"A country's identity, its value and civilization resides in its history. If a country's civilization is looted, as ours has been here, its history ends. Please tell this to President Bush. Please remind him that he promised to liberate the Iraqi people, but that this is not a liberation, this is a humiliation."
"This war, replete with the Court-appointed Bush administration's self-conscious attempts to make, and go down in history, will now be remembered as the war that ended history. The war in which humanity's most precious artifacts were stolen from under the noses of the instigators of the war. In a city they claimed to control, George W. Bush is now guaranteed a prime spot in history, that's for sure. His handlers pictured him becoming the hero of the soundbitten era of cable news and all-war, all-the-time history stations. He has transcended all that. W is now resides in the annals of mankind as the warmongering oaf who was in such a rush to commence hostilities that he failed to safeguard humanity's most precious antiquities. The court-appointed president will forever be remembered as the asshole who created the diversion that facilitated the largest art and antiquity heist in history. An indelible blot marks America's name in the history of nations. It will last as long as there is history."
Websites showing the missing antiquities...
"So I just want to say thank you daddy, and thanks in particular for leaving Saddam Hussein in power. I can't wait. This is going to be fun. We're going to totally fuck up the middle east so that everyone has to get their oil from us. Hoo boy, are we going to make a lot of money."
As a concerned American citizen, I apologize to President Bush because my remark was disrespectful. I now realize that whoever holds that office should be treated with the utmost respect.
I hope everyone understands, I'm just a young girl who grew up in Texas. As far back as I can remember, I heard people say they were ashamed of President Clinton. I saw bumper stickers calling him everything from a pothead to a murderer. I heard people on the radio and TV like Rush Limbaugh, Pat Robertson, Newt Gingrich and Trent Lott bad mouthing the President and ridiculing his wife and daughter at every opportunity.
But now, thanks to the thousands of angry people who want radio stations to boycott our music because criticizing the President is unpatriotic, I realize it's wrong to have a liberal opinion if you're a country music artist. I guess I should have thought about that before deciding to play music that attracts hypocritical red necks.
I also realize now that I'm supposed to just sing and look cute so our fans won't have anything to upset them while they're cheating on their wives or getting in drunken bar fights or driving around in their pickup trucks shooting highway signs and small animals.
And most important of all, I realize that it's wrong for a celebrity to voice a political opinion, unless they're Charlie Daniels, Clint Black, Merle Haggard, Barbara Mandrell, Loretta Lynn, Ricky Skaggs, Travis Tritt, Hank Williams Jr, Amy Grant, Larry Gatlin, Crystal Gayle, Reba McEntire, Lee Greenwood, Lorrie Morgan, Anita Bryant, Mike Oldfield, Ted Nugent, Wayne Newton, Dick Clark, Jay Leno, Drew Carey, Dixie Carter, Victoria Jackson, Charleton Heston, Fred Thompson, Ben Stein, Bruce Willis, Kevin Costner, Arnold Schwartzenegger, Bo Derek, Rick Schroeder, George Will, Pat Buchanan, Bill O'Reilly, Joe Rogan, Delta Burke, Robert Conrad or Jesse Ventura.
"Did I read this scene in Catch-22? Surely, the BBC man was being ferociously ironic. I doubt it, just as I doubt that whoever designed the Observer's page three last Sunday had Joseph Heller in mind when he wrote the weasel headline: "The moment young Omar discovered the price of war". These cowardly words accompanied a photograph of an American marine reaching out to comfort 15-year-old Omar, having just participated in the mass murder of his father, mother, two sisters and brother during the unprovoked invasion of their homeland, in breach of the most basic law of civilised peoples."
"Extending the war into Iraq would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq. The coalition would instantly have collapsed, the Arabs deserting in anger and other allies pulling out as well. Exceeding the U.N.'s mandate would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the U.S. could still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land."
"It also gives us a very special, secret pleasure to see how unaware the people around us are of what is really happening to them."
Quiz from Hell
a) Iraqi forces began putting up resistance to the US Marines 1st Expeditionary Force attacking the Diyala River bridges early Wednesday, April 9. Suddenly at around 11 am, the Iraqi fighters vanished as one man. Clearly, someone had ordered them to give way without blowing up the bridges, a repetition of what has happened more than once since the war began. The Marines were thus able to go forward unopposed until they reached Baghdad's town center. Where'd they go?
b) The Diyala River defenders were not the only Iraqi fighters to become invisible. Where is the Iraqi army's 25th Division? Where are all Saddam's ministers, his generals? How come after 21 days of warfare, the coalition has not exhibited a single Iraqi army commander taken captive?
c) Why has not a single senior officer in charge of weapons of mass destruction been caught – or come over? Why has no large-scale frontal battle been fought?
d) Why did American forces fire on the Russian embassy convoy leaving Baghdad for Moscow by way of Damascus on Sunday, April 6? The convoy led by Ambassador Vladimir Titorenko was deliberately attacked. Yet Wednesday, April 9, the ambassador was back at his post in Baghdad, in time to witness the way Baghdad citizens welcomed US Marines. Suddenly the Kremlin's evacuation order was rescinded. His rapid return could only have been accomplished by a special flight. The question is what – or who - was the Russian convoy conveying under diplomatic cover out of Baghdad that was important enough for an ambassadorial escort all the way to Moscow? As soon as the "package" was delivered, Titorenko turned round and returned.
e) Why did the regular Iraqi Army refuse to put up a fight?
f) Where is all the abandoned equipment to account for Saddam's key elite forces?
g) How could so many Iraqi men have simply vanished? News reports try to say that soldiers simply discarded uniforms to blend into the citizenry, and while some of this did occur, no one has reported picking up over 300,000 Iraqi uniforms.
h) Why did Saddam's forces not use some of the very potent conventional weapons the Russians and Chinese so amply provide?
i) Where were the thousands of shoulder-fired anti-aircraft weapons that were expected to challenge Coalition fighter-bombers and helicopters? President Reagan supplied the Afghan resistance fighters with our Stinger anti-aircraft shoulder-fired missiles; with this weapon, the Taliban took out so many Russian bombers and helicopters that the Russians never did establish overwhelming air superiority. Why did the Iraqi Army never utilize these weapons? They had them, but did not use them.
j) Where were the potent Russian-made anti-tank weapons? When they were used, as in Basra, they were effective, but they never were used in enough instances to make a battlefield difference.
k) Where were the many aircraft Saddam spent good money on, preparing them for a fight with the Americans? We noticed, early in the first week, that Saddam's airplanes were a "No Show". Since we issued that report, other news services have run similar stories. Even if they could not hope to sweep American fighters from the skies, they could have inflicted some damage in battle before being shot down.
l) Where were Saddam's several thousand attack HIND helicopters? I never saw a news report that indicated these attack choppers were ever used. Why not? Why spend good money on advanced weapons systems if you never intend to use them?
HINT: Beneath the heavily exposed surface battles, a fierce secret war is raging in the subterranean tunnels linking Saddam's four of five command and control fortress-bunkers spread out under the Baghdad region.
DEBKAfiles sources reveal that US Special forces are locked in hand to hand combat with Special Republican Guards and Saddams Fedayeen commanded by Uday Hussein. All that we know about the battle of the tunnels for the moment is that American forces uncovered two or three secret entrances to the underground labyrinth two of them at the international airport of Baghdad after its capture. At least one of those entrances led to a broad underground highway system with roads some 12 meters wide through which two armored personnel carriers can pass each other comfortably. Some of these passageways are designed as blind alleys to lead interlopers astray; the ones leading to the command and control bunker-fortresses are guarded by Iraqi commandos.
SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION FOR THOSE CELEBRATING THE "LIBERATION" OF BAGHDAD: Does the orgasm justify the rape?
History Lessons from Hell
With all the bad things he's done, why should the Iraqi people feel any gratitude or loyalty to President Saddam Hussein? You would not know it from anything that has been written in the U.S. or British media, but there are
very good reasons. (Hint: Women don't have to wear burkhas like they do in Saudi Arabia, thanks to Hussein)
Everything Else
The
top 30 Bush lies about Iraq.
Are we going to bring democracy to Iraq? We sure didn't bring it to
Afghanistan.
Contact George W. Bush -
president@whitehouse.gov
Contact Saddam Hussein -
press@uruklink.net
Contact Kim Jong Il:
eng-info@kcna.co.jp
Contact Jacques Chirac -
france-presse@un.int
Don't let this happen to you.
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY archives are
here.
Dr. Hollywood archives are
here.
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's
fair use.
Thanks,
Satan
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form.
It is made entirely by slave labor.
Unless you think I deserve to get
paid.
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'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
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Reader Suggested Reading
from that Mad Cat, JD
Thanks, JD!
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In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Cold, rainy day.
Even though there was no recess at school today, the kid still managed to take the knee out of another pair of pants.
Easter dinner plans are shaping up quite nicely. The Fish Lady will be joining us, as well as some of the 'bachelor boys'.
Tonight, Tuesday, CBS is supposed to open the evening with a RERUN 'JAG', followed by a RERUN
'The Guardian', then a FRESH 'Judging Amy', where they say good bye to Richard Crenna.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Tom Brokaw, Tom Russell, and Nanci Griffith.
On a RERUN Craiggers are Eric Idle, Laura Elena Harring, and Dishwalla.
NBC is supposed to start the night with a FRESH 'special' - 'The Museum Of TV & Radio Special: Great Women of TV Comedy', followed by the
Season Premiere of 'Watching Ellie', and then 'Dateline'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jay are Dustin Hoffman, Chris Matthews, and Maria McKee.
On a RERUN Conan are Lisa Kudrow, Dondre T. Whitfield, and the Roots.
On a RERUN Carson Daly (from 2/12/03), are Scott Foley and Jon Spencer Blues Explosion.
ABC is supposed to begin the evening with a RERUN '8 Simple Rules', followed by a RERUN 'Jim', which is
followed by another RERUN 'Jim', then a FRESH 'Lost At Home', followed by a FRESH 'NYPD Blue'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Mila Kunis, Adam Carolla, Andrew Antone, and this week's guest co-host Deion Sanders.
The WB offers a FRESH 'Gilmore Girls',followed by a FRESH 'Smallville'.
Faux has a FRESH 'American Idol', followed by a FRESH '24' (Day 2: 2am - 3am).
UPN has a FRESH 'Buffy', then a FRESH 'Platinum'.
Check local PBS for part 2 of 'Avoiding Armageddon'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
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Former President Bill Clinton speaks to a convention of the Laborer's International Union of North America, Monday, April 14, 2003, in Las Vegas.
Photo by Joe Cavaretta
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Take Back The Media!
Musical Guest: KMFDM
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A Timely Return
Smothers Brothers
Those Democratic Party Brahmins who are out trying to round up liberal voices to take up the fight against conservatives in the talk radio and TV spin wars might want to check out the Smothers Brothers show next month when the duo heads to Sin City for a monthlong stand at the Las Vegas Hilton.
Not that Tom Smothers, 66, and his brother Dick, 64, have ever really gone away. They have consistently made a living at their gently whimsical brand of music and comedy for 44 years running and continue to play upwards of 100 dates a year. But there have been unmistakable signs that -- with the nation embroiled in a military conflict in a faraway land -- the boys are becoming especially relevant again.
It started in December with the acclaimed Bravo documentary "Smothered," which recounted their tumultuous journey on network television back in the late 1960s. (It was released on DVD in January.) They've been doing the TV talk show circuit, and they launch a four-week headlining gig at the Las Vegas Hilton on May 6. And there's talk of a deal to package uncensored episodes of their landmark CBS variety series "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour" on video.
It was, of course, on that groundbreaking 1967-69 CBS series that they rocketed to prominence. Their benign appearance and mild manner belied an edgy, topical sensibility that perfectly dovetailed with the tumult of the late 1960s. The hour grew into a somewhat unwitting mouthpiece for the Vietnam antiwar movement, with establishment CBS caught in the middle.
And now, as war and free speech issues again rage, here come Tom and Dick -- once more, with feeling.
"The war kind of fell into our laps in the '60s, and now it is again," Tom Smothers says. "It's feeling like 1968 all over again. People are questioning the patriotism and Americanism of those who speak out. We all suddenly have to watch what we say."
Certainly, the brothers' opposition to the war remains in peak form.
"How ludicrous it is for us to be bombing Iraq," says Dick Smothers, the self-styled more conservative of the brothers. "Those are beautiful people in that country who happen to have a (expletive) government. So we're going to accidentally kill a lot of them as punishment."
"Maybe it's an antiquated notion, but Dickie and I still feel it's our job to question power and authority," Tom Smothers says. "We're proud of the way celebrities like Michael Moore, Bill Maher, George Carlin, Martin Sheen and others have gotten up to speak their mind and jeopardize their careers with their beliefs. It takes great courage to do what these men are doing. And every one of them is as informed as any of the (expletive) talking heads they have on these cable shows who bash celebrity while ignoring their own."
Smothers Brothers
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The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
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Bangladeshis carry colorful masks during a rally ringing in the Bengali new year in Dhaka on April 14, 2003. 'Pahela Baishakh', the first day of the first month of the Bengali calendar, is being observed all over Bangladesh on Monday with festivities and fanfare.
Photo by Rafiqur Rahman
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Ratings Have Plunged
'The Practice'
David Kelley went onto the set of "The Practice" to explain to the cast and crew that the script titled "Goodbye" might be the show's last episode. Ratings have plunged since ABC moved the drama from Sunday to Monday night, and network brass might ask Kelley to accept a reduction at upcoming contract talks in how much it pays for the show. "David Kelley wrote a script that could serve as both a season and series finale - if needed," his spokeswoman, Stacey Luchs said. "While it is true that David did in fact visit the set of 'The Practice' once the script was distributed, he did so to 'pre-empt' any concerns that the cast and crew members might have, given the script's title, 'Goodbye.' " Sources said the script has Bobby, the main character played by Dylan McDermott, quitting the firm and leaving his wife. Kelley might be more focused on the CBS pilot he's developing, "The Brotherhood of Poland, New Hampshire," starring Randy Quaid as one of three brothers.
'The Practice'
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Releases Remix of 'Walking on Thin Ice'
Yoko Ono
Yoko Ono may not fit the stereotype of a typical dance music artist, but she likes the fact that anything goes when it comes to dance music.
Seventy-year-old Ono's song, "Walking On Thin Ice," from the "Double Fantasy" album, has been remixed and the single is in the top ten of the dance music charts. Ono says when she heard the remixes, she was so touched she cried. It was the song she and former husband John Lennon had been working on the night that he was shot in New York City in 1980.
Yoko Ono goes by just Ono on the track, and she says it's her way of confronting all those people who see her and joke, "Oh no!"
Yoko Ono
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In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
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Hopes For Writing Career
Freddie Prinze Jr.
Freddie Prinze Jr. says he plans to stop acting eventually to pursue a writing career.
"I'm going to stop acting in the next few years because it's just too weird," Prinze says in the April 19 issue of TV Guide. "You have to constantly be willing to live in a scary, emotional place, which is why actors are in therapy all the time."
In the future, he plans to turn his efforts to writing and has already written one episode of the TV series "Mutant X" that will air this month.
Freddie Prinze Jr.
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Taiwan minature artist Chen Frong-shean displays his latest art work called 'six pandas in an eye of a needle' in Taipei on April 14, 2003. The 0.7 millimetre resin pandas took Chen four months to complete.
Photo by Simon Kwong
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Playboy's August Covergirl
Blu Cantrell
R&B diva Blu Cantrell is baring her all again - but this time with class. Cantrell, who got in trouble for appearing in a raunchy "Black Tail" spread while struggling to break into the music business, is going to be Playboy's covergirl for the August issue. A source close to the deal says the magazine shelled out "nearly $1 million" for the diva to pose and that she's "showing everything."
Blu Cantrell
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Hospital Update
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield has been taken off a respirator following brain surgery and his first request to doctors was to tune in to talk show host Jerry Springer, Dangerfield's agent said on Monday.
Dangerfield, 81, underwent the risky procedure -- intended to improve the blood flow to his brain -- a week ago at UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles as a prelude to a heart valve replacement scheduled for next week.
He spent the week following the surgery in an intensive care unit, and was "smiling and elated" to be breathing on his own, his publicist Kevin Sasaki said on Monday.
Since his surgery, Dangerfield has received good wishes from his own fans, including fellow comedians Jay Leno and Jim Carrey, Sasaki said. Doctors expect to move Dangerfield to a private room by the end of the week, Sasaki said.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Formerly 'The Vidiot'
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First Lesbian Kiss On Daytime TV
'All My Children'
Daytime television viewers -- considered to be among America's most conservative audiences -- will see their first on-screen lesbian kiss next week, ABC television said on Monday.
The kiss will take place during the April 22 episode of the Emmy-award winning soap opera "All My Children," making what ABC said would be a first in the world of daytime television.
It comes in a scene featuring gay teen character Bianca Montgomery (Eden Riegel), who came out as a lesbian in 2000, and her new friend Lena (Olga Sosnovska) who "in a moment of truth and true love ... comes to terms with her feelings."
'All My Children'
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Carnival Cruise Lines' Ecstasy arrives at its new Long Beach, Calif., terminal Monday, April 14, 2003. Carnival Corporation, the Miami-based parent company of Carnival Cruise Lines and five other brands, spent $40 million to transform the geodesic dome into a modern cruise facility and construct a new docking pier. The terminal is to the left of the Queen Mary and once housed Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose airplane.
Photo by Andy Newman
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Wedding News
Dennis Rodman
Dennis Rodman is getting married again. The retired NBA star, who posed in a wedding dress for a Trivial Pursuit promotion, will tie the knot with Michelle Moyer on May 13 in Newport Beach, Calif. "It is his birthday - he did it so he never forgets his wedding anniversary," Rodman's manager, Darren Prince, said. The couple have two kids together. Here's hoping this marriage lasts longer than the Worm's nine-day venture with Carmen Electra several years ago.
Dennis Rodman
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Facing Felony DUI Charge
Robert Conrad
The California Highway Patrol will recommend a felony charge against Robert Conrad after the actor crashed head-on into another vehicle two weeks ago, seriously injuring the driver, police said Monday.
Conrad, best known for his roles in "Baa Baa Black Sheep" and "The Wild Wild West," had been arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol after the March 31 crash on Highway 4 near Arnold.
Police would not release details of Conrad's blood-alcohol test, but said Monday the results will warrant the felony charge of driving under the influence with injury to another person.
Robert Conrad
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Denies Link To 'Big Lurch'
Suge Knight
Hip hop mogul Suge Knight said on Monday he has never met an aspiring rapper charged with a grisly Los Angeles murder, as the lawyer who filed a wrongful death lawsuit linking the two conceded that the facts of the case had been thrown into doubt.
Antron Singleton, a Texas-born rapper also known by the stage name "Big Lurch," is awaiting trial on murder and torture charges and faces the death penalty if convicted of killing his roommate and eating part of her lung in April 2002.
On Friday, the victim's mother, Carolyn Stinson, filed a wrongful death lawsuit in Los Angeles Superior Court against Knight's Death Row Records, two individuals named as employees and a second company identified as Stress Free.
The lawsuit alleged that the record labels had provided Singleton with drugs, including PCP, and encouraged him to "act out in an extreme violent manner to make him more marketable as a 'Gangsta Rap' artist."
That culminated, the lawsuit charged, in the murder of Tynisha Ysais, 21, who was found in her southeast Los Angeles apartment with teeth marks on her face and on pieces of her lung, which had been torn from her chest.
Singleton was arrested on a nearby street after police found him staggering naked, apparently dazed and covered in blood.
Suge Knight
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Lorikeets flock to five-year-old Kyle Rouse of at the Lorikeet Encounter inside Butterfly World in Coconut Creek, Fla., in this April 2003 photo.
Photo by Rick Sammon
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'Ark of Darkness'
"The Ark of Darkness", a Political/Science-Fiction work, tells the tale of a frightening journey into the last place anyone would want to be left behind, Hell.
Set in the present day, a biblical researcher and former astronaut discovers, via satellite imaging, an ancient shipwreck, not on Mount Ararat, the legendary location of Noah's Ark, but 1000 miles due east in the mountains of southern Russia.
The expedition quickly meets with disaster.
New chapter every Friday!
Let me know what you think!
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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