Tora Bora Taliban
     Ramalama ding dong Ramadan
     Mullah Ullah Tora Bora Taliban
     Ramalama ding dong Ramadan


Larry Gelbart on The New Now
Once he's captured, what are the chances he'll use the random excuse generator?
U.S. Unprepared for Unlikely Threats.
Go to the Cyber Paperboy for every world newspaper on-line.
Wow, go to Segway and use the interactive it.
The final word on GW's military record.
Heavens to Betsy, I hope you didn't miss the National Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention Month Proclamation from the White House.
Finally, the whole truth about the Tourist Guy.
For the top 10 queries, check out Google Press Center Zeitgeist.
Okay, this makes sense. In order to protect the civil rights of the terrorists, the Justice department won't let the FBI Have Access to Gun Records.
Amazing argument from hell between Judd Apatow (creator of Fox's "Undeclared") and Mark Brazill (creator of "That 70's Show").
Positive proof that the Crackpot Page is legitimate?  I'm not on it.
Founded in 1999 by James Carville, Stanley Greenberg, and Bob Shrum, The Democracy Corps provides free public opinion research and strategic advice to those dedicated to a more responsive Congress and Presidency. Satan says stay away.
The argument FOR National IDs
Webpages exposing child `protective` system practices.
Thank God Playboy will finally be manufacturing anatomically correct playmate dolls.
Jeff Rense is insane, but that's not the only reason you should check him out.
Trust me, you're going to need to know how to order from McDonald's in Chinese.
Santa Claus vs. Jesus Christ. It's so hard to choose.
TV Bloopers and Mistakes from hell.
As high tech and arty as it gets, check out vectorlounge.
War on Taliban over, war on Northern Alliance to begin.
Dick Cheney's favorite web links.
How do I explain this?  Breaking new ground in psychedelia without drugs, mind boggling music and visuals from a madman with a firm grasp of technology and no grasp of reality
Who needs magic mushrooms when you can medijate?
The new drink from hell.
Good news for Satan, there is no plan for replacing the president, the House of Representatives and the top echelons of the judiciary if virtually the entire federal leadership were to be destroyed.
George Harrison and the people at Handmade Films left filmmakers alone to do what they needed to do, which is the truest path to enlightenment.






Find out at There is no way to unsubscribe to Darenet other than repeating HIS name 1,000 times and praying for the worst. Sure, you can send a blank email to "" but HE'LL know and you'll pay someday. Your only choice is to sneak behind his back and go to, log on, and remove yourself. You're three clicks away from going to a special hell reserved for all those who Dare unsubscribe.

Many thanks to Michael Dare!


A Christmas Poem

by Lo Phat Ham



Well, it's Christmas time, no matter which way you spell it. And I've got a story, so I'm gonna tell it. It probably isn't a story you've heard. 'cuz Santa told all of us, "Don't say a word!"
But I'm getting' old and I'm almost retired. Still, if Santa hears 'bout this I'll surely be fired. But, what the hell, he threatens that all the time So, here is my story spelled out in this rhyme.
I work in the barn sweeping up reindeer poo. (It's a smelly ass job when you're just three foot two) The reindeer were outside, so my job was easy... Except for the smell (which was making me queasy).
Santa barged in, he was drunk and he reeked. He said, "Two days 'til Christmas and my reindeer are tweaked!" His eyes burned like fire and I thought to myself Boy! Santa's sure pissed! - as he told this old elf...
"Dasher is missing, and Dancer is too. Prancer is pukin' and down with the flu. Vixen, the pervert, is off somewhere ballin' And Comet lost one of his antlers while brawlin'"
"Cupid's in rehab... still tryin' to dry out. Donner was smokin' and burned off his snout. Blitzen's exploring his 'feminine side'!" Then Santa just fell to his knees and he cried.
"But what about Rudolph?" I meekly inquired. "He's trippin' on acid", moaned Santa. "He's wired." "Besides, his wife hit him... no doubt they were bickerin' now his nose won't light up right... it's just kinda flickerin'."
Santa wailed, "Why am I cursed with this crap?!" Then he puked up a gallon of 'Nog in his lap. He coughed and he belched and he finally said, "It's all in your hands now... I'm goin' to bed."
His beard was all slimy and clotted with gore as he rose to his feet and he reeled out the door. I looked for a bucket to clean up the vomit, when in through the door walked a one-antlered Comet.
His head was atilt from the antler he lacked He was missing a tooth and one hoof was cracked. I said, "You're obviously under the weather, but we've got to get all the reindeer together."
"Santa has put me in charge of the show. So we'd better get crackin'... just two days to go!" Comet was pissed, but he mumbled, "Let's do it." So we worked out a plan and then got right down to it.
We found Donner at home... his nose burned to a crisp. "Two dayth? I'll be ready." He said with a lisp. Cupid walked up and he didn't look pretty. He said, "Well, I'm sober, but... Boy! I feel shitty!"
The four of us trudged through the cold, snowy night to Prancer's place, just two doors down... on the right. He opened the door and the smell wafted out And Comet and Donner backed up with a shout.
"Damn! Prancer, it smells like you puked up a turd!" Prancer just muttered and flipped them the bird. (which is really quite hard, since he doesn't have fingers) He explained, "I just barfed and the smell really lingers."
We bundled up Prancer and continued our quest Slowly but surely, we'd round up the rest. Then what to our wondering eyes did appear But Dasher and Dancer - the two reindeer queers.
We fought to control it... but try as we may we all started laughing (they're really quite gay) Dancer and Dasher cried, "Heavens above! We can't wait to tell you - We're so much in love!"
The seven of us then made our way down the road finally coming to Vixen's abode. We heard the faint sounds of kissin' and neckin' Vixen and someone were inside a-feckin'
At the sound of our knock the noise suddenly stopped. The door was yanked open and out Vixen popped. The Blitzen came out, with a stare really menacin'... asking, "Who's interrupting me getting some venison?"
Dancer and Dasher prodigiously dangled while imagining Vixen and Blitzen entangled I then put an end to their lewd reverie by shouting, "There's Rudolph! Come on! Follow me!"
As I ran towards the deer with the flickerin' schnoz I saw he was talking with ole Santa Claus Santa was pissed and he held up his hand as I slid to a stop with my motley band.
"I'm tired of your shit!" Santa roared. "You're all fired!" "Rudolph agrees and we both just retired. Go back to your homes and I'll mail you your checks. The presents will all be delivered Fed-Ex."
We stood there in shock not believing our ears Lips all a-wobblin' and fighting the tears. Santa turned on his heel and walked back to his shack, where the missus rubbed Tannen Balm on his sore back.
The next day he sold the whole workshop and bailed. The reindeer disbanded, the elves were all jailed. Donald Trump bought the business and now he's my neighbor and your toys are all now made with Asian slave labor.
I'm just sleighin'...
~~ Lo Phat Ham


Reader Music Review

The Best of 2001

The Best of 2001 (New releases - in order of release)


It's been such a joy for me to follow the Donnas "grow up" from their Ramones homage debut to this January 2001 release. Listening to The Donnas reminds you that rock 'n roll is supposed to be exciting, rebellious, even a little dangerous at the core (Oh the music has to completely kick ass and force you to the dance floor too. This absolutely does). Songs like 40 Boys in 40 Nights, Midnite Snack, and Little Boy tell you that The Donnas may let you hang with them, but on their terms and their rules. Hell, I'll hang with them on any terms I can get. Listen to their take on potentially lecherous exec types on the opening track, Are You Gonna Move it for Me. Their cover of Judas Priest's Living After Midnight is killer. The Donnas' influences are clear, but they've molded them into the best balls-out rock album of the year. I can't wait to hear what's next. I also saw them 3 times this year, and they were the best shows of 2001. The shows are as explosive as the album.


So this album isn't as good as Beauty and the Beat, their landmark debut from 1980. Big deal, not too many albums are. It ain't far off the mark though. The fortysomethings rock out in this reunion album in good form, with a strong sense of maturity and confidence in themselves once again, seemingly over the trappings they fell into from their first go-go around. Now if it only got played more on the radio. What, it was played for about a week and that's it? Commercial radio is useless if you're searching for music worth your time, in case you don't know already.


And speaking of taking clear influences and molding it into a distinctive sound, here come the Strokes. I suggest listening to Marquee Moon by Television and White Light/White Heat by the Velvet Underground before listening to this and see for yourself if The Strokes are simply a ball of overhype by the "alternative" press in what has been a dismal year for developing rock bands, or if their songs are the really the next big thing of rock 'n roll (which can be a double-edged sword). Detractors do have a case, what with Albert Hammond, Jr. in the band (Anyone remember his father's It Never Rains in Southern California?) Well, it's not like The Strokes are Lenny Kravitz, who simply takes morsels of Zeppelin, Hendrix, and Curtis Mayfield, and pastes them onto album after album of his (BTW, his new album Lenny is my pick for the worst album of the year and one of the absolute worst album covers of all time. Just what I need to see on display. Lenny nosehairs). Anyway, back to The Strokes. I believe they are worthy of the hype (for now). Their next album may reveal little progress from this one, which will give the detractors further ammo, but this album shows a lot of upside. Yes, they love those legendary N.Y. bands (and you should too), but by no means is this a knockoff product.


Lots has already been said about this for this two-bit hack to add much more worthwhile. But why do you think this album is already being compared to his 1960's masterworks and Blood on the Tracks? I think it's because you can be in midtown Manhattan or driving down I-65 in Alabama and the album feels like the proper backdrop for what's going on around you. It's an album about America, just like his earlier greats.

From what I bought and listened to in 2001, this ranks as the best. It's rather limited, but then again, I'm not a full time critic. As far as new stuff goes, this year was rather thin. But as far as reissue albums go, it's been a great year. I hope to get the highlights out to you soon enough.

~~ George Krausser


In The Chaos Household

Last Night

Watched part of the CBS bloc o' sitcoms...'King Of Queens' makes me cringe, but, Jerry Stiller is always worth the effort. 'Ellen' took the place of 'Yes, Dear', and it was an improvement. 'Raymond' was pretty funny, but, then I think Peter Boyle is seriously unappreciated. 'Becker' was a long walk down a short pier.

Living on the left coast, 'Regis' followed 'MNF', and was the continuation of the '6 Degrees Of Kevin Bacon' theme. Kevin finally got to the hot seat.

Tonight, Tuesday, on NBC 'Emeril' returns! William Shatner is the guest star, and look for his request of ObL...It's followed by '3 Sisters', 'Frasier', 'Scrubs', and 'The Jane Pauley Show'.

On CBS, it's 'JAG', 'The Guardian' & 'Judging Amy'.

ABC has 'Dharma & Greg' doing the 'It's A Wonderful Life' flashback routine, then 'Spin City', 'NYPD Blue' & 'Philly'.

The WB has fresh episodes of 'The Gilmore Girls' and 'Smallville'.

Faux has fresh 'That 70's Show', 'Undeclared', and '24'.

UPN has reruns of 'Buffy' and 'Roswell'.

On AMC, there is '100 Rifles', where Raquel Welch DID NOT get along with Jim Brown (& it shows), and 'The Elephant Man', which was produced by Mel Brooks.

Anyone have any opinions?

Or reviews?

(See below for addresses)



BartCop TV!


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The 'Vidiot' never seems to rest - and doesn't let little things like laundry or housekeeping get in the way!

Damn near every show on TV must is listed - days & days worth of great reading.

If you have any questions about nearly any tv program, check out BC TV!


``Christmas in Plains: Memories''

Jimmy Carter

Former President Jimmy Carter called for quicker progress toward Middle East peace during a visit to promote his new book, ``Christmas in Plains: Memories.''

``I've been disturbed for the last 22 1/2 years by the lack of progress in the area,'' Carter said Saturday at the Tattered Cover Book Store.

He said he hopes the principles of the Camp David accords, which he mediated between Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin in 1978, will continue to dominate policy there. He also hopes that current leaders continue to strive for peace in the region.

Carter, 77, was on a national promotional tour for the book, which traces Carter family Christmases from 1930 to the present.

Jimmy Carter


Tomorrow, In Las Vegas, It's

''Frank Sinatra Day''

Fifty years after Frank Sinatra's debut at the Desert Inn resort, the Chairman of the Board will be honored with his own day.

Dec. 12, which would have been Sinatra's 86th birthday, will be celebrated as ``Sinatra Day'' in Nevada, Lt. Gov. Lorraine Hunt and Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman announced last week.

``If anyone deserves his own day in Las Vegas, it's Frank Sinatra, who epitomized all the best of Las Vegas style and cool,'' Goodman said.

Las Vegas Strip hotel-casinos will display ``Happy Birthday Frank'' on their marquees, and the Bellagio fountains and the Fremont Street Experience will play musical tributes.

Tomorrow Is ''Frank Sinatra Day'' In Las Vegas


U.S. Comedy Arts Festival


The U.S. Comedy Arts Festival is planning to return to Aspen in February for an eighth consecutive year.

Brian Murphy, the festival's co-executive director, said organizers are negotiating with Aspen officials to develop discount packages that would reduce lodging costs and airfares.

The festival is set for Feb. 27-March 3.

Festival organizers have not committed to Aspen for the 2003 event.

Aspen 2002

HBO Comedy Festival


Wedding News

Reno - Rabbino

Former U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno officiated at the wedding of her niece, model Hunter Reno, during an outdoor ceremony in a tropical garden.

Hunter Reno, a model and host of ``Exotic Islands'' on the Travel Channel, married Peter Rabbino, co-founder of a Fort Lauderdale legal consulting firm, on Sunday.

The elder Reno, a Democratic candidate for governor, pronounced the couple husband and wife under a warm rain that drooped nearby trees.

About 200 guests, dressed in white guayaberas and Hawaiian shirts, mingled among tiki torches at the Coral Gables reception. The couple plans a three-week vacation in Spain.

As a Florida notary, Reno has the power to perform weddings. She remains close to her niece, who calls her Aunt Jannie.

Wedding News - Reno & Rabbino



In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends


In The Kitchen With BartCop


Nursing Broken Ribs

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger was hospitalized with several broken ribs after a weekend motorcycle accident, his publicist said Monday.

The 54-year-old star of the ``Terminator'' movies was resting at St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica after the Sunday afternoon crash, publicist Jill Eisenstadt said.

``Don't worry,'' the actor said in a statement. ``This won't affect my skiing with my family at Sun Valley (Idaho) this Christmas.''

Details of the motorcycle accident, which also occurred in Santa Monica, were not immediately available.

Wonder How Many 'Several' Ribs Are?


Getting A Healthy Raise

David Hyde Pierce

``Frasier'' co-star David Hyde Pierce may be ready to join TV's very exclusive $1 million-an-episode club.

The series' producer, Paramount Network Television, has agreed to a new deal that would give the actor a weekly paycheck as high as $1 million for every episode, industry insiders said. The deal is expected to keep Pierce with the show through spring 2004, which is when NBC's current license agreement for ``Frasier'' expires.

Pierce's pact comes several months after ``Frasier'' star Kelsey Grammer inked a new two-year deal with Paramount paying him $1.6 million an episode, or $75 million over the life of the agreement. That deal made Grammer TV's highest-paid sitcom actor ever.

Each member of the cast of ``Friends'' pulls in $750,000 per episode, as does Drew Carey. Ray Romano's total salary package gives him about $800,000 per episode.

Pierce, 42, has won three Emmy Awards for his work on ''Frasier,'' which is now in its ninth season.

David Hyde Pierce


Waiting On A Rating


Members of the Motion Picture Association of America are meeting in Los Angeles today to decide whether "Ali" will be rated R.

Sony executives are hoping for a PG-13 rating, to attract a wider audience. One source told me last week that the studio was battling with director Michael Mann over the many uses of "mother-------." The feeling was that less cursing could garner a kinder, gentler rating.

But studio marketing head Geoffrey Ammer is quoted as saying the issue "is not words, but scenes. There are five that will probably make it an R. We would like a PG-13, but you can't do anything to take away the integrity of the movie, and we won't."

"Ali" comes out on Christmas Day.

Waiting On A Rating


As Per Alex's Suggestion

Donald Church

Donald Church shows the 13-inch-long, two-inch-wide surgical retractor that was accidentally left in his body

Donald Church, 49, of Lynnwood, Washington shows the 13-inch-long, two-inch-wide surgical retractor that was accidentally left in his body by a University of Washington Medical Center (UWMC) surgeon during an operation to remove a tumor, December 6, 2001.
Photo by Anthony P. Bolante

13-inch long, two-inch wide surgical retractor that was accidentally 
left in the body of Donald Church

An X-ray dated August 15, 2000 showing the 13-inch long, two-inch wide surgical retractor that was accidentally left in the body of Donald Church, 49, of Lynnwood, Washington, by a University of Washington Medical Center (UWMC) surgeon during an operation to remove a tumor on June 6, 2000. The stainless steel retractor, resembling a metal ruler, somehow slipped from the hands of a distracted doctor during the procedure. When Church complained of unusual post-operative pain, other doctors discovered the retractor during a CAT scan and surgically removed the device soon after. The UWMC agreed to pay Church $97,000 after accepting responsibility for the mistake.
Photo by Anthony P. Bolante


Embargoed Books To Be Re-Written?

Michael Moore

Michael Moore is shooting down reports that he's agreed to rewrite his book "Stupid White Men and Other Excuses for the State of the Union" to tone down his criticism of President Bush. ReganBooks, an imprint of HarperCollins, has reportedly printed 100,000 copies meant to go on sale in September but - for obvious reasons - are gathering dust in a Pennsylvania warehouse.

But the left-leaning director of "Roger and Me" and author of "Downsize This!" told PAGE SIX, "I'm not revising the book . . . I believe HarperCollins is a publisher that supports a diversity of ideas. I have no doubt that they will do the right thing." Moore describes his tome as "a book of political humor. I think we could all use a bit of relief right now, and I think the book will do very well." But a HarperCollins rep told us a different story: "Both Moore and ReganBooks thought its publication would be insensitive given the events of Sept. 11. We're going to make a decision in the next couple of days."

Michael Moore & ''Stupid White Men and Other Excuses for the State of the Union''


Audio Files From BC

Bonus Page Link

Looking for some 'Garbage'?

Here are some MP3 files from BC

Aw, come on....isn't anyone curious?

This is 4 days notice....this link will disappear in 4 days, and the files deleted...


Pride Of The Westside

''Snoop De Ville''

Snoop Dogg has never been known for lucid financial analysis, but the pot-puffing rapper has some stock tips. Snoop predicts General Motors shares will skyrocket once they start making his ghetto-fabulous "Snoop De Ville" limited edition sedan - "It'd be hooked up with the rims, the paint, the music - you ain't got to do nothing but drive," he tells MBA Jungle magazine. Snoop also likes Altadis, the world's fourth-largest tobacco producer, which makes his beloved Phillies Blunts.

Snoop Dogg & The Snoop De Ville


Big Dog Watch Continued...

Bill Clinton

Bill Clinton, The Last Elected President

Former U.S. President Bill Clinton puts his hand to his head at the eighteenth green after finishing his round of golf at the Turnberry course in Scotland. Clinton was due to be guest speaker later on Monday at the Jewish National Fund centenary dinner in Glasgow.
Photo by Jeff J Mitchell


New! Updated!

(10 Dec., 2001)

BartCop Astrology

The official BartCop Astrologer, Geneva, has done good, again!

Currently, look at the charts of George Harrison.

Very interesting reading!


``Cincinnati USA for Relief''

Peter Frampton

Peter Frampton paid homage to the late George Harrison at a concert he organized to raise money for the Sept. 11 relief fund.

During an encore Sunday night, the British guitarist played an emotional version of ``While My Guitar Gently Weeps'' as a tribute to Harrison, who died of cancer on Nov. 29 at age 58.

Frampton, 51, has said he owes his solo career to Harrison. Frampton was living in England and performing with the British rock group Humble Pie when Harrison first asked him to play on ``All Things Must Pass,'' his first album after the breakup of the Beatles. Frampton said that led to his first solo recording.

Fans paid $60 a ticket for the four-hour ``Cincinnati USA for Relief'' concert. There also was a silent auction of items signed by Frampton and actors George Clooney and Sarah Jessica Parker. Director Cameron Crowe donated signed items from his movie ``Almost Famous.'' Frampton was a consultant and had a small role in the movie about the '70s rock star scene.

Frampton has lived in suburban Cincinnati for about a year and says he has started the process of becoming a U.S. citizen.

Peter Frampton


Mrs. Richie Lets Rip


The pop diva Madonna, herself no stranger to controversy, decided to swear live on British TV, prompting Channel Four to issue a speedy apology to its viewers for her "strong language."

"At a time when political correctness is valued over honesty, I would also like to say: Right on, mother- - - - - -, everyone is a winner!"

The Material Girl said she was presenting the award "not because I think that one artist is better than another, but because I want to support any artist who not only has something to say, but the balls to say it."

"Like love, it can be inspiring, inexplicable, provocative and sometimes infuriating. Nevertheless, we cannot live without it, so that is why I am here," she said.

The 33-year-old Creed, looking utterly bewildered in the media spotlight, said, "I would like to say thank you to a lot of people - that's nearly everyone."

The Turner Prize, won in the past by an elephant-dung painting and pickled animal carcasses, invariably stirs controversy, receives a critical battering and attracts up to 100,000 people annually to London's Tate Britain Museum.

Mrs. Richie Lets Rip


On ''Meet The Press''

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, wife of the last elected president

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., talks with reporters during the taping of "Meet The Press" at the NBC studios in Washington Sunday, Dec. 9, 2001.
Photo by Alex Wong


BC Entertainment Favorite Link

Moose & Squirrel Information One-Stop

What a great site! Information and reference materials of the first order!

Between 'Moose & Squirrel' and 'Google', who needs 'refdesk'!


The Music Of LOTR

Howard Shore

For Canadian composer Howard Shore, it has been the movie challenge of a lifetime -- writing the nine-hour score for the ``Lord of the Rings'' trilogy.

But he loved every moment in the dark and fantastical world of Middle Earth, can't wait to dive back in and is hopeful the mammoth composition could be Oscar-winning material.

Shore, whose impressive Hollywood track record ranges from ``Seven'' to ``Mrs. Doubtfire,'' from ``Silence of the Lambs'' to ``Philadelphia,'' was the first to admit this was the most daunting musical challenge he had ever faced.

``In future you will be able to watch a nine-hour version of 'Lord of the Rings'. I think of this as act one,'' Shore said.

Howard Shore & LOTR

Long time ago, the 'Saturday Night Live' band was led by G. E. Smith (Gilda Radner's first husband), and when he left he was replaced by Howard Shore. Howard later passed the baton on to Paul Shaffer, who had been the resident keyboard man & music arranger, and currently works on Dave's Show.


Wednesday Wedding News

Judd - Franchitti

Celebrities began arriving in Scotland on Monday for the wedding of actress Ashley Judd and Scottish racing driver Dario Franchitti.

Local registrar Lesley Connor has confirmed the wedding is planned for Wednesday, but the location has not been announced.

Judd and Franchitti originally posted their banns, or notice of intent to marry, at the town of Bonar Bridge on Jan. 31, but moved the date forward and changed the location to Dornoch, reportedly so they could marry at Skibo Castle.

Wedding News


Newest Hollywood Squabble

Actors vs. Agents

Hollywood's actors and the talent agents who get them work are squabbling over the way they conduct business, and the feud could create a seismic shift in the entertainment industry's power structure.

Simply put, the agents want to cast off 30-year-old regulations that are firmly policed by the Screen Actors Guild (SAG). Deregulation would allow agents to diversify, but actors worry that agents will end up as producers whose first priority will no longer be their acting clients.

On Jan. 20, the union's agreement with the Assn. of Talent Agents (ATA) expires. The two sides, who make their living as skilled communicators, have not negotiated since November of last year. If no accord is reached, all the national rules governing actors and agents will be thrown out the window.

If no agreement is reached, any one or more of the following could occur:

- Talent agencies could buy, or be bought by, another type of company.

- The Screen Actors Guild could demand that actors leave agencies that have outside business ties. If angry thesps refuse, SAG could lose many of its 98,000 members.

- Since SAG is headquartered in California, the State Labor Commissioner and state legislature have jurisdiction over this matter; those organizations could intervene in order to regulate agents more closely.

And, for added entertainment value, most of these situations would lead to bitter and protracted lawsuits by both actors and agents.

To hear both sides talk, this is an extremely complicated matter, with endless ramifications, nuances and side issues.

But, in fact, this is an emotional matter that comes down to one central conflict: Whether actors still will be in business with their agents.

Actors vs. Agents


Will He Run Again?

Jesse Ventura

For three years, Jesse Ventura has seemed a sort of Kevlar governor; flak that would have ruined traditional politicians had no impact on him.

Now, with a year left in office, the Independence Party maverick is showing signs of vulnerability.

A recent poll gave him his lowest approval numbers to date, his potential rivals are circling and an influential political newsletter flatly predicts he won't be re-elected if he runs.

This month, the state learned it will face a nearly $2 billion budget shortfall, a swing of $4 billion from a prediction last year. Ventura said he may have to raise taxes.

But perhaps more than anything else, the governor has taken criticism for seeming unconcerned when owners of major league baseball put the Minnesota Twins in their sights as one of two teams targeted for elimination.

He's since come around some on the Twins, taking to the airwaves and appearing before Congress to chastise the owners, and professing openness to stadium plans paid for with user fees and ticket taxes.

But it's all been a little too troublesome for many Minnesotans, who prefer their government, like the children in fabled Lake Wobegon, to be above average.

Ventura hasn't said if he will run again, and says he won't until next spring, yet new poll numbers suggest such an effort wouldn't be easy.

Will Govenor Jesse Run Again?


Back In the News


A federal grand juror was charged Monday with telling associates of O.J. Simpson that the home of the former football star was going to be searched as part of a drug investigation.

John Acosta, 31, was charged with obstruction of justice. Prosecutors scheduled a news conference for later Monday.

Simpson's house was searched last week by federal agents as part of the investigation into an Ecstasy drug ring also tied to money laundering and satellite TV equipment theft.

Yale Galanter, Simpson's attorney, told reporters following the search that he had been warned that authorities might serve a search warrant on his client. He declined to elaborate.

Acosta heard testimony and saw evidence about the drug ring, FBI agent David Magnuson said in an affidavit filed Friday.

According to the affidavit, Acosta alerted defendant Zenaida Galvez to the investigation. The FBI said Acosta was a friend of Galvez's boyfriend.

More OJ



"Boondocks" (9 Oct 01)

Boondocks: The Best Comic Strip Today



Over Vitebsk

Marc Chagall's "Study for 'Over Vitebsk'"


Is It Just Me, Or Does Big Boy Look Like Tom Ridge?


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