Bartcop Entertainment - Tuesday, 2 September, 2003

Tuesday

2 September, 2003

big hammer - bigger hammer

(Updated Daily)

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Issue #69

Disinfotainment Today

By Michael Dare


"It may be a day off for YOU. I've got a paper to get out."

Issue #69
is brought to you by


 
 
Happy Labor Day
 
"The most helpful man in any community is not the man who dispenses the most charity. On the contrary, he is the one who makes any kind of charity or aid unnecessary. he is, if I may say so, the man who gives the most people self-respecting gainful employment."
- Vollie Tripp -
 
"Working people in the United States are being screwed. Not only are we losing high-paying manufacturing jobs, but our benefits are second-rate when compared to those of white- and blue-collar working people in other industrialized democracies. Take vacations, for example. Typically, American workers get two weeks paid vacation a year, provided they have worked at a company for a specified time. The typical vacation time in countries of the European Union is four weeks per year, that's the legal minimum. Think of that statistic next time flag-waving yahoos start chanting, 'We're Number One!'"
- Marty Jezer: Steamed for Labor Day -
 
"One of this administration's first actions was to repeal the ergonomic regulations that prevent repetitive stress. Two years later, the administration solved the entire problem with characteristic brilliance: It revoked the provision requiring employers to report such injuries! This was almost as good as the time that the administration solved global warming by simply editing it out of an environmental report."
 
"In the past year, 700,000 people were added to the list of unemployed. The number of people out of work for half a year or more is up 28%. Thanks to 'Welfare to Work' (and Bill Clinton), July of 2003 saw 43.8% of the unemployed lose their state support even though they still could not find a job. Jobs have simply evaporated."
 
    "In celebration of the working person's holiday, Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao has announced the Bush Administration's plan to end the 60-year-old law which requires employers to pay time-and-a-half for overtime.
    "I'm sure you already knew that -- if you happened to have run across page 15,576 of the Federal Register. 
    "According to the Register, where the Bush Administration likes to place it's little gifts to major campaign donors, 2.7 million workers will lose their overtime pay -- for a 'benefit' of $1.53 billion. I put 'benefit' in quotes because, in the official cost-benefit analysis issued by Bush's Labor Department, the amount employers will now be able to slice out of workers' pockets is tallied on the plus side of the rules change. 
    "Nevertheless, workers getting their pay snipped shouldn't complain, because they will all be receiving promotions. These employees will be re-classified as managers exempt from the law. The change is promoted by the National Council of Chain Restaurants. You've met these 'managers' - they're the ones in the beanies and aprons whose management decisions are, 'Hold the lettuce on that.'"
- Greg Palast: The Grinch that Stole Labor Day -
 
7,300,000 Americans hold more than one job.
 
What a Coinkydink
 
Two wildfires sprang up in view of the spot where President Bush planned to promote his plan to thin forests for wildfire prevention, and they both appeared just as his plans emerged. There were rumors of mysterious black helicopters clattering over the forest shortly before the fires were spotted the afternoon of Aug. 19, two days before the president's visit, because there really were black helicopters clattering over the forest. 
 
"Typically the Secret Service does all kinds of aerial surveillance before the president comes in," said Don Ferguson, an information officer for what have become known as the B&B complex fires. "They pretty much know the location of every tree." 
 
No lightning that might have sparked fires had struck the area for at least 11 days before the twin blazes were sighted, according to the Northwest Interagency Coordination Center in Portland.
 
 
No Connection
 
We invaded Afghanistan and now Russia has a big heroin problem. We invaded Iraq and now Baghdad has a big heroin problem.
 
Gallery of the Week
 
Here's an interesting concept. Jim Gasperini has taken the two images from a 3D camera and put them in animated gifs that go back and forth between the two images, creating amazing looking pseudo-3D images.
 
Free Music of the Week
 
The Capital Steps sing Goodbye, Uday Qusay, with apologies to the Rolling Stones.
 
Randy Newman sings the Star Spangled Banner, with apologies to everybody.
 
The Chipmunks sing Remember Sept. 12, with apologies to nobody.
 
Vietnam Redux
 
The last time I checked the ticker at Cost of War in Iraq, it was at $71,804,339,227.
 
Petition of the Week
 
This September at the World Trade Organization (WTO) meeting in Cancun, Mexico, the U.S. Trade Representative will attempt to expand the WTO's power over Communications and Audiovisual Services  including film, radio, television, video, and music production, as well as media distribution services such as satellite, cable and broadcast. This is part of a quiet pattern of closed-door negotiations that could spell disaster for vibrant media systems worldwide. Tell them you think it's a bad idea.

Fake Headlines of the Week
 
Necrophilia: Raising the Dead to Find a Man Who Will Both Agree With Me and Go Out With Me
by Ann Coulter
- Amazon.com -
 
2002 crime rate lowest in 30 years
"Not as much worth stealing," explains recession-weary thief.
- National Lampoon -
 
Disgusted Man Realizes He Used To Masturbate To Anna Nicole Smith
George Loonit felt suicidal last week when he realized that the bloated, drug-addled celebrity on the Anna Nicole Smith Show was in fact the same woman that he used to masturbate to, nearly a decade earlier.
- The Fake News -
God Calls For Retirement of Pat Robertson
VATICAN CITY - Amid a blaze of lights, God called for Pat Robertson's retirement at a press conference early Friday.
- The Daily Bull -
 
Supreme Court Rules Ashcroft's Anal Probings Unconstitutional
Ashcroft, currently touring the nation to defend the invasive Patriot Act -- under which the probes were enacted -- called the court's decision "unfortunate."
- No Apologies! Press -
 
WorldCom Receives $1 Billion Sweetheart Pentagon Contract
Will rebuild Iraq's system of accounting fraud.
- Ironic Times -
 
IN REVERSAL, SCHWARZENEGGER PLEDGES TO HAVE GROUP SEX WITH ENTIRE STATE
Hopes to Halt Porn Star's Surge in Polls
- The Borowitz Report -
 
No One Makes It To Burning Man Festival
GERLACH, NV
The Burning Man festival, a prominent artistic and countercultural event that draws tens of thousands of people to the Nevada desert annually, is in danger of cancellation this week because "no one had their shit together enough to even make it," organizers said Tuesday.
- The Onion -
 
Google Smackdown of the Week


vs.

and the winner is...

"ass" by 15,023,500!

Shockwave of the Week
 
Your all gay. Yeah, that means you.
 
 I Feel So Much Safer Now
 
The federal government will post a record $480 billion deficit next year and accumulate almost $1.4 trillion in new debt over the next decade. (To put that number in perspective, try holding your breath and counting to 1.4 trillion).
 
A brand new detainment camp is being built at Guantanamo.
 
Alan Dershowitz has come out in favor of torture.
 
Speaking of torture, this paper (PDF format) covers the emergence of new sub-lethal, incapacitating and paralyzing technologies and their coming role in the mass production of torture, cruel, inhumane and degrading treatment.
 
Wally O'Dell, CEO of Diebold Inc., sent out letters to central Ohio Republicans asking them to raise $10,000 in donations in time for a Sept. 26 Ohio Republican Party event at his home. His company, which specializes in security and election machinery, is one of three under consideration to supply new, electronic voting machines to replace punch card machines still in use in 71 Ohio counties. In his invitation, O'Dell states his support for the Republican Party and notes he is "committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the President next year." 
 
Forget the Kyoto protocols, the Bush administration has decided to stop regulating all carbon dioxide emissions from automobiles.
 
Dubya is pushing legislation that would have sent him to jail.
 
Calling all Screenwriters
 
Learn Character Development, Plot Structure, Writing for Film & Television, Script Marketing, Career Strategies, Pitch Craft and more at the largest and most intimate screenwriting conference north of Los Angeles. Hollywood by the Bay is an intensive THREE day forum for screenwriters of all levels. Study and Network with leading screenwriters, producers and literary representatives. Pre Conference sessions, a General Conference session, over 15 ninety minute Specific Topic sessions, individual one-on-ones, Panel Discussions and more at the Hyatt Rickeys, Palo Alto, CA, Sept. 12 - 14.
 
Win this writing grant and you get four to six weeks at the Wye Cottage on the south island of New Zealand, outside of Blenheim in the Wairau Valley.
 
Bush/Cheney 2004 Bumper Stickers

Bush Reloaded
Bush/Cheney '04: Four More Wars!
Bush/Cheney '04: "You're either with us or against us!"
Bush/Cheney '04: Apocalypse Now!
Bush/Cheney '04: Because the truth just isn't good enough.
Bush/Cheney '04: Compassionate Colonialism
Bush/Cheney '04: Deja-voodoo all over again!
Bush/Cheney '04: In your heart, you know they're technically correct.
Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no billionaire behind
Bush/Cheney '04: Lies and videotape but no sex!
Bush/Cheney '04: Making the world a better place, one country at a time.
Bush/Cheney '04: Or else.
Bush/Cheney '04: Over a billion Whoppers served.
Bush/Cheney '04: The last vote you'll ever have to cast.
 
Statistics from Hell
 
The number of Americans murdered in Iraq since May 1: 65. Iraq has 26 million citizens making the average about .5 per day.
 
The number of Americans murdered in Chicago every day: 2. Chicago has 11 million citizens.
 
Chicago is 10 times more dangerous than Iraq.
 
Mr. Conspiracy Says...
 
Hey, you know all those wackos who claimed that AIDS was created by the United States government? This official 1970 Department of Defense Appropriations Bill (PDF format) from the United States Senate Library approves funding for the development of the AIDS virus. Who's wacko now?
 
Don't Take My Word For It
 
"In all the debates over Iraq, we must never forget Iraq."
 
"I remember him as a spoiled kid who tried to control the playground and was in trouble often. You wouldn't call him the school bully because he wasn't tough enough for that. He was more of a control freak."
- Alena Lightfoot: How I remember George W. Bush -
 
"I see a terrible legacy of cruelty reaching new heights and emanating from the inexplicable unwillingness of the American people not to clearly see the true character of events so disastrously unfolding before their eyes. The power of Old Glory waving in the winds of memory, perhaps, keeps so many from seeing so much, from truly believing that those we would venerate and respect could do harm to us - willing, pernicious, lethal harm. And it is precisely this faith in American society - this socially reinforced mythos - that allows rich criminals to get away with what they do, as they hide behind the very trust they exploit."
 
"A legitimate probe of 9/11 - not like the sham that was just perpetrated that didn't address any of the really major questions - would have shed light on the corporate powers that control the media and the White House, and maybe - just maybe - would have taken that large step to show the deluded American populace that we are neither a democracy nor a republic, that we are a corporate-controlled police state whose leaders are savaging their own citizens simply to make more money for themselves and the rich friends who put them in office in the first place."
 
"The War on Terror was never a war in the traditional sense. It is, instead, a kind of brand, an idea that can be easily franchised by any government in the market for an all-purpose opposition cleanser."
- Naomi Klein: A Deadly Franchise -
 
"Russian propaganda was so obvious that most Russians were able to ignore it. They took it for granted that the government operated in its own interests and any message coming from it was probably slanted - and they discounted it. In the West the calculated manipulation of public opinion to serve political and ideological interests is much more covert and therefore much more effective. Its greatest triumph is that we generally don't notice it - or laugh at the notion it even exists."
 
"With her new book Treason, Ann Coulter proves once and for all that a parent having a gay child is something to celebrate compared to having a child who cannot decide whether they are Joe McCarthy or Torquemada in the body of a skeletal blond Christian slut."
 
"Accordingly, throughout the entire year, a person should always look at himself as equally balanced between merit and sin and the world as equally balanced between merit and sin. If he performs one sin, he tips his balance and that of the entire world to the side of guilt and brings destruction upon himself. On the other hand, if he performs one mitzvah, he tips his balance and that of the entire world to the side of merit and brings deliverance and salvation to himself and others."
- Parashat Shofetim: Laws of Repentance 3:4 -
 
"Which nuclear armed country is no longer a signatory of the Non-Proliferation Agreement because of their developing small portable nuclear weapons for battlefield use? Which country is no longer interested in the Biological Weapons Treaty while actively researching new biological weapons?  Which country causes the most CO2 while ignoring the Kyoto Protocol? Which country refuses to recognize the International Court of Justice, and UN backing, while unilaterally invading sovereign states?  The answer to all of these, of course, is the U.S.A."
- Xarvon, alien investigator -
 
    "Take the stomach-turning example of petroleum giant Tosco, which, after donating $70,500 to Gray Davis' 2000 reelection campaign, was allowed to increase the amount of deadly, highly toxic chemicals it dumps into San Francisco Bay.
    "The connection between the donation and the payback couldn't be more obvious -- or more despicable. For 7 years the company, one of California's largest polluters, had tried to get the state water board to relax the pollution limits at its Avon refinery, right here in your own backyard. For 7 years its efforts had failed. Then, on February 17, 2000 -- just one day after the board once again voted down the company's request -- Tosco cut Davis a massive campaign check, 10 times bigger than any previous donation it had given him. Another five figure check followed and, hey, whaddya know, a few months later the water board -- whose members are, not coincidentally, appointed by Davis -- changed its mind and allowed Tosco to boost the amount of deadly Dioxin it could dump into the Bay. In effect, selling out the health of the people of California for an infusion of campaign cash."
 
"Back in April, l989 a [Reverend Billy] Graham memo to Nixon was made public. It took the form of a secret letter from Graham, dated April 15, 1969, drafted after Graham met in Bangkok with missionaries from Vietnam. These men of God said that if the peace talks in Paris were to fail, Nixon should step up the war and bomb the dikes. Such an act, Graham wrote excitedly, 'could overnight destroy the economy of North Vietnam'. Graham lent his imprimatur to this recommendation. Thus the preacher was advocating a policy to the U.S. Commander in Chief that on Nixon's own estimate would have killed a million people."
 
"Advocacy groups from across the political spectrum blasted the U.S. government's proposed air passenger screening program on Monday, calling it a 'quantum leap' in surveillance that violates privacy and civil rights." (No word on whether Scott Bakula will be suing them for using the phrase "Quantum Leap.")
 
    "This writer, who covered the Afghan struggle against Soviet occupation in the 1980s, sees many of the same elements developing in Iraq: tribal and ethnic divisions, a foreign-supported puppet regime with a useless army, an intractable guerrilla war and a great power with overreaching imperial ambition. 
    "Worse for the U.S., Iraq may be emerging - like Afghanistan - as a new, pan-national cause for the Muslim world. Thousands of jihadi volunteers are reportedly slipping into Iraq to battle U.S. troops. They range from youthful idealists to battle-hardened jihadis from other wars and a handful of suicide bombers. Just as the Afghan jihad electrified the Muslim world and helped assuage its feelings of weakness and inferiority, for a new generation Iraq may come to be a passionate struggle against another foreign invader. 
    "President Bush has conveniently provided anti-American militants and fanatics across the Mideast with an ideal target: the U.S. army in Iraq."
 
"The Texan oil billionaire Jean Paul Getty was at the heart of a conspiracy to provide support to Hitler's Germany early in the Second World War, according to newly released intelligence documents. The file links Getty to a shadowy network of financiers who supplied the Nazis with fuel in defiance of a British blockade and accuses him of gathering spies and traitors around him at his fashionable Hotel Pierre in New York."
 
"If Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore were a self-styled artist who soaked his Ten Commandments monument in urine, he might have been allowed to keep it on display in the courthouse and gotten an NEA grant to boot."
- W. James Antle III -
 
"When people across the U.S. find out that Al Qaeda is not linked to Saddam but is in fact a creation of the CIA and that the terrorist warnings are fabricated, the legitimacy of the Bush Administration will tumble like a deck of cards. The perceived enemy will no longer be Saddam, it will be Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Powell, et al."
 
"In the end 9-11 turned out to be a made-for-TV movie, or rather, the basis for one, a shameless propaganda vehicle for our superstar president George W. Bush. The upcoming Showtime feature DC 9/11: Time of Crisis is a signal advance in the instant, ongoing fictionalization of American history, complete with the president fulminating most presidentially against 'tinhorn terrorists,' decisively employing the word problematic in a complete sentence, selling a rationale for preemptive war, and presciently laying out American foreign policy for the next 18 months."
 
"By definition in the bill, almost any American citizen can arbitrarily be designated a terrorist. Section 101 of this act will give the executive branch the power to declare any American a 'foreign power' and therefore not a citizen. Those designated will be exempt from the protections of the Constitution."
 
"The 'Brain Interface Program' is the most lavishly funded of nearly all the DARPA bioengineering efforts (the project has been given $24 million for the next two years). It is aimed at developing ways to 'integrate' soldiers into machines -literally- by wiring them (remotely or directly) to their planes, tanks, or computers. An implantable brain chip is now under development in this sick program, which has already proudly demonstrated how rats can be turned into living robots through the manipulation of stimulus-response signals in the brain via electrodes. The Pentagon hopes to use these pathetic, 'modified' creatures (you should see the photos -makes you want to join People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals!) in mine clearance."
 
"In the midst of the fighting, he noticed that the Americans had called up an oddly configured tank. Then to his amazement the tank suddenly let loose a blinding stream of what seemed like fire and lightning, engulfing a large passenger bus and three automobiles. Within seconds the bus had become semi-molten, sagging 'like a wet rag' as he put it. He said the bus rapidly melted under this withering blast, shrinking until it was a twisted blob about the dimensions of a VW bug. As if that were not bizarre enough, al-Ghazali explicitly describes seeing numerous human bodies shriveled to the size of newborn babies. By the time local street fighting ended that day, he estimates between 500 and 600 soldiers and civilians had been cooked alive as a result of the mysterious tank-mounted device."
 
    "I had a feeling the Inquiry into Dr. David Kelly's death would turn out to be interesting ...but the stupidity of my fellow journalists never ceases to amaze. It's apt I was writing about context yesterday, since the context of Dr. David Kelly's remark that if Britain went to war with Iraq he would probably be 'found dead in the woods' appears to have zoomed right over journalists' heads. The question they should be asking that they are not asking is purely contextual in nature: who else was found dead in the woods?
    "Some may remember the 1984 murder of Hilda Murrell. Some may also remember that after the Hilda Murrell case the phrase 'found dead in the woods' became a euphemism, and virtually an idiom, meaning to be done in by British secret services because of what one knew. So when Dr. David Kelly 'jokingly' remarked that he expected to be 'found dead in the woods' one need look no further than the Hilda Murrell case to know the true context of his remark and what he actually meant."
 
"[It's] like they're asking you to bend over, put your head in the sand, and put a flag in your ass."
- Janeane Garofalo -
 
"I would like to be able to love my country, and justice too."
- Albert Camus -
 
"I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity, can seldom accept even the simplest and most obvious truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity of conclusions which they have delighted in explaining to colleagues, which they have proudly taught to others, and which they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives."
- Leo Tolstoy -
 
"Anyone who has walked down the shady side of a street on a summer's day, found it a bit chilly, and thought to themselves to cross over to the sunny side of the street to enjoy the warmth of the sun has, whether they realize it or not, made a transition from yin to yang. Similarly anyone who has found the sun too intense, too glaring, too sweltering and no longer pleasant to be in and has sought the shade has seen the benefit of a change to yin when yang has become too overbearing."
 
"There is no fire like greed and no crime like hatred. There is no sorrow like being bound to this world; there is no happiness like freedom."
- Buddha: Dhammapada -
 
"Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly."
- His Holiness the Dalai Lama -
 
"Surprise me."
- Bob Hope to his wife when she asked "Where do you want to be buried?" -
 
Everything Else

Mandatory reading: Ted Rall says it's time to get real in Iraq.
 
The Earth Liberation Front is sort of a green al-Queda, doing nasty things for all the right reasons.
 
Can an online magazine succeed in print? Flak is giving it a try.
 
The Holiday Inn is having a towel amnesty day. (They lose 560,000 towels a year.)
 
The Traffic Cone Preservation Society hopes to allow future generations the opportunity to enjoy these magnificent creatures in their natural habitats.
 
Wanna turn your computer into a clock? Here's a cool one.
 
Forget all those stupid card decks, here's a deck of activists who are really doing something.
 
Which president has told the biggest whoppers? Check out The Mendacity Index.
 
Working hard? Paying your taxes? Voting in elections? Embracing the American work ethic? Good. Here's A Note of Appreciation from the Rich.
 

Contact George W. Bush - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Saddam Hussein - press@uruklink.net (might bounce)
Contact Kim Jong Il - eng-info@kcna.co.jp
Contact Jacques Chirac - france-presse@un.int
Contact the Pope - accreditamenti@pressva.va
Embassy of France in the US: 202-944-6000
German Embassy in the US: 202-298-4000
Embassy of the Russian Federation: 202-298-5700
Embassy of the People's Republic of China: 202-328-2500
White House switchboard: (202) 456-1414
Contact your Senator -
http://www.senate.gov/senators/senator_by_state.cfm
Contact your Representative -
http://www.house.gov/house/MemberWWW.html
House and Senate switchboard: (202) 224-3121
Links to Central Government Agencies - http://www.firstgov.gov/
 
 
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Boo hoo
I can't afford any pot
because none of you bastards are
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Acknowledgment

dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's fair use.

Thanks,

Satan



http://www.disinfotainmenttoday.com

disinfotainment@earthlink.net
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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'TBH Politoons'

Click Here!



Thanks, again, Tim!

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Selected Readings

from that Mad Cat, JD

GOVERNOR GANG BANG

GROOVY

COULD IT BE?

TAKE TWO REPUGS AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING

AND THE WINNER IS.....

AND SHIT DOESN'T STINK

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from Mark

Another Bumpersticker

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In The Chaos Household

Last Night

Lovely weather, real big page.



Tonight, , CBS starts the night with a FRESH 'big Brother 4', followed by a FRESH 'Cupid', then a RERUN 'Judging Amy'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Craig Kilborn and Kings of Leon.
On a RERUN Craiggers are Leanne Tweeden and Sugar Ray.

NBC opens the night with a RERUN 'Frasier', followed by another RERUN 'Frasier', then yet another RERUN 'Frasier', followed by a RERUN 'Good Morning, Miami', then a RERUN 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jay are Ellen DeGeneres, Jamie Kennedy, and the Allman Brothers.
Scheduled on a FRESH Coann are Jennifer Connelly, Amy Sedaris, and Huey Lewis & the News.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Colin Quinn, Anderson Cooper, and A.R.E. Weapons.

ABC begins the evening with a RERUN '8 Simple Rules', followed by a RERUN 'Bonnie', then a RERUN 'Jim', followed by a RERUN 'Less Than Perfect', then a RERUN 'NYPD Blue'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Jim Belushi, Dianne Farr, and 311, with this week's guest co-host Mr. T.

The WB offers a RERUN 'Gilmore Girls', followed by 'Smallville'.

Faux has a FRESH 'Performing Ass.....', followed by a FRESH 'The O.C.'.

UPN has a RERUN 'One On One', followed by another RERUN 'One On One', then a RERUN 'Buffy'.

A&E has 'Biography' (Calvin Klein), 'MI-5', and 'Cold Case Files'.

AMC offers the movie 'The Untouchables', followed by the movie 'The Quiet Man', then the movie 'Donovan's Reef'.

BBC  -    [6pm] 'BBC World News';    [6:30pm] 'Talking Movies' - August 28 - September 2, 2003;    [7pm] 'Ground Force' - Locklease;    [7:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Glasgow;    [8pm] 'When Changing Rooms Met the Navy';    [9pm] 'Ground Force America' - Queens;    [10pm] 'Ground Force America' - Behind the Scenes;    [11pm] 'So Graham Norton' - Ricki Lake/ Nathan Lane;    [11:30pm] 'So Graham Norton' - Elton John;    [12am] 'Ground Force America' - Queens;    [1am] 'Ground Force America' - Behind the Scenes;    [2am] 'When Changing Rooms Met the Navy';    [3am] 'So Graham Norton' - Ricki Lake/ Nathan Lane;    [3:30am] 'So Graham Norton' - Elton John;    [4am] 'Ground Force America' - Queens;    [5am] 'Ground Force America' - Behind the Scenes;    and   [6am] 'BBC World News'.    (ALL TIMES EDT)

Bravo has 'West Wing', 'Boy Meets Boy', another 'Boy Meets Boy', and 'West Wing', again.

On a RERUNJon Stewart it's a RERUN - TBA.

History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Deep Sea Detectives', 'Modern Marvels', and another 'Modern Marvels'.

SciFi has 'Miracles', another 'Miracles', then 'Powers of the Paranormal: Live On Stage!'.

TCM  -   [6am] 'Gangway for Tomorrow' (1943);    [7:30am] 'The Iron Major' (1943);    [9am] 'The Woman On The Beach' (1947);    [10:30am] 'Return Of The Badmen' (1948);    [12pm] 'Best Of The Badmen' (1951);    [1:30pm] 'On Dangerous Ground' (1951);    [3pm] 'Grounds For Marriage' (1950);    [4:30pm] 'The Reformer And The Redhead' (1950);    [6pm] 'Battle Circus' (1953);    [8pm] 'Hotel Berlin' (1945);    [10pm] 'The Man I Love' (1946);    [12am] 'The Beast With Five Fingers' (1946);    [1:30am] 'Shadow Of A Woman' (1946);    [3am] 'My Wild Irish Rose' (1947);    and   [5am] 'No Place To Go' (1939).    (ALL TIMES EDT)


Wednesday  -  9/03

[6am] 'MGM Parade Show #18' (1955);    [6:30am] 'The Lusty Men' (1952);    [8:30am] 'They Won't Believe Me' (1947);    [10am] 'Smash-Up, the Story of a Woman' (1947);    [12pm] 'Tokyo Joe' (1949);    [1:30pm] 'Chain Lightning' (1950);    [3:15pm] 'The Glass Key' (1942);    [4:45pm] 'Joan Of Paris' (1942);    [6:30pm] 'The Badlanders' (1958);    [8pm] 'North By Northwest' (1959);    [10:30pm] 'The Deadly Affair' (1966) [12:30am] 'East Side, West Side' (1949) [2:30am] 'Gun Law' (1938);    [3:30am] 'Parnell' (1937);    and   [5:30am] 'Festival of Shorts #24' (2000).    (ALL TIMES EDT)



Anyone have any opinions?

Or reviews?



(See below for addresses)

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Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., marches up Eastern Parkway during the West Indian day parade Monday Sept. 1, 2003, in New York.
Photo by Mary Altaffer

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The Information One-Stop

Moose & Squirrel

Moose & Squirrel Information One-Stop

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Silence Is Deafening

Hollywood Celebrities

Celebrities, even those who normally aren't shy about speaking out when it comes to politics, have so far kept quiet about the highest-profile movie star to enter a California governor's race since Ronald Reagan.

"That's the question everybody is asking. Where is Hollywood?" said Bob Dowling, publisher and editor in chief of The Hollywood Reporter, one of the industry's leading trade publications.

He and other industry observers speculate that there could be a good reason for that: Many of Hollywood's most outspoken celebrities are liberal Democrats but at the same time are friends and colleagues of the moderate Republican Schwarzenegger.

Although a handful of celebrities have gone public, even their comments have been muted. Actor Rob Lowe, who had been involved in Democratic causes in the past, announced early on that he had signed on to Schwarzenegger's bid to replace Gov. Gray Davis if he is recalled Oct. 7. He has said little since then, however, and declined to be interviewed for this story.

For a lot more, Hollywood Celebrities

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Thanks, Carbon42!

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Nets Record $60.5M

Jerry Lewis Telethon

The Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon received a record $60.5 million in nationwide pledges during its annual fund-raising drive for the Muscular Dystrophy Association.

The 77-year-old Lewis, his body bloated due to steroid medication he takes for pulmonary fibrosis, was assisted during the 21 1/2-hour fund-raiser by Ed McMahon and performances from a number of entertainers, including Cher, Celine Dion and Don Rickles.

Originating from CBS Television City in Los Angeles, the telethon pledges received through Monday broke last year's record of $58.3 million, telethon spokeswoman Carol Sowell said Monday. The 38th annual broadcast was shown on about 200 television stations.

Jerry Lewis Telethon

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London's Globe Theater

Shakespeare

Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles were treated to an evening of Shakespeare at London's Globe Theater on Monday, with a star-studded cast.

Gwyneth Paltrow reunited with her "Shakespeare In Love" movie co-star, Joseph Fiennes, as they performed the balcony scene from "Romeo and Juliet."

Veteran actors Paul Scofield and Timothy West presented an excerpt from "The Tempest," while Diana Rigg performed one from "As You Like It."

Shakespeare

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Placards marking spots for nominees are attached to chairs during rehearsals for the Latin Grammy Awards show in Miami September 1, 2003. In lower right, a placard for the popular singer Thalia, of Mexico, is shown on the front row for the show, scheduled for Sept. 3 in Miami.
Photo by Daniel Aguilar

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Headlines Paintball Event

William Shatner

Actor William Shatner, seeking to raise money for an annual horse show for disabled children, headlined a paintball tournament that included at least 2,000 registered participants.

Shatner, 72, who starred as Captain Kirk in the "Star Trek" films, said the proceeds of Sunday's tournament will go toward his Hollywood Charity Horse Show, an annual event that showcases accomplished riders.

"Well, why not paintball?" Shatner said. "This is fun, so people will come, and it's for charity."

William Shatner

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Awarded Golden Lion

Dino De Laurentiis

Italian-born movie producing giant Dino De Laurentiis has been around longer than the Venice Film Festival itself and it is finally awarding him a Golden Lion for a lifetime of achievement.

De Laurentiis helped revive Italian postwar cinema with the likes of Federico Fellini and then headed to Hollywood where he introduced moviegoers to a characters such as King Kong and the cannibal serial killer Hannibal Lecter.

But the moviemaking legend says his most significant picture has been "Serpico," the 1973 movie starring Al Pacino as a New York cop who fights corruption on the force, which launched his producing career in the United States.

Dino De Laurentiis

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Apologizes for Spears-Madonna Photo

Atlanta Journal-Constitution

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution apologized to readers Monday for using a picture of Britney Spears kissing Madonna on the front page.

The picture, not much bigger than a postage stamp, was near the top of Friday's front page. It showed Spears and Madonna in an open-mouth kiss they shared at the MTV Video Music Awards the night before. A larger version of the picture was in the Living section.

The sloppy kiss picture elicited a deluge of complaints to the newspaper. In Monday's editions, managing editor Hank Klibanoff apologized, saying the picture should have been inside but not on the front page.

Atlanta Journal-Constitution

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In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends

bartcook

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Shocks British Press

David Blaine

American illusionist David Blaine shocked a group of journalists Monday when he appeared to cut off part of his ear at a news conference to promote a forthcoming stunt.

He left the room holding a bloodied handkerchief to his ear before reappearing and walking past journalists with his ear and the top of his shirt covered with what appeared to be blood.

The event was aimed at publicizing Blaine's next major feat on Sept. 5, when he will be suspended in a clear plexi-glass case by the River Thames in London for 44 days.

David Blaine

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Medicinal cannabis is measured into a container in a pharmacy in Rotterdam, September 1, 2003. The Netherlands became the world's first country to make cannabis available as a prescription drug in pharmacies to treat cancer, HIV and multiple sclerosis patients, the Health Ministry said. Photo by Guido Benschop/Reuters prescription drug in pharmacies to treat cancer, HIV and multiple sclerosis patients, the Health Ministry said.

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Not a Big Film Lover

Harrison Ford

Harrison Ford said what really annoys him are lies about his private life that he says are printed in tabloid newspapers and celebrity magazines around the world.

In Berlin, Ford said he was sad to hear of the death of tough-guy actor Charles Bronson, a veteran of more than 60 films. But he said he did not know much about Bronson.

"I'm not a big movie fan so I don't go often to the movies," Ford said. "The films he was most well-known for were not really my cup of tea."

Harrison Ford

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Plans Cash, Beatles Screenings

Museum of Television and Radio

Johnny Cash and the Beatles are the latest music icons to get special screening exhibitions at the Museum of Television and Radio (MTR) in New York and Los Angeles.

Cash will be the subject of a career retrospective series, titled "Hello, I'm Johnny Cash." It will run Oct. 3, 2003-Jan. 25, 2004, and will focus on Cash's TV appearances and music videos.

Meanwhile, to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the Beatles' first appearance on U.S. TV, the MTR will present an exclusive Beatles exhibit Feb. 6-April 30, 2004.

Museum of Television and Radio

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Formerly 'The Vidiot'

pissed

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Film Booed at Venice Festival

'Imagining Argentina'

"Imagining Argentina," a new feature by acclaimed theater and film director Christopher Hampton about the military dictatorship in Argentina, brought jeers and heated debate to the Venice Film Festival Monday.

Not only did its star, Spanish heart-throb Antonio Banderas, announce last minute that he would not be able to make it to the world's oldest cinema competition, but the movie itself was booed at a preview showing late Sunday.

It focuses on a central character called Carlos Rueda, played by Banderas, and his search for his journalist wife, portrayed by British actress Emma Thompson, after she is abducted from their home.

After her disappearance, Rueda discovers he has psychic powers that allow him to see what is happening to political prisoners and he starts holding seances in his garden to relay the tales to loved ones.

For more, 'Imagining Argentina'

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Indian Hindu devotees carry an idol of elephant-headed god Ganesh, one of the most revered Hindu deities, in Bombay August 31, 2003. Indian police guarded temples and patrolled the streets of the city on Sunday as thousands of Hindus offered prayers at the start of a holy festival, one of the most popular religious festivals in western India, days after the city was rocked by twin car-bomb blast.
Photo by Roy Madhur

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PBS Film Tackles Era

Hollywood Blacklist

Hollywood's blacklist ended 40 years ago, but its notoriety simply will not die.

Now the U.S. PBS public television service is offering the two-hour "American Masters" documentary "Arthur Miller, Elia Kazan and the Blacklist: None Without Sin," airing Wednesday in the United States.

Documentarian Michael Epstein said his film stemmed from the awarding of an honorary Oscar in 1999 to Kazan. It caused an uproar of protests because he had named names of his fellow Communist Party members before the House Un-American Activities Committee in 1952. Kazan won Academy Awards for directing "Gentleman's Agreement" and "On the Waterfront."

"One of the unexpected voices that was supportive of the honorary Oscar was Arthur Miller," Epstein commented. He pointed out that Kazan and Miller had been considered "soul mates," Kazan having directed the Miller plays "All My Sons" and "Death of a Salesman."

Miller had not been a communist, but he refused to tell congressional red hunters the names of those who were. Kazan's testimony ended their friendship.

For the rest, Hollywood Blacklist

www.pbs.org

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Schools Fire Bodyguards

Snoop Dogg

The Inglewood city school board has voted to fire eight part-time school police officers, including four who were moonlighting as bodyguards for rapper Snoop Dogg when an unknown gunman shot at his convoy in April.

About a third of the 32 full-time and reserve Inglewood Unified School District officers have guarded Snoop Dogg, a convicted felon whose real name is Calvin Broadus. Their bodyguard jobs came under scrutiny after several were detained when police and federal agents pulled over vehicles that dropped Snoop Dogg off at the BET Awards in June. Authorities confiscated drugs and weapons from the vehicles, which included an armored van.

Snoop Dogg

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Festival Returns to Dust

Burning Man

Artists, spiritualists and old hippies at the annual counterculture Burning Man festival decamped from their temporary desert community following a peaceful gathering marred by a series of accidents.

A record 30,500 people turned some of the nation's remotest real estate into a hedonistic utopia where everything is recycled and where drugs, clothes and inhibitions are optional.

The creation and destruction of what for a time was Nevada's seventh largest city was part of the annual ritual that evolved from a spontaneous San Francisco beach celebration of the 1986 summer solstice.

That year, an 8-foot wooden effigy was burned. The one ignited late Saturday towered eight stories: a 40-foot stylized wooden man highlighted in blue neon, atop a 40-foot-tall Aztec-style wood and canvas pyramid.

Burning Man

www.burningman.com

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A two week-old cheetah cub ventures out of its cage at the Nairobi Animal Orphanage at the Kenya Wildlife Service headquarters, September 1, 2003. This cub, one of three cubs that were found wandering around without their parents at Kenya's Tsavo East national park, is being cared for at the center.
Photo by Patrick Olum

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"The Ark of Darkness", a Political/Science-Fiction online novel.

'Ark of Darkness'





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