BartCop Entertainment Archives - Tuesday, 5 September, 2006

Tuesday

5 September, 2006

big hammer - bigger hammer

(Updated Daily)

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Issue #192

Disinfotainment Today

By Michael Dare

Issue #192
is brought to you by...
VELCRO
 
 
Swami Calls for an Up-Wising!
Wise Up, Everybody ...The Evolution Has Begun!
By Swami Beyondananda
 
    For years now, we've been hearing "shift happens," and wondering when, where and how. Now finally, it looks as if the shift is about to hit the fan. This is good news for all those shift fans who've been wondering if the new age will arrive before old age does. Of course, if you're looking for signs in the news, you won't find them. At least, not yet. The news might as well be called the "olds," because the world still seems stuck in greedlock, ruled by fossilized fools fueled by fossil fuels. But I have been receiving encouraging intelligence reports that say indeed, humans are becoming more intelligent. Yes, people everywhere are wising up. And that's great, because we could sure use an up-wising!
    The evolution has begun. But before we see changes in the old needy-greedy, we humans must change our consciousness - and the first step is becoming conscious of how unconscious we've been. As the saying goes, the truth shall upset you free, and last year saw lots of disillusionment. But what better to free us from the far more dangerous condition of illusionment? If we want to stop the abuse of power, the first step is to disabuse ourselves. So, here's some good news: Despite a massive media impropaganda machine that feeds the public "babblum" (strained bullshit made digestible for a simple child's mind), more and more Americans are reading between the lyins' and peering behind the Irony Curtain.
    In 2005, Americans had to face the sad realization that the Bush Administration's "pro-life" stance appears to be limited to the unborn and the brain-dead. Despite being panned by critics everywhere, the Iraqi Horror Picture Show continued its run, as thousands and thousands of born fetuses - ours and theirs - lost their right to life. While we may or may not have saved face by staying there, we have most definitely lost ass. And we've been assured we'll be stuck in that morass until -- well, until there's no more ass to lose. Meanwhile, more and more Americans reached another sad conclusion: We're not in Iraq to keep the peace, we're there to keep the pieces.
    The signs of up-wising are everywhere. Even the most unpleasant stories are beginning to break through the soundless barrier and defy the President's "don't ask, don't tell" policy: "You promise not to ask us what we're doing, and we promise not to tell you." Although we've been inundated with "fear-gnomes" and ominously warned we have to protect ourselves in this dogma-eat-dogma world, a majority of Americans are no longer comfortable with the notion that the only way to defeat the "evil-doers" in the world is to out evil-do them. Although our President has assured us that "we don't torture," it is now common knowledge that we simply send detainees to countries that do torture when we want them to "testify under oaf."
    As for those progressives who've been whining that the President "never listens" to them, well it turns out he's been listening all along. And thanks to the so-called Patriot Act (which, I understand, is about to be renamed the Eternal Insecurity Act), it looks like he'll be able to listen in even more - all in the name of making us safe. But now even some Republicans are beginning to see that there's a difference between protection and the "protection racket." And with the recent revelations about Tom DeLay, Jack Abramoff and other gold collar criminals, some of the more devout conservatives have come to realize that the "family values" they voted for bear an uncanny resemblance to Soprano Family values.
    If there was any warm feeling in 2005, chalk it up to climate change. Katrina hit, and in the government's response we saw a future when at last all Americans will be equal - where everyone regardless of race or creed will be treated like Black folks.
 
Alarming Policies Have Awakened Millions!
 
    Fortunately this is the State of the Universe Address, and from a universal perspective, things are humming along quite nicely. It turns out that the Earth is the talk of the Universe these days. In fact, the odds-makers at the Intergalactic Enquirer say the odds are actually in our favor: "We're betting on the human race to reach critical mass before they get to critical massacre." And we could beat the odds, if we finally gave up our addiction to getting even and got odd instead. It stands to reason. If each of us used our unique oddness to improve the odds for everyone, there would be no need for getting even.
    Yes, the up-wising has begun, and intergalactic observers are saying that we have none other than George W. Bush to thank. How is that, you may ask? Well, I am reminded of a story my guru Harry Cohen Baba used to tell. A well-known minister died and arrived at the Pearly Gates at the same time as a cab-driver from New York. The cabbie was ushered in, but the clergyman was left waiting outside. After waiting and waiting and waiting, he finally called over the attending angel. "Excuse me, but I'm a renowned minister. How come you let that cab-driver in, and I'm left waiting out here?" "Well," the angel said, "when you preached, everyone slept. But when he drove, everyone prayed."
    For millennia, spiritual teachers have been calling on us to go for the highest common denominator, but we've always seemed to end up with the lowest common dominator instead. And now, George W. Bush has done what preachers, teachers and other far-sighted visionaries have failed to do up until now: His policies have been so alarming, that he has awakened a slumbering body politic that slept through all previous alarms. Where others have failed, he has people all across the world praying, "God help us!" And instead of waiting for an intervention from above - after all, we cannot expect to be fed intravenously forever - people are beginning to help themselves, and even more importantly, help each other.
    Sure, there are still plenty of Not-Sees out there who insist on not seeing that we humans are all in the same boat. The good news is, more and more Americans are getting that sinking feeling that there's only one Earthship, and ignoring a leak because it's "on the other side of the boat," is a mistake of titanic proportions.
 
We Are the Leaders We've Been Waiting For
 
    America, the world's only super-power, doesn't need a revolution. We've already had one, thank you. What is needed now - and what has already begun - is the American Evolution where enough of us wake up and see that those two political parties have been partying on our dime, and we the people haven't been invited. Time to go beyond choosing the lesser of two weasels. If we want to evolve the dream of our Founding Fathers - instead of devolve into the nightmare of Big Brother - we must become the leaders we've been waiting for. I've said it before. The only force more powerful than a super-power is a Super-Duper Power - the power of the people plus the power of love. And anyone who doesn't believe we are a Super-Duper Power, well they have been super-duped!
    It's true, many people still feel that the affairs of the world should be left to the bolder and badder among us. But look what that leaves us with: Are you satisfied choosing between Saddam Hussein and George Who's-Not-Sane? Now I know those "God, guns and guts" Old Testament Christians might have forgotten, but Jesus did say that the meek shall inherit the earth. In all undue immodesty, maybe it's time for us meek folks to boldly step forth and accept our inheritance.
    For just as 2000 years ago Jesus stood up to a class that placed the rule of gold above the Golden Rule, today we face the modern version of the Pharisees - the Phallusees, I think they are called. They cynically cloak themselves in religious robes, but the only power they trust is the power of the stick. Well, there's another old saying: It doesn't matter how big your stick is, if you stick your stick where it doesn't belong, you're stuck.
    Another sign of the up-wising and coming evolution is that people are growing dissatisfied with the positionality of "my side vs. your side," and are seeing the whole issue of sides from a new angle: Maybe we're all on the same side. For example, this argument between creationism and evolution is just another way for dueling dualities to steal our energy. I believe in both. I believe the Creator created us to evolve, otherwise Jesus would have said, "Now don't do a thing till I return." I have it on good authority that the Creator is pulling for us: "Come on, you children of God. Time to grow up and become adults of God instead."
 
Time to Overgrow the System From the Grassroots Up
 
    The time for revolution and overthrowing has past. Now we need an evolution where we "overgrow" the current dysfunctional system from the grassroots up. You are probably familiar with the story of the Native American grandfather who tells his grandson that there are two wolves fighting inside all of us: The wolf of fear and anger, and the wolf of love and peace.
    "Which wolf will win?" asks the young boy.
    "Whichever one we feed," replies the grandfather.
    And so when people ask me to predict what will happen, I tell them the only thing I can predict with certainty is the uncertainty of any prediction. The future's just too unpredictable these days. This is a Universe of infinite possibilities, so it all depends on which futures we invest in.
    There is something far more empowerful than predictions, and that is Tell-A-Vision. If you're fed up with the current programming, my advice is turn off your TV and tell a vision instead. That way, we will have healing and functional visions to step into - and that beats what we've been stepping into. So I will tell my vision for 2006: This is the year of the American Evolution, where all those who prefer the Golden Rule to the rule of gold get past left and right, and come front and center.
    I see Americans of all political stripes, plaids and polka dots (not to mention solids), choosing to face the music and dance together. Sure, we'll have to learn some new steps, but it's time for a new dance - A-Bun-Dance. That is where we get up off our assets, move our buns, and dance together in rhythm and flow. And what better way to turn the funk into function, and leave the junk at the junction?
    I see us in a new reality show - Extreme Planetary Makeover - where everyone can play and everyone can win. Just think. Something more compelling than reality TV ... it's called reality!
    I know, I know. Only a crazy person would dare to propose anything that sane. But maybe it's time to declare the current institutionalized insanity illegally insane, and set about building a sane asylum big enough for all six and a half billion of us. As my guru Harry Cohen Baba has said, "Life is like a good deli. Even if something isn't on the menu, if enough people order it they have to make it." So what kind of new world order are we ordering up? Do we feed the wolf of fear and buy into the "it's every man for himself" story? Or do we nourish the wolf of love and evolve into the "we're all in it together" story?
    If we're going to be a Super-Duper Power, we have to be super-duper powerful in activating the power of love, and cultivating the power of joy. So laugh more. Why not? We all know there's something funny going on. The wall of lies cannot withstand the vibration of laughter. All seriousness aside, only a farce field that combines truth and laughter can bring down the Irony Curtain once and for all.
    Release the old story - been there, done that - and speak the new story into the world. Dare to imagine what we could be doing if we weren't spending so much of our livelihood on weapons of deadlihood. Think about it .... think tanks where they think about something other than tanks. Young people living for their country instead of dying for it. Health and education fully funded, and the Air Force having to run a bake sale so they can buy a new bomber.
    Can we change the course of history? Can we shift our karma into surpassing gear? I cannot say for sure, but if we choose to give up that old Dodge and trade it in for an Evolvo, that's a good first step. So ... let the Evolution begin. We don't have to wait until the first Big Shot is fired. If we create a powerful enough field, the Big Shots will end up firing themselves.
    May the FARCE - as always - be with us.
 
 
Lame Excuse
 
My big problem has always been an absolute focus upon creation to the detriment of marketing and sales. I would spend months writing a script or book, and instead of spending the next few months getting my it into the hands of the right people, I'd spend it writing another script or book, which was much more fun, but infinitely less lucrative. Lately I've been paying less attention to the news and more attention to agents and producers and publishers and the wonderful world of blind submissions. Sending things to people who AREN'T on my mailing list, following up on every response, putting all efforts into doing something with what I've already done instead of creating anything new.
 
Which is why there haven't been many Disinfotainment Todays lately.
 
Sophistimicated Doowacky of the Week
 
Dubya needs help removing various tumors, malignant growths, and vestigial organs from his governing body. It's your patriotic duty to play Operation.
 
Gallery of the Week
Surely there's a better way to traumatize your children
than to give them a Strange Doll.
 
Answers to the Last Stupid Question
 
How would you leave your personal mark somewhere within classic fiction past?
 
FACT IS JUST FICTION ON ACID.
- JD
 
Right after Jesus questioned the Lord at Gethsemane about having to be crucified, in the margins I would then insert a Scofieldized text relating: "Then Jesus realized, 'Oh shit, I just doubted my G_d!'"
- DanD
 
I'd have a three way with Tom Sawyer and Becky.
- Palantir
 
    From Great Expectations...
    it was after this, my first meeting with Estella, that I considered the possibility she was a bit of manipulative prick-tease. Hey! I thought having a love interest that's frustratingly doomed to failure will help develop me into more of a 3 dimensional character. I think Ill try chatting her up at every encounter, then leave with a feeling of depression and inadequacy, and compound this misery by failing to sleep with anyone else despite the fact I live in London. If nothing else, a bit of emotional content will make my memoirs slightly more interesting."
- Nick Kent
 
Urine stains on "Moby Dick" and/or "Ulysses".
- Dave Cogan
 
    from peter pan...
    Wendy: Why do you hate him so?
    peter: he "recently sought significant quantities of uranium from
- Dwight Burke
 
I'd slip in a XXX lesbian scene into The Crucible... why are kids still forced to read that? Is it THAT important a piece of literature/theatre?
- james and katherine allard
[Yes. Dramatizing the McCarthy Hearings as the Salem witch trials was a pretty damn cool thing for Arthur Miller to do, especially while they were actually happening. -MD]
 
    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, but mostly the worst of the worst as I returned to my clean, well-lighted place in the east of Eden, just this side of paradise, reeking of jitterbug perfume from a night to remember.
    My digital wristwatch said the date was '1:9:84' but I wasn't fooled; the damned dingus had been broken since Osama was 'our man in Havana,' and it was no time for a remembrance of things past in any case.
    Picture this: I knew from the boob tube that the war lover Bush's brain was on the beach, beating the tin drum, and we're all in a row for a long day's journey into night, unless sense and sensibility prevail and fear strikes out at the ballot box come November.
    It looked like the last hurrah of the conservatives without conscience, since all the king's men seemed to be eyeless in Gaza and stumbling in disarray. Still, the Christian crusaders were awaiting some dune messiah to arise, so one couldn't afford a separate peace just now, whatever the odds for tomorrow.
    If only we had a Siddhartha or Gandhi to guide us against the armies of the night; if only we could find a way to stop them before they lead us to the slaughterhouse. Five minutes to midnight passed, or maybe it was a darkness at noon, and I heard the heavy tick of the clock on the wall -- catch 22: how do you oppose brute force without using brute force and return to the age of reason and the rights of man? Perhaps Abraham, Martin and John had the answer, but they're gone with the wind; perhaps that question was really the last temptation of Christ. I'm a man, a part of a thin blue line, a summer soldier, a sunshine patriot waiting for the crack-up, anticipating some answered prayers, or you might simply call it a twist in the tale or the turn of the screw.
    I sat, with the guns of August ringing in my ears, the lords of flat Bush ruling the jungle, waiting for Lefty to take a walk in the sun, trying to enter laughing at the human comedy, the infinite jest, of Rove's Frankenstein (the idiot) and Deadeye Dick as masters of the universe -- masters of deceit, more like -- and wincing at the notion that another winter of our discontent may be in the offing. The stand has been taken and the way of all flesh promises we will find a farewell to arms and the madness of King George by January and write 'The End' to the day of the jackal. Or else we will be typing notes from the underground until 2010 in this brave new world of cabbages as kings.
- RS Janes
 
I'd like to be in the Bible and every time those wackers said something stupid I could say "That's vicious crap, Leviticus!" or "bullshit, Matthew!" or "John, you fucking wanker, you wouldn't know God if She bit you on the ass!" Though, it might take some of the romance out of the book and it would be a bit longer....
- waldo
DanD had this to say about Bill Maher's proud proclamation that "I Love Being on the Side of My President."
    So, while having always implied that IT IS NOT OKAY for the Germans to have dispossessed and slaughtered European Jewry, Maher feels that it's just fine for the Zionists to steal somebody else's land for their nation, and since it's only the indigenous "raghead" population of Palestine they're stealing it from, all is morally okay.
    I take special offense to the line where Maher proclaims: " There was no entity of Arabs called 'Palestine' before Israel made the desert bloom." If you look at ANY pre-20th-Century map of the Middle-East, and it will show a region clearly labeled as "Palestine." You will find the name "Israel"" nowhere.
    As a matter of Biblical history, "Israel" was allegedly founded on land originally owned by the Philistines (hence, the historic Land of Palestine). It was founded as a HEBREW nation. Later, the Hebrew kingdom disintegrated and broke up as a conquered region into smaller client-states, and ceased to exist as a HEBREW kingdom. A time before its conquest by Babylon, the only "known" surviving tribe of the Hebrew state -- the tribe of Judah -- established the first Jewish state in apart of Palestine that they called Judah. It was also during this time that a Jewish king of that tribal breakaway kingdom of the long-defunct Hebrew empire "rediscovered" the Torah while cleaning out the shelves and closets of Solomon's Temple. Upon realizing what he had discovered, he then sought to tribally "reestablish" the Hebrew faith as the state religion of that then, predominately pagan, Jewish kingdom.
    Thus "Judaism" was born.
    Sitting next to and to the north of Judah was a more lawless region sometimes referred to as "Israel," where the Samaritans (or Semitic Hebrew descendants who were not Jewish) dominated the region. The Israel of that era actually practiced a PAGAN version of the discombobulated Hebrew faith. Quite a bit later, well after the Jews returned to Palestine after being freed from Babylon by an Iranian ancestor, the"Jewish" Wars broke out with Rome and all of Palestine was -- once again-- wholly depopulated of Jews.
    In 1948, for the first time in history, the non-Semitic Ashkenazi Zionists of Europe established the first "Jewish" state ever in Palestine to be mis-named "Israel."
    Also, how did these "new-age" Israelis (and NOT Israelites) "make the deserts of Zionland bloom?" Why, they simply started stealing by force of military arms the primary water resources of all their crime-state's surrounding "sandnigger" Semitic neighbors. The blooming flowers of"Israel" has been watered with the blood of Arabs, BOTH Christian AND Muslim. They've even leavened it a little bit with some "self-hating"Jewish heart wine.
    Bill Maher is an unapologetic shill for Zionland.
- DanD
And Larry Grobel mentions that...
I too was once visited by Timothy Leary. He came knocking on my door when my radio play of Truman Capote was going to first air on NPR. Bud Cort was there, and Carol Kane. Bud had invited him. But he didn't tell me, so it was a surprise to see him standing there with flowers no less.
Check out Larry's new book on Al Pacino.
 
Stupid Question of the Week
 
Stabbed through the heart by a stingray is a strangely appropriate way for Steve Irwin to go. What are some strangely appropriate ways for other celebrities to bite the big one?
 
Satan Doesn't Want You to Know
 
The black team on Treasure Hunters was the only team that didn't make it through the slave's escape route.
 
 
Don't let this happen to you.
 
 

dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form, preferably parchment. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either satire or fair use.

Thanks,
 
 
 

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'Best of TBH Politoons'

Click Here!



Thanks, again, Tim!

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Recommended Reading

from Bruce

The pregnancy police are watching you (guardian.co.uk)
In the US, women of child-bearing age are being advised to consider themselves 'pre-pregnant' at all times, by giving up smoking, drinking and drugs. What are the implications of treating people as glorified incubators, asks Diane Taylor.


Tim Harford: A Cock-and-Bull Story (slate.com)
Explaining the huge rise in teen oral sex.


Dick Meyer: Labor Day? How About Labor Week?
Wages and salaries as a share of the gross domestic product are at the lowest point since the Department of Commerce starting keeping track of such things in 1947. From the 1950s through the mid-1970s, wages as a slice of GDP were safely above 50 percent. The percentage then dropped until the mid-1990s when it crept back up through 2000. Now the number is at the record low; take home pay now makes up just 45.3 percent of GDP.


Harold Meyerson: Devaluing Labor (washingtonpost.com)
Devaluing labor is the very essence of our economy. I know that airlines are a particularly embattled industry, but my eye was recently caught by a story on Mesaba Airlines, an affiliate of Northwest, where the starting annual salary for pilots is $21,000 a year, and where the company is seeking a pay cut of 19 percent. Maybe Mesaba's plan is to have its pilots hit up passengers for tips.


Amy Sullivan: Not God's Party (slate.com)
A new poll shows Democrats are losing (more) religious voters.


Helen Thomas: Democrats Should Offer Voters a Choice on Iraq (Hearst Newspapers. Posted on AlterNet.org)
Iraq is the big issue in the mid-term election, even if Democrats don't want it to be -- that's why they need to call for immediate withdrawal from Iraq.


Joel Waldfogel: Short End (slate.com)
Tall people earn more because they're smarter.


William Saletan: Please Do Not Feed the Humans (slate.com)
The global explosion of fat.


Jackie Dent: The gloves are off in academia (guardian.co.uk)
One group is up in arms about having to wear white gloves: the normally mild-mannered librarians of America.


Maureen Lipman: I find chat shows hard work these days. It was so different when Ustinov and Niven were weaving their magic on Parky
In the hands of the maestro, Niven and Ustinov gave one-man shows of such off-the-custom-tailored-cuff distinction, that their performances could have instantly gone platinum.

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SO WHAT DO YOU SAY

TO A NAKED LADY THAT'S

RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?

zEN mAN
(observing the beautiful yearly late summer blooming ritual of the "Naked Ladies" (Belladonna Lily) along Grizzly Peak Blvd. in Berkeley.....I say the same thing to them....everytime "Why you look lovely today!")

zEN mAN archives


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Hubert's Poetry Corner

GOODFELLOW AND THE BOY'S TOWN LOVE EXPRESS

PART OF THE UNIQUE W TECHNIQUE FOR INTIMATE ORAL MASTERY OF A FOREIGN LANGUAGE?

"GOODFELLOW AND THE BOY'S TOWN LOVE EXPRESS"


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Purple Gene Reviews

'Little Miss Sunshine'



Purple Gene's review of the movie "Little Miss Sunshine" (2006)    [view trailer]
Directed by Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris:

Just when I was about to completely give up on the summer season of first run movies, I decided to slip into the Piedmont Heritage Movie House to watch what I expected to be a sort of Disney-esque National Lampoonish "Vacation" comedy….what with a "40 Year Old Virgin" (2004)….."Doctor Freud", "Bob Crane" and "Muriel" all cavorting around with their 2 kids, what else would I expect…….

What I got was "Harry and Tonto" (1974) meet "Napoleon Dynamite" (2004) and "Junebug" (2005)…………sort of………….

"Little Miss Sunshine" is the story of a very very normally dysfunctionally fucked up run of the mill American family……



The Dad (Greg Kinnear - "Sabrina" (1995) - "Nurse Betty" (2000) - "Auto Focus" (2002) is trying to sell a book/tour company on his "9 steps to winning" self help scam. His father (Alan Arkin - "Wait Until Dark" (1967) - "The Seven-Per-Cent Solution" (1976) - "Jakob the Liar" (1999) is a crotchety heroin snorting "has been" who lives with the family. The Mom (Toni Collette - "Muriel's Wedding" (1994) - "Shaft" (2000) - "Connie and Carla" (2004) is a second time around house wife overburdened with everything. Her brother (Steve Carell - "The Daily Show" (1999) - "Bewitched" (2005) - "The 40 Year Old Virgin" (2005) is a neurotic gay writer who has just survived an attempted suicide and is forced to live with his sister under close watch…….but that's not all…we have the angsty Nietzsche reading sworn to silence teenage son named Dwayne (Paul Dano) and of course, the sprightly preteen be speckled semi pudgy wanna win a beauty contest with her dance routine (that her grandfather is teaching her) named Olive (Abigail Breslin)…….

This is one of those all hell breaks out type of movies where Olive gets a spot in the Little Miss Sunshine contest in Redondo Beach California……at the last minute…and everybody drops everything to hop in the old yellow VW mini bus to drive the 700 miles from Albuquerque…..this is gonna be some trip.

SPOILER ALERT           SPOILER ALERT

As they say, the journey is worth more than the final destination….well maybe not…after every member of the family has an epiphany and the bus breaks down and grandpa dies and dad loses his job and Dwayne finally talks and they have to push the bus cuz it won't start and they get stopped by a porn loving cop, they finally get to the Pageant….5 minutes late…the Pageant Head (Beth Grant) won't let them sign in…but with the help of pageant assistants, Olive will get her chance…but she'll have to go on last…..



Much to the horror of the whole family, this pageant is one of those creepy dress your 7 year old up to look like a slut "Living Dolls" (2001) child beauty queen style contest….well the whole family tries to stop Olive from doing her routine…but she says that Grandpa taught it to her and she didn't care what everyone thought…..so she walks on stage in her little top hat and boa….cue the music…..OH MY GAWD…..it's Rick James singing "She's a Super Freak"……and Olive gives the Pageant Officials fits as she bumps and grinds and they try to stop her but the whole family jumps up on stage and joins in…….WOW what a wonderful way to end a road trip!

Purple Gene gives "Little Miss Sunshine" 9 broken VW Bus horn honkings out of 10 for being a close to perfect way for me to end my summer cinematic sojourn!

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Selected Readings

from that Mad Cat, JD

THE JEWS ARE "ALL GOING TO HELL."

AMERICA'S WORST!

REPUBLICANS HATE THE WORKERS

WELCOME TO AMERIKA!

THE FIVE MORONS

'TODAY'S PIG IS TOMORROW'S BACON'

KAISER GEORGE

GEORGE BUSH AND THE PRESS IS ONE BIG CIRCLE JERK

MY KINGDOM FOR 'STAY THE COURSE.'

BUSHKIN LAND


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Ark Of Darkness

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In The Chaos Household

Last Night

No new flags.



Tonight, Tuesday:

CBS opens the night with a FRESH 'Big Brother 7', followed by a FRESH 'Rock Star: Supernova', then a RERUN 'NCIS'.
On a RERUN Dave (from 8/16/06) are Jessica Biel and Christina Aguilera.
On a RERUN Craig (from 7/28/06) are Kyra Sedgwick and Keith Olbermann.

NBC begins the night with a FRESH 'Fear Factor', followed by a RERUN 'Law & Order: Criminal Intent', then a RERUN 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Leno are Scarlett Johansson, Greg Behrendt, and Toby Keith.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Julianne Moore and Godsmack.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Leelee Sobieski and Kill Hannah.

ABC starts the night with a RERUN 'Jim', followed by another RERUN 'Jim', then still another RERUN 'Jim', followed by yet another 'Jim', then 'Primetime'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Lauren Holly, private investigator Vinny Parco, and the Roots.

The CW offers a RERUN 'Gilmore Girls', followed by another RERUN 'Gilmore Girls'.

Faux has the SEASON PREMIERE 'House', followed by the SERIES PREMIERE 'Standoff'.

MY has the SERIES PREMIERE 'Desire', followed by the SERIES PREMIERE 'Fashion House'.

A&E has 'Crossing Jordan', 'CSI: The 2nd One', 'Dog The Bounty Hunter', another 'Dog The Bounty Hunter', and the FRESH 'Guy Walks Into A Bar'.

AMC offers the movie 'Meet Joe Black', followed by the movie 'Jaws', then the movie 'Jaws 2'.

BBC  -   
 [2:00 pm]    As Time Goes By - Episode 6;
 [2:40 pm]    Are You Being Served - Hoorah For the Holidays;
 [3:20 pm]    Keeping Up Appearances - Episode 8;
 [4:00 pm]    The Avengers - The $50,000 Breakfast;
 [5:00 pm]    Footballers Wives - Episode 5;
 [6:00 pm]    BBC World News;
 [6:30 pm]    Cash in the Attic - Episode 3;
 [7:00 pm]    The Benny Hill Show - Episode 42;
 [8:00 pm]    Whose Line Is It Anyway? - Episode 7;
 [8:30 pm]    Whose Line Is It Anyway? - Episode 9;
 [9:00 pm]    Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares - Ep 6 Clubway 41;
 [10:00 pm]    Love Soup - Ep 6 War Is Heck;
 [11:00 pm]    Whose Line Is It Anyway? - Episode 17;
 [11:30 pm]    Whose Line Is It Anyway? - Episode 5;
 [12:00 am]    The Benny Hill Show - Episode 43;
 [1:00 am]    Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares - Ep 6 Clubway 41;
 [2:00 am]    Love Soup - Ep 6 War Is Heck;
 [3:00 am]    Bad Girls - Episode 1;
 [4:00 am]    Bad Girls - Episode 2;
 [5:00 am]    Bad Girls - Episode 3;
 [6:00 am]    BBC World News.    (ALL TIMES EDT)

Bravo has 'West Wing', 'Million Dollar Listing', another 'Million Dollar Listing', and a FRESH 'Queer Eye'.

Comedy Central has the movie 'Scorched', an old 'Jon Stewart', an old 'Colbert Report', 'Mind Of Menica', 'South Park', 'Chappelle's Show', and 'Reno 911!'.
On a RERUN Jon Stewart (from 8/23/06) is Frederick Lane.
On a RERUN Colbert Report (from 8/23/06) is Gideon Yago.

History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Meteors: Fire In The Sky', and 'Mega Movers'.

IFC  -   
 [06:05 AM]    Wendigo;
 [07:45 AM]    The Widow of Saint-Pierre;
 [09:35 AM]    Rabbit-Proof Fence;
 [12:15 PM]    Ed Wood;
 [02:25 PM]    Media Lab Uploaded;
 [03:15 PM]    The Widow of Saint-Pierre;
 [05:05 PM]    Rabbit-Proof Fence;
 [06:45 PM]    Ed Wood;
 [09:00 PM]    All About My Mother;
 [10:45 PM]    City of God;
 [01:00 AM]    All About My Mother;
 [03:00 AM]    City of God;
 [05:15 AM]    The Widow of Saint-Pierre.    (ALL TIMES EDT)

SciFi has 'Dead Like Me', another 'Dead Like Me', followed by a FRESH 'Eureka', and 'ECW'.

Sundance  -   
 [06:30 AM]    In Short: Wallace & Gromit;
 [08:00 AM]    The Mighty Celt;
 [09:30 AM]    Make It Real (to me);
 [10:30 AM]    In Short: Wallace & Gromit;
 [12:00 PM]    Mitchellville;
 [01:30 PM]    A Different War;
 [01:45 PM]    Control Room;
 [03:15 PM]    Monsterthursday;
 [05:00 PM]    Private;
 [06:30 PM]    Kath & Kim - Season 2: Another Announcement;
 [07:00 PM]    Wasp;
 [07:30 PM]    The Mighty Celt;
 [09:00 PM]    The Nominees: The Nominees: Episode 1;
 [09:30 PM]    City of Men - Season 2: Episode 4: The Ordinaries;
 [10:00 PM]    Wilbur (Wants to Kill Himself);
 [11:45 PM]    The Firefly Man;
 [12:00 AM]    Monkey Dust: Season 2: Episode 4;
 [12:30 AM]    Mitchellville;
 [02:00 AM]    The Nominees: The Nominees: Episode 1;
 [02:30 AM]    City of Men - Season 2: Episode 4: The Ordinaries;
 [03:00 AM]    In Short: Pride 2;
 [03:30 AM]    House of Boateng: Episode 3;
 [04:00 AM]    Helmut Newton: My Life;
 [05:00 AM]    Bhopal: The Search for Justice.    (ALL TIMES EDT)

TCM:
 [6:00 AM]    Side Street (1929);
 [7:15 AM]    The Office Wife (1930);
 [8:30 AM]    Panama Flo (1932);
 [9:45 AM]    Chatterbox (1936);
 [11:00 AM]    That Midnight Kiss (1949);
 [12:45 PM]    The Toast Of New Orleans (1950)     [View Trailer];
 [2:30 PM]    Because You're Mine (1952);
 [4:15 PM]    The Seven Hills Of Rome (1958)  [AKA: 'Arrivederci Roma'];
 [6:15 PM]    For The First Time (1959);
 [8:00 PM]    The Seventh Seal (1957)  [AKA: 'Det Sjunde inseglet']     [View Trailer];
 [9:45 PM]    Wild Strawberries (1957)  [AKA: 'Smultronstället'];
 [11:30 PM]    The White Sheik (1952)  [AKA: 'Lo Sceicco bianco'];
 [1:00 AM]    La Strada (1954);
 [3:00 AM]    Private Screenings: Anthony Quinn (1999);
 [4:00 AM]    Requiem For A Heavyweight (1962).    (ALL TIMES EDT)


Wednesday  -  09/06

TCM:
 [6:00 AM]    Merrily We Live (1938);
 [7:45 AM]    Zenobia (1939);
 [9:00 AM]    Topper (1937)     [View Trailer];
 [10:45 AM]    Topper Takes a Trip (1939);
 [12:15 PM]    Topper Returns (1941);
 [1:45 PM]    One Million B.C. (1940);
 [3:15 PM]    Turnabout (1940);
 [4:45 PM]    Road Show (1941);
 [6:15 PM]    The McGuerins From Brooklyn (1942);
 [7:15 PM]    Festival of Shorts #27 (2000);
 [8:00 PM]    Golden Boy (1939);
 [10:00 PM]    Sunset Boulevard (1950)     [View Trailer];
 [12:00 AM]    Born Yesterday (1950);
 [2:00 AM]    Network (1976)     [View Trailer];
 [4:15 AM]    Private Screenings: Sidney Lumet (2005);
 [5:30 AM]    MGM Parade Show #23 (1955).    (ALL TIMES EDT)



Any opinions?

Or reviews?







(See below for addresses)

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British actress Julie Walters, and British actor Rupert Grint, arrive at the London Premiere of their latest film, Driving Lessons, in London's Mayfair, Monday Sept. 4, 2006.
Photo by Max Nash
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Click Here!

Moose & Squirrel - The Blog

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Backs Hillary Clinton

Janet Jackson

US pop superstar Janet Jackson hopes Hillary Clinton will become the first woman president of the United States.

"Hillary Clinton as president -- that would be great," Jackson said in an interview with German press agency DPA Monday. "Then she could show all those people who wouldn't trust a woman with such a job."

Jackson, who is currently promoting her new album "20 Y.O.", declined to criticise US resident George W. Bush directly, saying only: "I am not satisfied with the situation in this world. I hate war."

Janet Jackson

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'Vascostylis Kwon Sang Woo' is displayed after the orchid's naming at Singapore's Botanic Gardens September 4, 2006. The new hybrid orchid was named in actor Kwon Sang Woo's honour on Monday.
Photo by Tim Chong
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Still Standing

Günter Grass

Nobel prize winning German novelist Günter Grass said on Monday he was still on his feet despite weeks of sharp criticism for his half century of silence about his time in Hitler's Waffen-SS.

"A lot has been said over the last three weeks. But I'm still standing on my two feet," Grass said at the launch of his new autobiographical book "Peeling the Onion."

A representative of the Steidl publishing house asked Grass the question: "Why now?." But at his first open public appearance since the revelation, Grass gave no explanation for the long silence about his time in the Nazi combat unit.

Günter Grass

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Charity Covers Album

'Between the Covers'

Tori Amos' radical reworking of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and the camp rendering of "Dancing in the Street" by David Bowie and Mick Jagger are among the tracks collected for a covers compilation CD that will benefit a medical charity.

Also included on "Between the Covers," which Sony BMG will release in the United States on September 12 to benefit the T.J. Martell Foundation, are Lenny Kravitz's take on "American Woman," Madonna's reheated "American Pie" and the Dixie Chicks' update of "Landslide."

The other tunes are: "Everlasting Love," by U2; "Downtown Train," by Rod Stewart; "Ol' 55," by Sarah McLachlan; "Nobody Knows You When You're Down And Out," by Eric Clapton; "Cold Cold Heart," by Norah Jones; "This Woman's Work," by Maxwell; "The First Cut Is The Deepest," by Sheryl Crow; and "If I Was Your Woman"/"Walk On By," by Alicia Keys.

The T.J. Martell Foundation, which has strong ties to the music industry, supports cancer, leukemia, and AIDS research.

'Between the Covers'

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bartcook

In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends

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Sondheim At Closing

'Sweeney Todd'

"Sweeney Todd" closed not with a slash of a barber's razor but with a barrage of flowers - and a visit from the master himself.

As Patti LuPone and Michael Cerveris, the stars of the Stephen Sondheim musical, stood on stage Sunday night with the rest of the cast after the final performance of this revival, the flowers came soaring out of the orchestra and mezzanine.

Among those applauding wildly at Eugene O'Neill Theatre was none other than Sondheim, who wrote the music and lyrics for this grim tale of a demon barber in 19th-century London.

The roaring ovation began even before the curtain went up. It resumed at the end of the first act and reached a howling crescendo after Cerveris' murderous barber slammed the door and walked off stage to end the show.

'Sweeney Todd'

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A personal watercraft rides by the City of Crisfield as it makes its final turn on the seven-mile race on the Tangier Sound, Monday, Sept. 4, 2006, during the 47th annual Skipjack Race on Deal Island, Md. The skipjack finished second behind the Thomas Clyde.
Photo by Matthew S. Gunby
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WW2 Secret

'Dress Code'

German spies hid secret messages in drawings of models wearing the latest fashions in an attempt to outwit Allied censors during World War Two, according to British security service files released on Monday.

Nazi agents relayed sensitive military information using the dots and dashes of Morse code incorporated in the drawings.

They posted the letters to their handlers, hoping that counter-espionage experts would be fooled by the seemingly innocent pictures.

But British secret service officials were aware of the ruse and issued censors with a code-breaking guide to intercept them.

The book -- part of a batch of British secret service files made public for the first time -- included an example of a code hidden in a drawing of three young models.

'Dress Code'

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I'm Pissed
(formerly 'The Vidiot')

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

China Imposes 5-Year Ban

Lou Ye

China has banned director Lou Ye from making movies for the next five years after he submitted "Summer Palace" to the Cannes Film Festival without official approval, state media reported on Monday.

Lou did not clear the film, a romance set against the backdrop of the 1989 Tiananmen Square protests that also features explicit sex scenes, with China's state censors before going to Cannes in May.

It was not Lou's first run-in with authorities. His 2000 film "Suzhou River," a love story about a motorcycle courier and a smuggler's daughter, won the top prize at the Rotterdam Film Festival but was banned in China.

Lou Ye

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Saimir Strati shows the portrait of Leonardo Da Vinci he created with industrial nails at the International Centre of Culture in Tirana September 4, 2006. Strati, 40, was recognised by Guinness World Record officials for having created the world's largest nail mosaic, which consisted of about 500,000 industrial nails on a 8 square-meter wooden board.
Photo by Arben Celi
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Dedicating Kids' Club

Oprah Winfrey

Talk show host Oprah Winfrey plans to be in her birthplace of Kosciusko to dedicate a state-of-the-art Boys & Girls Club she helped sponsor.

The estimated $5 million facility houses a gymnasium, computer lab and garden.

The project began in 1998, after the talk-show host visited Kosciusko to dedicate a Habitat for Humanity home she funded, mayor Jimmy Cockroft said. After meeting with the community, Winfrey decided that a Boys & Girls Club would be the most beneficial thing she could do for young people.

Oprah Winfrey

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In this photo released by the Empire Expo Center, Nicole Coronas performs on the trapeze during the New York State Fair Sunday, Sept. 3, 2006, in Syracuse, N.Y.
Photo by Mike Okoniewski
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Michael Winner's Winner

'Death Wish'

Flamboyant British director Michael Winner is in no doubt -- his vigilante movie "Death Wish" is the most copied film in the history of cinema.

At the age of 70, Winner is happy to admit he made some real stinkers in his film career and also turned down the chance to direct classics like "The French Connection."

But he is unrepentant about "Death Wish."

"It was a complete watershed film. It was inconceivable that anyone could make a film where the hero killed other citizens," he told Reuters in an interview to promote "Death Wish" being launched on Monday in a special DVD edition.

'Death Wish'

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White House political advisor Karl Rove tells a hunting story to reporters during a presidential visit to a maritime training institute in Piney Point, Maryland September 4, 2006.
Photo by Jonathan Ernst
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Resolves Legal Dispute

Meat Loaf

Rock singer Meat Loaf said Monday a recent legal dispute with frequent collaborator Jim Steinman stemmed from the dislike of each other's managers and was quickly resolved.

Meat Loaf - whose real name is Michael Aday - filed a U.S. federal lawsuit against Steinman in late May challenging the producer's ownership of the phrase "Bat Out of Hell."

"It's about managers. I think Jim Steinman's manager is the devil. Jim Steinman thinks my manager is the devil, so we had to communicate through managers," he said.

Meat Loaf

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Intan, a two-months-old Proboscis monkey (Nasalis larvatus), plays in her enclosure at the Singapore Zoo September 4, 2006.
Photo by Tim Chong
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