Issue #104
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
Action star Jackie Chan receives a gift from two children after briefing reporters in Hong Kong on Monday, May 10, 2004, about his recent trip to Cambodia as a U.N. goodwill ambassador. The Hong Kong star said he was so shaken up about the land mine problem in Cambodia that he dreamt about digging them up for about a week after his visit.
Jury president, U.S. director Quentin Tarantino holds a film clapper upon arrival at Nice international airport, May 10, 2004. Tarantino arrived to Cannes on Monday to attend the 57th International Film Festival which will start on May 12, 2004.
American movie star John Travolta, right, laughs along with Jetstar chief executive Alan Joyce, center, while Australian actress Magda Szubanski mocks her desire for Travolta during the unveiling of the budget airline's first plane in Sydney, Monday, May 10, 2004. Jetstar, owned by Qantas, will begin commercial flights May 25 offering Australia its second low cost airline along with Virgin Blue.
U.S Coast Guard and other boats wait to assist the Alaska Marine Highway System's ferry LeConte as it sits aground on a reef in Peril Strait about 30 miles north of Sitka, Alaska, Monday, May 10, 2004. The ferry ran aground about 10 A.M., Monday with 86 passengers and 26 crew aboard. Three people were taken to Sitka for medical treatment the rest were safely evacuated. A number of Good Samarian boats including guide boats from Angoon and a nearby tug responded to the vessel. A Coast Guard cutter repair and assist team was dispatched to stop the flow of water and perform emergency repairs to the ferry.
Newly born Bennett's wallaby twins (Macropus rufogriseus) peer out of the pocket of their mother at the Thoiry Zoo, 60 kilometers (38 miles) west of Paris, Friday, May 7, 2004. The rare birth, discovered a few days ago by animal caretakers, were born a few months ago and feed from their mother's teats at the bottom of the pocket, developing inside it for a few months. As a single youth becomes independent at 9 or 10 months, the twins are due to get out within a month time.
Second Anniversary Issue!
Issue #104
is brought to you by
Writing
The Destroyed Tapes of the Air Traffic Controllers on 9/11
Several air traffic controllers who handled two of the hijacked flights on Sept. 11, 2001 recorded their experiences shortly after the planes crashed into the World Trade Center. Seems a supervisor recently destroyed the tape, claiming he never listened to it and that he didn't think anyone else would want to. He had asked the controllers to make the recordings a few hours after the crashes in belief they would be important for law enforcement. Turns out he was right. Disinfotainment Today has obtained a portion of the tape...
Hissing noise...
Air Traffic Controller #1: These POM bottles make pretty good bongs.
Air Traffic Controller #2: Don't call them bongs, call them water pipes.
Air Traffic Controller #1: Why?
Air Traffic Controller #2: Bongs are illegal. Water pipes are legal.
Air Traffic Controller #1: What about gravity bongs?
Air Traffic Controller #2: Does it have the word "bong" in it?
Air Traffic Controller #1: Yeah.
Air Traffic Controller #2: Then it's illegal.
Air Traffic Controller #1: But it's made out of common household items!
Air Traffic Controller #2: Like what?
Air Traffic Controller #1: You just cut the top off a two liter [unintelligible], fill it with water, then cut the bottom off a one liter [unintelligible], then you glue the tops of the screwtops together so it becomes a pipe that you screw back into the bottle.
Air Traffic Controller #2: Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not following you. How is that a pipe?
Air Traffic Controller #1: You just cover it with tin foil and poke holes in it.
Air Traffic Controller #2: Good, because I mean the plastic would melt and that would be really screwed up.
Air Traffic Controller #1: That's why you use tin foil. You push the one liter [unintelligible] down into the water in the two liter [unintelligible],
Air Traffic Controller #2: What was that?
Air Traffic Controller #1: [unintelligible]
Air Traffic Controller #2: That's what I thought you said.
Air Traffic Controller #1: Anyhoo, then you light the bud while pulling the [unintelligible] Pepsi bottle out of the [unintelligible]. Pepsi bottle. The one liter [unintelligible] acts like your lungs and fills with smoke, then you just unscrew the top, put your lips around it, push it back into the water, and inhale.
Air Traffic Controller #2: Wow.
Air Traffic Controller #1: It'll knock you on your ass.
Air Traffic Controller #2: I bet.
Air Traffic Controller #1: Shit, you got that Ozone spray? Here comes Fred.
Air Traffic Controller #2: Act like you're working...
Disney Refuses to Distribute Disinfotainment Today
"If Michael Moore can create an artificial controversy about the release of his film Fahrenheit 911, I see no reason why I can't create an artificial controversy about the distribution of Disinfotainment Today," said Disinfotainment Today publisher Michael Dare, who seems to have no problem quoting himself.
"It's an outrage," he continued. "How can I keep referring to myself in the third person?"
"This will not stand," Mr. Dare replied to himself. "Just because Disney never intended on distributing Disinfotainment Today in the first place doesn't mean they won't be held accountable."
How to Get Famous
United States Private Lynndie England went from total obscurity to having her picture seen by everybody on earth. Way to go Lynndie! Can a mini-series be far behind? Andy Warhol congratulates you and looks forward to painting you when you meet him at the 47th level of hell.
or
Get Death Threats for Drawing a Cartoon!
Are soldiers in Iraq idiots, saps, or heroes? I don't know. Let's kill the bastard asking the question, but first...
"Never mentioned is the possibility that Pat Tillman was murdered by militant Islamic warriors trained by the CIA at Camp Peary, Virginia, also known as the 'Farm' (see Giles Foden, Blowback chronicles, the Guardian, September 15, 2001). Instead of attributing Tillman's death to blowback and failed policies, the Bushites wasted little time elevating the misguided and brainwashed football star's 'patriotism' to mythical proportions and, unfortunately, they have cynically exploited it as an example of selfless 'sacrifice' in the 'war on terrorism,' in other words the neocon war against Islam in the name of Israel, oil, neoliberalism, and corporate carpetbaggerism."
- Kurt Nimmo: The CIA Killed Pat Tillman -
Amaze and Astound Your Friends
"The only difference between the Vietnam War and the War in Iraq
is that the body counts on all the networks during the Vietnam war
weren't brought to you by boner pills."
- Insert your name here for $
5, $4, $3, $2,, $1 (see PayPal link below) - 
Mr. Conspiracy Says...
They wanted the pictures released. You know they did. They produced 'em, they distributed 'em, it's all part of the plan.
You might be thinking that when any inconvenient brown or yellow or black people on the rest of the planet saw the pictures of what we were doing to the Iraqis, they were supposed to be thinking "That's what happens when you mess with America? Oh no, I don't want that happening to me. Please, America, I be good. Just tell me what you want. I's tremblin' in my boots."
You'd be wrong.
Bush's ratings soared after 9/11. He wants his ratings to soar again. He needs another terrorist attack before the upcoming election. The release of the photos of tortured Iraqi prisoners is very clearly an invitation to attack. The myth would be that Bin Laden can only see those photos and say to himself hmmm, if the world trade centers didn't stop the infidels from THIS, my next caper better be HUGE.
Tomorrow's news is already written. They're composing our future right now. If I were the screenwriter working for the Bush Family Evil Empire charged with constructing the plot points in the scenario that would guarantee Jr.'s re-un-election, regardless of the cost, I'd have a big bomb go off somewhere in America very soon, and I'd have us reel in the perps just before November.
Makes no difference anyway because a meteor is coming.
Republican National Committee Convention Schedule
in New York, New York
6:00 PM -- Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM -- Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM -- Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM -- Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM -- Seminar #1 Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM -- First Presidential Beer Bong Water Pipe
7:35 PM -- Serve Freedom Fries with extra catsup
7:40 PM -- EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.
8:00 PM -- Vote on which country to invade next8:05 PM -- Debut gameshow "Humiliation"
8:10 PM -- Pope issues clemency to all priests and contributors to CREEP
8:15 PM -- John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children8:20 PM -- Debut gameshow "Spank the Darky"
8:30 PM -- Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 PM -- Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future
9:00 PM -- Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM -- Second Presidential Beer Bong Water Pipe
9:10 PM -- EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM -- Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM -- Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM -- Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM -- Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM -- Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare.
10:40 PM -- John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM -- Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 PM -- Third Presidential Beer Bong Water Pipe
10:50 PM -- Seminar #3 Education: a drain on our nation's economy.
11:10 PM -- Hilary Piata
11:20 PM -- Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous new cult11:25 PM -- Free amphetamines
11:30 PM -- Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM -- Blame Clinton
11:40 PM -- Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM -- Closing Prayer led by Jesus who does magic trick (M&Ms fall through the holes in his hands)
12: 00PM -- Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord
- ThuhBull improved -
Internet Doohickeys of the Week
Okay, by now you know about Burger King's very strange promo site, Subservient Chicken, where you type in commands and a guy in a chicken suit does whatever you ask. How did they get a guy to do that all day, you may very well be wondering? They didn't. It's program that understands a list of commands and plays clips that create the illusion of a webcam. Here's a list of all the commands with the corresponding clips.
Then go to Imagination and watch your cursor freak out.
Short Quotes
"inhumane"
- Donald Rumsfeld -
"abuse"
- Oprah Winfrey -
"marriage"
- George W. Bush -
"terrorists"
- Dick Cheney -
"people"
- Barbra Streisand -
Interesting Shit
Today, three companies own 60 percent of all the hogs in America. They do it in factory farms, or, CAFOs (Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations). Every hog produces ten times as much feces as a human being. A single CAFO in Utah is home to 850,000 hogs, producing as much shit as New York City. New York City has 14 sewage treatment plants. CAFOs have none.
When the lagoons (shit holding ponds) overflow, the shit is sprayed into the air over Bermuda grass. It makes the grass so toxic that it will kill any animal that eats it. The sprayed shit (or any that has seeped through the polyethylene liner) then seeps into the groundwater, into the air, and into rivers and streams.
Since 1995, in North Carolina, a microscopic organism, the pfiesteria piscicida has caused millions of fish each year to die and given fishermen bloody lesions and cognitive impairment. This previously unknown life form was spawned in the pig shit basins and carried into the Neuse river.
Defenders of CAFOs say it brings economy of scale and drives down the price of meat to consumers. This is true only as long as you don't factor in the shit. If the waste were disposed of legally the cost of pork from factory farms would be higher than pork from family farms.
Toward the end of Clinton's administration, the EPA issued stringent new CAFO regulations requiring hog factories to take responsibility for their waste and initiating suits against some of the biggest violators. When Bush took office, his appointees gutted the regulations. Eric Schaeffer, head of enforcement for the EPA, resigned in disgust when the administration cut a deal granting immunity to factory farm polluters.
Vote Bush, the pro-shit administration.
Watch The Meatrix
Juvenile Picture of the Week
Satan Doesn't Want to Remind You
Most people believe that it's the clear underside of the CD that is fragile, when in fact it's the side with the label. Scratches on the underside have to be fairly deep to cause skipping, while scratches on the top can easily penetrate to the aluminum layer. Even the pressure of a pen on the label side can dent the aluminum, rendering the CD unreadable.
History Lesson from Hell
Back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico.
But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great that they declared a National Day of Mourning which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
Internet Rumor of the Week
George W. Bush wrote a letter to John Hinckley telling him that John Kerry is screwing Jodie Foster.
Given recent events at Abu Ghraib prison, and calls from family members and army personnel alike, the following guidelines have been distributed to all military police and personnel involved in prisoner detention and interrogation. It has become evident that proper instruction and guidelines have been lacking. The following directives are intended to rectify this oversight.
Please read these directives carefully, and refer any questions or concerns you may have to your commanding officer. Prisoners are for detention, not for play.
Sincerely, Major General Geoffrey Miller, Deputy Commander for Containment Operations, Iraq.
Rules regarding personnel conduct during prisoner detention and interrogation:
-Go to Michael Nickerson for the rest of the rules -
Song of the Week
Noam Chomsky
Sung to the tune of "Tomorrow" from the Broadway show "Annie"
Noam Chomsky
Noam Chomsky
I luv's yuh
Noam Chomsky
You're only a dream away
Media Blitz
Fox's counter-programming against Ted Koppel's listing of the war dead was a list of war accomplishments that ran 10 minutes long.
Statistics from Hell
In the year 2000, African-American men had white wives 2.65 times more often than black women had white husbands. In other words, in 73% of black-white couples, the husband was black. For every 1,000 black women who were married, there were 1,059 black married men. Asian women had white husbands 3.08 times more often than Asian men had white wives. That means just over 75% of white-Asian couples featured a white husband and Asian wife. For every 1,000 Asian women with husbands, only 860 Asian men had wives.
- UPI -
"If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head almost nothing."
- Marc Chagall -
"Every day that we wake up is a good day. Every breath that we take is filled with hope for a better day. Every word that we speak is a chance to change what is bad into something good. We aren't slaves... This nation is at least a potential democracy. We need to wake up from this walking nightmare and realize that the sun is shining."
- Walter Moseley: What Next: A Memoir Toward World Peace -
"In 1854 Florence Nightingale took 38 women to Turkey to nurse wounded and sick British soldiers in the Crimean War. This was the first time the government had allowed women to do this. Almost all modern nursing systems and techniques we know today can be traced back to her. She suffered from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) for the rest of her life. She became not only the first modern war nurse and nurse commander but its first documented psychological casualty. I got interested in her story through my work with Vietnam War nurses. Some of what I have learned so far I have organized into a timeline of her life."- Country Joe McDonald -
"The ignorance of how to use new knowledge stockpiles exponentially."
- Marshall McLuhan -
"Because we acted, torture chambers are closed."
- Dubya -
"Guantanamo is 'legitimate' because the base is on Cuban soil, but not an Embassy, and not recognizing Castro's Cuba it becomes for the American government a playpen where the Constitution does not apply -- the Guantanamo torture camps ( where the CIA also can run drug operations 'not illegally') enjoys 'lawless' status in American legal eyes, a place where habeas corpus does not apply. However if Cuba's government and laws were recognized, Guantanamo would be impossible."
- Dick Eastman -
"It's with a mother's pride that I'm writing you today to ask you to support our eldest, George W., and his re-election campaign with a donation of $1000, $500, $250, $100 or $50. The President has accomplished a lot in the past three and half years but there is much more he would like to accomplish. He will continue to help strength our homeland defense and lay a strong groundwork to win the War on Terrorism. He has put forward plans to save Social Security, secure pension plans and enhance retirement security for all Americans. And he has a comprehensive energy plan to make America less dependent on foreign oil."
- Barbara Bush -
"Whether Republicans like it or not, if George Bush is elected in the fall, the entire world will view the election as American approval of the torture and sexual humiliation of prisoners at the Abu Ghraib prison. It might not be fair, it might not be reasonable, but it is nevertheless reality. Apologies, prosecutions, firings and courts martial will not be enough to expunge the stain this scandal has placed on the honor of the United States. The pictures are simply too graphic. The abuses are simply too horrible. If George Bush is elected President, the entire world will view the election, at a minimum, as tacit approval of these events."
- The Daily Brew: We Are All Wearing the Blue Dress Now -
"At this point, a vote for Bush is a character flaw."
- Janeane Garafalo -
"Be who you are and say what you feel cause people who mind don't
matter, and people who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss -
"You do not become a 'dissident' just because you decide one day to take up this most unusual career. You are thrown into it by your personal sense of responsibility, combined with a complex set of external circumstances. You are cast out of the existing structures and placed in a position of conflict with them. It begins as an attempt to do your work well, and ends with being branded an enemy of society."
- Vaclav Havel -
"We are all capable of believing things which we know to be untrue, and then, when we are finally proved wrong, impudently twisting the facts so as to show that we were right. Intellectually, it is possible to carry on this process for an indefinite time: the only check on it is that sooner or later a false belief bumps up against solid reality, usually on a battlefield."
- Orwell -
"Here are my favorite nuggets that have come out of the mouths of their spinmeisters (roughly quoted): 'Michael Moore has known for a year that we will not distribute this movie, so this is not news.' Yes, that is what I thought, too, except Disney kept sending us all that money to make the movie. Miramax said there was no problem. I got the idea that everything was fine."
- Michael Moore -
"We call upon members of the Armed Forces to refuse to torture prisoners in violation of International Law. Refuse to obey illegal orders. Refuse to commit atrocities against an innocent population. Join with the people of the world and take action now to stop the war, and do everything within your power to resist and expose the crimes being committed by the U.S. government. We offer our support and solidarity to all who choose to follow their conscience and take action.
"Both U.S. and international law make it clear that members of the military are obligated to refuse to obey illegal orders. Orders to engage in torture, or to attack civilian targets, for example, are illegal. Soldiers are obligated to disobey these orders and to report those that give the orders."
"No enlistment contract will excuse you from your right and obligation to follow the dictates of your conscience. No oath will excuse criminal acts committed against innocent people. History will condemn George W. Bush as a liar and murderer, who was willing to cause the deaths of thousands of people for the profit of Wall Street. Will you stand with the war criminal Bush or will you choose to stand with the millions of people who oppose his fantasies of global empire? Don't let those monsters in Washington DC turn you into something less than human. Don't let them deceive and pressure you into committing acts that will haunt you the rest of your life. Turn against the war criminals and take a stand with humanity."
- Dustin Langley: GI counselor and organizer with SNAFU (Support Network for an Armed Forces Union -
"The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making excuses, that's the day you start your move to the top."
- O. J. Simpson -
"Mars - there's got to be a cheaper way to get him a photo op in a space suit."- Bill Maher -
Everything Else
Can't get enough of them there Bushes? Check out First Twins, the unofficial site of Jenna and Barbara, and learn about their pre-emptive strikes against the legal drinking age.
As if you needed another acronym to remember, International A.N.S.W.E.R. (Act Now to Stop War & End Racism) has downloadable PDF brochures containing facts about Iraq that will convince even the most hard-core warmonger that perhaps things are going a bit awry.
Freecycle is the opposite of e-Bay. It lists things people are giving away and all you have to do is go pick them up.
Media Matters for America documents and corrects conservative misinformation in each news cycle. They monitor cable and broadcast news channels, print media and talk radio, as well as marginal, right-wing websites that often serve as original sources of misinformation for well-known conservative and mainstream media outlets.
What happens when you put good people in an evil place? Does humanity win over evil, or does evil triumph? The behavior of our prison guards in Iraq was predicted years ago by the Stanford Prison Experiment.
You think we only torture and murder Iraqis? We do it everywhere. Canadian Broadcasting Corporation produced a documentary showing the mass murder of 3000 Afghani prisoners during that OTHER invasion. It's 50 megs and Marc Perkel has posted it here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Contact George W. Bush - president@whitehouse.govContact Jeb Bush - jeb.bush@myflorida.com
Contact Saddam Hussein - president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Kim Jong Il - eng-info@kcna.co.jp
Contact Jacques Chirac - france-presse@un.int
Contact the Pope - accreditamenti@pressva.va
Contact the Democratic Candidates: Wesley Clark, Howard Dean, John Edwards, Dick Gephardt, Bob Graham, John Kerry, Dennis Kucinich, Joe Lieberman, Carol Moseley Braun, Al SharptonEmbassy of France in the US: 202-944-6000
German Embassy in the US: 202-298-4000
Embassy of the Russian Federation: 202-298-5700
Embassy of the People's Republic of China: 202-328-2500
White House switchboard: (202) 456-1414
Contact your Senator - http://www.senate.gov/senators/senator_by_state.cfm
Contact your Representative - http://www.house.gov/house/MemberWWW.html
House and Senate switchboard: (202) 224-3121
Links to Central Government Agencies - http://www.firstgov.gov/
Mordechai Vanunu
c/o Cathedral Church of St. George
20 Nablus Road
PO Box 19018
Jerusalem 91190
Israel
Don't let this happen to you.
so I can buy a CD burner
and produce a disk
containing every single issue of Disinfotainment Today,
an instant collector's item,
and I'll give you one.
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either satire or fair use.
Thanks,
Amelia Barfup
---,_,----
/ \
/ \ Visit http://www.disinfotainmenttoday.com
( )
/ _/----\_ \ _ .---
/ '/ \` \ _________/ |__--'@/
/ / . \ \ (__PAN AM/__|__===
/ /| |\ \
/ / | | \ \ Or I'll crash this plane
/ /`_/_ _\_'\ \ into Barbara Bush!
/ '/ ( . )( . ) \ `\
<_ ' `--`___'`___'--' ` _>
/ ' @ @/ =\@ @ ` \
/ / @@( , )@@ \ \
/ / @@| o o|@@ \ \
' / @@@@@@@@ \
'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Reader Link
Sick Of This Crap!
Happy Mother's Day! While each of us celebrates the never-ending sacred duties of Moms everywhere, Sickofthiscrap.com takes special notice of American foreign policy, the mother of global resentment and the ultimate underminer of our war on what-ever-we-feel-like-invading-in-the-name-of-terror.
Sick Of This Crap!
Thanks, Rummy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
THE MAN WITH A CONSCIENCE
DON'T GET SICK IN AMERICA
"THIS IS A BIG DEAL"
REALLY MICKEY MOUSE
OUR SORRY ASSES ARE GETTING KICKED
AND THE CHIMP DIDN'T KNOW
THE BUSH CIRCLE OF HELL
THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING CLINTONS
FAILURE!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Still sunny & breezy.
Jo the (lucky) lizard molted again.
Tonight, Tuesday:
'Jeopardy', from Washington, DC, with their 'Power Player' version, offers Anderson Cooper, Maria Bartiromo, and
Kweisi Mfume.
CBS begins the night with a FRESH 'Navy NCIS', followed by the FRESH 'Dick Van Dyke Show Revisited', then a
FRESH 'Judging Amy'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are David Hyde Pierce and David Byrne.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Bill Russell and Guy Pearce.
NBC opens the night with a RERUN 'Frasier', followed by another RERUN 'Frasier', then a 1-hour
'Dateline' (where the cast of 'Frasier' is fellated), followed by a FRESH 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Leno are Pamela Anderson, Lance Burton, and Clay Aiken.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Eric Bana and Sondre Lerche.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Kate Beckinsale, Mila Kunis, and Johnathan Rice.
ABC starts the night with a FRESH '8 Simple Rules', followed by a RERUN '8 Simple Rules', then a
FRESH 'Jim', followed by a FRESH 'Less Than Perfect', then the Season Finale 'NYPD Blue'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Shannon Elizabeth and Lionel Richie.
The WB offers a FRESH 'Gilmore Girls', followed by a FRESH 'One Tree Hill'.
Faux has a FRESH 'American Idol', followed by a FRESH '24' (Day 3: 10am - 11am).
UPN has a FRESH 'One On One', followed by a FRESH 'All Of Us', then a FRESH 'America's Next Top Model'.
Check local PBS listings for a FRESH 'Nova'.
A&E has 'American Justice', 'Biography' (Wayne Newton), and a 2-hour 'Cold Case Files'.
AMC offers the movie 'Urban Cowboy', followed by the movie 'The Grifters', then the movie 'Jaws 2'.
BBC -
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Kitching;
[7pm] 'House Invaders' - Carlton;
[7:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Barges;
[8pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Mottingham;
[8:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Chinnor;
[9pm] 'What Not to Wear' - Mick Brown;
[9:30pm] 'What Not to Wear' - Sue Young;
[10pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Pile;
[11pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Mottingham;
[11:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Chinnor;
[12am] 'What Not to Wear' - Mick Brown;
[12:30am] 'What Not to Wear' - Sue Young;
[1am] 'Cash in the Attic' - Pile;
[2am] 'House Invaders' - Carlton;
[2:30am] 'Changing Rooms' - Barges;
[3am] 'Changing Rooms' - Mottingham;
[3:30am] 'Changing Rooms' - Chinnor;
[4am] 'What Not to Wear' - Mick Brown;
[4:30am] 'What Not to Wear' - Sue Young;
[5am] 'Cash in the Attic' - Pile;
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has 'West Wing', 'Queer Eye', 'Showbiz Moms & Dads', and another 'Queer Eye'.
Comedy Central has 'MAD TV', 'Crank Yankers', 'Insomniac', 'South Park', 'Chappelle's Show', and another 'Chappelle's Show'.
Jon Stewart is Tim Russert.
History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Deep Sea Detectives', 'Tactical To Practical', and 'Wild West Tech'.
IFC -
[6AM] 'Escape From New York' (1981);
[7:45AM] 'At The Angelika 84' (2004);
[8:15AM] 'Sam The Man' (2000);
[10AM] 'Felicia's Journey' (1999);
[12PM] 'IFC Short Film Collection II';
[2PM] 'The Color Of Paradise' (1999);
[3:30PM] 'At The Angelika 84' (2004);
[4PM] 'Sam The Man' (2000);
[5:30PM] 'Wild Man Blues' (1998);
[7:30PM] 'American Buffalo' (1996);
[9PM] 'Dinner For Five 26' (2003);
[9:30PM] 'Rocked With Gina Gershon - Episode 5' (2003);
[10PM] 'On The Run' (1999);
[11:45PM] 'Two Family House' (2000);
[1:45AM] 'Escape From New York' (1981);
[3:30AM] 'On The Run' (1999);
[5:15AM] Short: 'Bet';
[5:45AM] 'IFC In Theaters'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
SciFi has the movie 'The 13th WArrior', followed by the movie 'Kull the Conqueror'.
Sundance -
[4:35AM] 'Dear Fidel - Marita's Story' (Documentary);
[6:15AM] 'The Hill' (Short);
[6:30AM] 'A Place Called Chiapas' (Documentary);
[8:10AM] 'Lucky Break' (Feature);
[10AM] 'The Sharktank Redemption' (Short);
[10:30AM] 'Divorce, Iranian Style' (Documentary);
[12PM] 'Her Israel' (Documentary);
[1PM] 'The Truth About Tully' (Feature);
[2:50PM] 'The Hill' (Short);
[3:05PM] 'When the War is Over' (Feature);
[4PM] 'Unfinished Symphony' (Feature);
[5PM] 'Wish You Were Here' (Feature);
[6:35PM] 'The Sharktank Redemption' (Short);
[7PM] 'Lucky Break' (Feature);
[9PM] 'Anatomy Of A Scene: The Clearing' (Original Production);
[9:30PM] 'Washington Heights' (Feature);
[11PM] 'Mutant Aliens' (Feature);
[12:25AM] 'el Octavo dia La Creacion' (Short);
[12:45AM] 'Beso Nocturno' (Short);
[1AM] 'The Rachel Papers' (Feature);
[2:40AM] 'Gamblin' (Short);
[3AM] 'Nora' (Feature);
[4:45AM] 'Unfinished Symphony' (Feature);
[5:45AM] 'Bamboleho' (Short). (ALL TIMES EDT)
TCM:
[6am] 'The Yellow Canary' (1943);
[7:30am] 'Murder She Said' (1961);
[9am] 'Murder At The Gallop' (1963);
[10:30am] 'The Alphabet Murders' (1965);
[12:15pm] 'Angel Face' (1953);
[2pm] 'Murder On The Waterfront' (1943);
[3pm] 'The Murder Man' (1935);
[4:15pm] 'Murder In The Private Car' (1934);
[5:30pm] 'Murder By An Aristocrat' (1936);
[6:30pm] 'Murder on a Honeymoon' (1935);
[8pm] 'The Good Earth' (1937);
[10:30pm] 'An American in Paris' (1951);
[12:30am] 'Anchors Aweigh' (1945);
[3am] 'The Yearling' (1946);
[5:15am] 'The Thin Man' (1934). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Wednesday - 05/12
TCM pays tribute all morning & afternoon to
Katharine Hepburn, who was born on this day in 1907.
[7am] 'The Little Minister' (1934);
[9am] 'Break of Hearts' (1935);
[10:30am] 'Christopher Strong' (1933);
[12pm] 'A Woman Rebels' (1936);
[1:30pm] 'Mary of Scotland' (1936);
[3:45pm] 'The Sea Of Grass' (1947);
[6pm] 'Pat And Mike' (1952);
[8pm] 'A Star Is Born' (1937);
[10pm] 'Stagecoach' (1939);
[12am] 'Why Worry?' (1923) SILENT ;
[1:15am] 'The Cheat' (1915) SILENT ;
[2:30am] 'The Loved One' (1965);
[4:45 am] 'White Zombie' (1932). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
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Photo by Lo Sai-hung
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Moose & Squirrel Information One-Stop
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Policy Wonks Play For Charity
'Jeopardy'
Things learned while observing a day's worth of taping of "Celebrity
Jeopardy!" with a bunch of wonks, talkers and other media types the show
labels as Washington's "power players":
Maria Bartiromo has trouble differentiating between a golf club and a
golf tee under pressure (but okay, okay, she did know that Tiger Woods
makes the most money on the PGA Tour).
Tucker Carlson is disturbingly well versed in things related to
"homemaking," like dust bunnies and Brillo pads.
But let's cut to the chase . . . we really, really, really wish we could
tell you some of the truly stupid answers (or, if you want to get
technical about it, questions) these folks came up with. But, alas, we
are not allowed. That violates all rules of "Jeopardy!" Can't reveal the
outcome. That would make us very, very bad. Can't, say, tell you which
prominent journalist finished with a big fat $0, to the great amusement
of his or her colleagues. Or who stank so badly -- finishing "Double
Jeopardy" in the red -- that he or she had to get special "Celebrity
Jeopardy!" dispensation just to participate in the final round. Or what
entire panel of celebrity guests was disturbingly uninformed about
Senate history.
For the rest, 'Jeopardy'
Thanks, Jim K!
Irks Israelis
Daniel Barenboim
Controversial conductor Daniel Barenboim angered Israeli officials Sunday when he criticized the country's occupation of the West Bank and Gaza as he accepted a prestigious Israeli award.
In his acceptance speech for the Wolf Prize at Israel's parliament, Barenboim said Israel's policy toward the Palestinians contradicted the humanist values on which the state was founded in 1948.
"Can a situation of occupation and control of another people be reconciled with (Israel's) declaration of independence," he said. "Is there logic to the independence of one people at the cost of a blow to the basic human rights of another people?"
Daniel Barenboim
Photo by Eric Gaillard
Back on Campaign
'Tanner '88'
Fact and fiction on the campaign trail will blur just as they did 16 years ago, when the "Tanner '88" team reunites for fresh satire on this year's presidential race.
The limited series, not yet titled, will reunite "Tanner '88" co-creators, director Robert Altman and "Doonesbury" creator Garry Trudeau, as well as cast members Michael Murphy, Cynthia Nixon, Pamela Reed and Matt Malloy. It will air in October on the Sundance Channel, the cable network announced Monday.
The new three-part series centers on Tanner's daughter Alex (Nixon), now a filmmaker seeking funding for a documentary about what it takes to run for president and the toll it takes on those who lose.
'Tanner '88'
U.S. Marshals Sued
Quack, Quack
Two media companies and two of their reporters accused the U.S. Marshals Service in a lawsuit on Monday of violating their constitutional rights by confiscating recording devices during a speech by U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and erasing his remarks.
Antoinette Konz, who works with the Gannett newspaper the Hattiesburg American, and Denise Grones, who works with the Associated Press, were covering Scalia's appearance at a high school in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, on April 7 for a talk on the U.S. Constitution.
U.S. Deputy Marshal Melanie Rube demanded they turn over their tape recorder and digital recorder, Gannett said in a statement. The reporters received their equipment back after Scalia's comments were erased.
Quack, Quack
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Honorary Degrees
Bee Gees
The University of Manchester said Monday it was awarding honorary degrees to Robin and Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees, as well as a posthumous honor for their brother Maurice.
The awards will be presented to the two Gibb brothers during a ceremony at the university on Wednesday. They will also accept a degree for their brother, who died in January 2003, from Chancellor Anna Ford.
Bee Gees
Photo by Rick Rycroft
Wedding News
Beckinsale & Wiseman
Actress Kate Beckinsale and "Underworld" director Len Wiseman were married in a small weekend ceremony at the lush Bel-Air Hotel.
The couple recited wedding vows Sunday in what publicist Troy Nankin described as an "intimate" ceremony. Beckinsale wore a Vera Wang gown, Nankin said Monday. No other details were released.
Beckinsale & Wiseman
Violated Probation
Tom Sizemore
Actor Tom Sizemore has violated the terms of probation imposed for abusing ex-girlfriend and former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss, a prosecutor said Monday.
Prosecutors allege that Sizemore "tested dirty" for drugs in early March, according to defense attorney Mark Werksman, who filed a response under seal Monday.
Sizemore is currently in Canada shooting a new police television series, Werksman said. The 42-year-old actor has been tapped to play Pete Rose in an upcoming made-for-television movie called "Hustle."
Tom Sizemore
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
pissed
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Pleads Guilty to DUI
Glen Campbell
Country music singer Glen Campbell pleaded guilty Monday to extreme driving under the influence and leaving the scene of an accident.
Under the plea agreement in Maricopa County Superior Court, Campbell was sentenced to 10 days in jail. He'll be eligible for work furlow after 48 hours and will serve 75 hours of community service.
An aggravated assault charge was dropped.
Glen Campbell
Photo by Al Grillo
Not Paying Bills
Don Johnson
An Aspen grocery store has accused actor Don Johnson of leaving an unpaid bill of $5,470, according to court records.
Other Aspen businesses also are suing the "Miami Vice" and "Nash Bridges" star in Pitkin County Court for outstanding bills. A list of creditors in a bankruptcy petition include $7,345 from Aspen Valley Hospital, $1,228 from Isberian Rug Co., $1,688 from Holy Cross Energy and $2,787 from Garfield & Hecht law firm.
Johnson, 54, filed for bankruptcy protection last month to secure his Woody Creek ranch and stave off a lender's attempt to auction his home.
Don Johnson
Teams With Fox Sports
MSN
Microsoft Corp.'s MSN online division is teaming with Fox Sports to create a cobranded sports Web site and is ending a similar partnership with ESPN.
The multiyear agreement with Fox Sports, announced Thursday, will put Redmond, Wash.-based Microsoft in charge of selling advertising for the new sports Web site. But initially at least, the new site won't be significantly different from Fox Sports' current Web site, said Lisa Gurry, director of MSN.
The two companies hope to eventually make broad changes, including making the site more personalized for individual users, she said. For example, a user who is a New York Yankees fan would automatically be offered deals on Yankees tickets, besides being able to choose Yankees video snippets or alerts for the latest Yankees game scores.
MSN
2004 Tony Award
List of Nominees
BEST PLAY: Anna in the Tropics, Frozen, I Am My Own Wife, The Retreat From Moscow.
BEST MUSICAL: Avenue Q, The Boy From Oz, Caroline, or Change, Wicked.
BEST BOOK OF A MUSICAL: Winnie Holzman, Wicked; Tony Kushner, Caroline, or Change; book, Martin Sherman and original book, Nick Enright, The Boy From Oz; Jeff Whitty, Avenue Q.
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE (Music and/or Lyrics): Taboo, Boy George (music); Avenue Q, Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx (music); Wicked, Stephen Schwartz (music); Caroline, or Change, Jeanine Tesori (music), Tony Kushner (lyrics).
BEST REVIVAL OF A PLAY: Henry IV, Jumpers, King Lear, A Raisin in the Sun.
BEST REVIVAL OF A MUSICAL: Assassins, Big River, Fiddler on the Roof, Wonderful Town.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A LEADING ACTOR IN A PLAY: Simon Russell Beale, Jumpers; Kevin Kline, Henry IV; Frank Langella, Match; Jefferson Mays, I Am My Own Wife; Christopher Plummer, King Lear.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A LEADING ACTRESS IN A PLAY: Eileen Atkins, The Retreat From Moscow; Tovah Feldshuh, Golda's Balcony; Anne Heche, Twentieth Century; Swoosie Kurtz, Frozen; Phylicia Rashad, A Raisin in the Sun.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A LEADING ACTOR IN A MUSICAL: Hunter Foster, Little Shop of Horrors, Hugh Jackman, The Boy From Oz, Alfred Molina, Fiddler on the Roof, Euan Morton, Taboo, John Tartaglia, Avenue Q.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A LEADING ACTRESS IN A MUSICAL: Kristin Chenoweth, Wicked; Stephanie D'Abruzzo, Avenue Q; Idina Menzel, Wicked; Donna Murphy, Wonderful Town; Tonya Pinkins, Caroline, or Change.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A FEATURED ACTOR IN A PLAY: Tom Aldredge, Twentieth Century; Ben Chaplin, The Retreat From Moscow; Aidan Gillen, The Caretaker; Omar Metwally, Sixteen Wounded; BrDian F. O'Byrne, Frozen.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A FEATURED ACTRESS IN A PLAY: Essie Davis, Jumpers; Sanaa Lathan, A Raisin in the Sun; Margo Martindale, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof; Audra McDonald, A Raisin in the Sun; Daphne Rubin-Vega, Anna in the Tropics.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A FEATURED ACTOR IN A MUSICAL: John Cariani, Fiddler on the Roof; Michael Cerveris, Assassins; RaDul Esparza, Taboo; Michael McElroy, Big River; Denis O'Hare, Assassins.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY A FEATURED ACTRESS IN A MUSICAL: Beth Fowler, The Boy From Oz; Isabel Keating, The Boy From Oz; Anika Noni Rose, Caroline, or Change; Jennifer Westfeldt, Wonderful Town; Karen Ziemba, Never Gonna Dance.
BEST SCENIC DESIGN: Robert Brill, Assassins; Ralph Funicello, Henry IV; Eugene Lee, Wicked; Tom Pye, Fiddler on the Roof.
BEST COSTUME DESIGN: Jess Goldstein, Henry IV; Susan Hilferty, Wicked; Mike Nicholls and Bobby Pearce, Taboo; Mark Thompson, Bombay Dreams.
BEST LIGHTING DESIGN: Jules Fisher and Peggy Eisenhauer, Assassins; Brian MacDevitt, Fiddler on the Roof; Brian MacDevitt, Henry IV; Kenneth Posner, Wicked.
BEST DIRECTION OF A PLAY: Doug Hughes, Frozen; Moises Kaufman, I Am My Own Wife; David Leveaux, Jumpers; Jack O'Brien, Henry IV.
BEST DIRECTION OF A MUSICAL: Joe Mantello, Assassins; Kathleen Marshall, Wonderful Town; Jason Moore, Avenue Q; George C. Wolfe, Caroline, or Change.
BEST CHOREOGRAPHY: Waolfe, Caroline, or Change.
BEST CHOREOGRAPHY: Wayne Cilento, Wicked; Kathleen Marshall, Wonderful Town; Jerry Mitchell, Never Gonna Dance; Anthony Van Laast and Farah Khan, Bombay Dreams.
BEST ORCHESTRATIONS: Paul Bogaev, Bombay Dreams; William David Brohn, Wicked; Larry Hochman, Fiddler on the Roof; Michael Starobin, Assassins.
SPECIAL TONY AWARD FOR LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT IN THE THEATRE: James M. Nederlander.
REGIONAL THEATRE TONY AWARD: Cincinnati Playhouse in the Park.
List of Nominees
Photo by Michel Euler
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 5
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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PersephonePlus
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Custom Kaleidoscopes by Ed the "BearMan"
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Media Matters
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Take Back The Media!
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Blah 3
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The Slab
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What Really Happened
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The Iraq Page
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Today In Iraq
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I'm Not Sorry
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Progressive Spirit Blog
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TrimmedBush
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Raw Story
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George W. Bush for President 2004
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Who served?
The Chickenhawk Database
Congressional Members with Military Service
Who Died and Made You President? :: The Bean Magazine
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100 Most Banned Books
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Welcome !
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Go ahead, scratch it if it itches.
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