BartCop Entertainment Archives - Tuesday, 1 April, 2008

Tuesday

1 April, 2008

(Updated Daily)

[248 days in a row]

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'Best of TBH Politoons'

Click Here!



Thanks, again, Tim!

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Dareland

Lies To Get You Out of the House
The true story of the biggest April Fool's Day Prank of All Time

By Michael Dare
 
None of this is my fault. At least not all my fault. There are plenty of others to blame. For instance, there's the Bhagwan . . .

 
I start out 1985 at the Bodhi Tree, a multispiritual bookstore on Melrose with incense and herbal tea. I am looking for nothing in particular, which is when you stumble upon the most surprising things. I am skimming from section to section, belief system to belief system, from Asimov to Zoroaster, when there in front of me is an entire wall of books by someone I've never heard of. His name is Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, and he is not famous yet. He has not yet moved to Oregon, started an ashram, collected Rolls-Royces and gotten thrown out of the country. But he will be equally responsible for the Biggest April Fool's Day Prank of all time. If I had not opened a random book by Rajneesh, turned to the first page and read the first paragraph, none of this would have happened. Here is what that first page said:
Beyond the boundary of this room is the unbound, open sky. You have never seen it. I can talk with you about the sky, about the freshness, about the sea, about all that is beyond this room, but you have not seen it. You do not know about it. You just laugh; you think I am making it up. You say, "It is all fantastic. You are a dreamer." I cannot convince you to go outside because everything that I can talk about is meaningless to you. Then I say, "The house is on fire!" This is meaningful to you; this is something that you can understand. Now I do not have to give you any explanations. I just run; you follow me. The house is not on fire, but the moment you are outside you don't have to ask me why I lied. The meaning is there; the sky is there. Now you thank me. Any lie will do. The lie was just a device; it was just a device to bring you outside. It did not cause the outside to be there. Every religion is based on a lie device.
I immediately dig the guy. Here he is, right off the bat, admitting that he's lying to me. I buy the book and never finish it, but I do end up carrying a phrase around in my head for days, like a hit song with a killer hook. "Lies to get you out of the house." I write it down at the top of a piece of paper, sure that something will come.

It does. I conceive of it as an article for the L.A. Weekly, where I am regularly getting printed. I stare at the sheet of paper underneath the title. I start filling in the blanks. "You missed Filmex," I type, "didn't see Company and discovered too late that Julian Lennon was sold out. Instead, you stayed home again last weekend, despite the dozens of glorious and exciting things the L.A. Weekly told you there were to do. Well, I'm sorry, but there's no excuse for such laziness. . ." I follow this short intro with a list of totally fantastic things, such as a "Free Nude Ballet" in Echo Park or Spago selling pizza at $2 a slice â€" things that can't possibly be true. Blatant lies just to get you out of the house, like Rajneesh said. It is an ultimate piece of absurdist wish fulfillment with the sole purpose of getting couch potatoes off their couches. Also, it is precisely my sense of humor, and I think it might amuse my editor, the founder/editor of the L.A. Weekly, Jay Levin.

I bring it to him and the next idea is his, I swear to God. All I do is show him the piece. He laughs, looks at the calendar and says, "Let's run it on April Fools' Day." See? Not my idea, though at the time I wished I had thought of it.

Jay runs the article full-page, with illustrations. But it isn't titled "Lies To Get You Out of the House," it's titled "A Weekend To Remember." There is no hint that the items are lies unless you read the bold reversed subhead, "A guide to special events in L.A. on or about April 1." A lot of people don't read the bold reversed subhead. A lot of people skip right to the item that interests them, without bothering to read anything else. A lot of people go out to do things that aren't really happening. Things that will make them sound nuts if they ask about them.

"Excuse me, could you direct me to the free nude ballet starring all the women from Fantasy Island?"

"Uh . . . sure, Bud. It's right this way."

Who would believe such nonsense? Readers, that's who. Lots of them. Like the dozens who arrive for the "Car Swap."

"Tired of your old beater? Just bring it to the parking lot at the Farmers Market this weekend and swap it for a shiny new 1985 American model of your choice," the article says, and that they do. Who doesn't want a new car?
Of course if Alice hadn't met Pete, she never would have stolen that convertible. He told her he was a dealer, and that's why he had all those keys from hundreds of late-model cars, just like a hotel owner has master keys to the hotel's rooms. She believed the lie about the car swap, so why wouldn't she believe him? It makes perfect sense that she would take the new Mustang he just happened to have the keys to in trade for her decrepit Beetle.
That's why this story isn't about me, it's about them. Perhaps you. The hundreds who trust, who believe, who don't realize it's April Fools.

"Paint the Beverly Center!" Sure, where are my spray cans?
There are two things Hermes can do faster than anyone else, run and paint. It is a perfect combo for a graffiti artist. His Holy Grail is the Beverly Center, which he considers to be a blight upon the basin. He misses the pony rides. But what a canvas. He reads that "the entire building is being given over to the artistic community to do with it what they will. Paint provided . . ." He drives past the building on Friday night and dreams. Who can blame him for making his dream come true the next day? Who can blame them for arresting him, then letting him go, then arresting him again?
The "Gourmet Food Fair" down the median strip of Santa Monica Boulevard in Beverly Hills is such a good idea that it actually happens years later. But it doesn't happen on April Fools' Day of 1985, when Irate Reader drives all the way in from the Valley to sample his first Spago's goat-cheese-and-alligator-sausage pizza for only $2 a slice. The Weekly runs his subsequent letter to the editor, with apologies.

As for those jerks who showed up at the L.A. County Museum of Art, it serves them right. Why would anyone show up to see a special newly restored version of A Star Is Born, in which the director, Frank Pierson, has removed all the close-ups of Barbra Streisand? The new director's cut of the film "runs only 23 minutes." But still they come. Is this not clearly a joke? Do they simply fail to believe that anyone is crass enough to make a joke at Barbra Streisand's expense?
 
I admit I'm startled that someone believes me when I say it's "Punch Out a Head of State" day at Disneyland. Do I mention that the "Meet Mr. Lincoln" exhibit will feature the addition of Reagan, Thatcher, Gorbachev, Botha et al., and that "everyone in the audience will be allowed to wallop the national leader of his or her choice"? You bet I do.
So it's not surprising that Disney security throws Tito out of the park for knocking the animatronic Ronald Reagan's head off. He does discover a secret ride, one reserved for those getting thrown out. Mickey's personal escort service takes you directly to your car. Tito enjoys his prolonged tour of the parking lot.
When I say there is going to be "Free Health Care" at Cedars-Sinai hospital, it is just a lie to get you out of the house. When I say, "There's no charge for anything from minor injuries to major surgery," it is clearly a promise that can't be fulfilled. It's supposed to be funny.

But you don't laugh, you believe me. You show up, like the legions to Lourdes, the poor, the destitute, desperate souls with no damned hope in the world of getting free health care at the biggest, most expensive hospital in the city. Thanks a lot. Cedars-Sinai are the only ones who threaten to sue.

I know I disappoint all you Tom Selleck fans when I say he is going to be "performing at Chippendales." You must not have read the part that said it was "a special benefit for dull, nonpersonable cops."
They do give you your money back. They do invite you back two weeks later when Tom Selleck actually appears. One of you does marry him.
And I get my favorite phone call of all time. I'm in the front office of the Weekly when the receptionist says, "It's for you," and asks me to pick up the phone.

"Hello, is this Michael Dare?"

"Yes."

"This is the LAPD. Why are we getting all these phone calls asking for free Italian shoes?"

Did I forget to mention that one of the items stated that the LAPD had discovered an unclaimed cache of thousands of pairs of Italian shoes and would be giving them away? I had forgotten all about it. And so I take a deep breath and say the one thing I haven't said all day, especially to a cop. I say, "April Fool."

That weekend, I get one personal dream fulfilled in exchange for this notoriety. I get to lie on my back in the sun at the "Love-In in Griffith Park" that does occur, despite the fact it was only a figment of my crackpot imagination, and it will keep occurring year after year. I get to pretend it is the '60s. Love beads and tie-dyes. Clouds that look like things. Not a care in the world, awake to all options, alive to the momentary depth of change that is always possible with just a little bit of trust.


Excerpt from Meditation: The Art of Ecstasy, Chapter 1. ©Copyright Osho International Foundation and used with kind permission.


Posted By Michael Dare to Dareland

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The Clintons' New-Found Faith, in Richard Mellon Scaife


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Recommended Reading

from Bruce

Paul Krugman: The Dilbert Strategy (nytimes.com)
The principle behind the Bush administration's proposal for financial reform is about creating the appearance of responding to the current crisis, without actually doing anything substantive.


Sanford Pinsker: To Close or Not to Close -- The Office Door (irascibleprofessor.com)
For most of my teaching career I simply didn't think about it: my office was wide open (I thought of that as "inviting") when I was alone and closed when a student slipped inside. Granted, those were the days when my college was all male and when nobody, absolutely, nobody, thought that trouble might be brewing or a lawsuit just might be hatching -- that is, if the student came up with a whopper about being sexually molested.


Norman Solomon: "NPR: National Pentagon Radio?"
When even public radio parrots the military's official line on the war in Iraq, what hope is there for unbiased, quality reporting?


The real uses of enchantment (books.guardian.co.uk)
Salman Rushdie's sumptuous mixture of history and fable in The Enchantress of Florence is magnificent, says Ursula K Le Guin.


Ben Waterhouse: Michael Pollan's Manifesto (wweek.com)
Post-Omnivore's Dilemma, the doomsday prophet of the U.S. diet lets us know what we can eat. ... He sums up his dietary philosophy with the dictum: "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants."


Interview: Marjane Satrapi has turned her comic book memoir into an award-winning film. She talks to Simon Hattenstone (film.guardian.co.uk)
"Anything that has a relationship with pleasure we reject it. Eating, they talk about cholesterol; making love, they talk about Aids; you talk about smoking, they talk about cancer. It's a very sick society that rejects pleasure."


Kristina Wong: The Latest Hellboy Gossip (thephoenix.com)
With Hellboy II: The Golden Army hitting theaters this summer and plans for the further adventures of Screw-On Head, illustrated novelist Mike Mignola never gets a day off.


Mike Usinger: Against Me! makes like a modern-day Clash (straight.com)
"Obviously, less and less records are being sold each year, so it's more about touring now," Gabel offers. "Anyone in a band knows that the way you make money off touring is not just from playing the show, but also how much merch you sell. So much of the emphasis is about T-shirts and memorabilia and shit like that. And then, because the music isn't what's connecting people these days, labels and the fans expect all this networking through things like MySpace and Facebook and whatever."


Greg Katz: Cadence Weapon Raps With Breakneck Flow (lacitybeat.com)
Ordinary rappers rarely try to distance themselves from party funk, and even more rarely try to align themselves with cerebral electronica. But 22-year-old Cadence Weapon, born Roland Pemberton III to the seminal Canadian rap radio jock that shares his name, is no ordinary rapper


Dennis Romero: DJ Kazell Helped Put L.A. on House International Map (lacitybeat.com)
That DJ Kazell has become one of America's great spinners is no joke: True DJ fans appreciate the extra work and skill that goes into opening and sustaining a big night, including setting the mood, modulating energy, and handing off the baton off to the next spinner with aplomb.


On the money: Donald Sutherland (film.guardian.co.uk)
He's the boy from small-town Nova Scotia who became an icon of Seventies cinema, thanks to his wisecracking Hawkeye in M*A*S*H and that scene in Don't Look Now. Thirty-five years on, at the age of 72, the father of an acting dynasty and star of Channel 4's Dirty Sexy Money charms Carole Cadwalladr with his mountain of esoteric knowledge


Michael Portantiere: Interview with Harvey Fierstein (afterelton.com)
With his breakthrough role of Arnold Beckoff in his self-penned "Torch Song Trilogy," Harvey Fierstein established a stage persona that was proudly gay and definitely Jewish. Since then, his Broadway roles have seen him stretching a bit in one direction or another. In Hairspray, he played a character who was presumably Jewish, but heterosexual - though that character happened to be a woman. And in Fiddler on the Roof, he played Tevye, who's most certainly Jewish, but certainly not gay. (He has five daughters!)


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John Edwards Stays Neutral in Election for Mill Foreman


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COCK ON THE BOARD WALK

IS READY TO CROW AT ME

I'M ALREADY UP

zEN mAN
(observing a fine rooster getting ready to cock a doodle)

zEN mAN archives


zEN mAN



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Trivia Question Of The Day

What was the last US movie made about mankind landing on the moon before mankind landed on the moon?

   A:    2001: A Space Odyssey
   B:    Moontrap
   C:    The Phantom Planet
   D:    They Came from Beyond Space
   E:    Way... Way Out



Send your answer to Marty




Trivia Question from Yesterday

Howard Hughes' "Spruce Goose" (Hughes H-4 Hercules) was built of what kind of wood?

   A:    Ash
   B:    Balsa
  C:    Birch
   D:    Oak
   E:    Spruce                 Source

The Hughes H-4 Hercules (registration NX37602) is a "one-off" heavy transport aircraft designed and built by the Hughes Aircraft company, making its first and only flight on 2 November, 1947 in Long Beach, CA. Built from wood due to wartime raw material restrictions to the use of aluminium, it was nicknamed the "Spruce Goose" by its critics. The Hercules is the largest flying boat ever built, and has the largest wingspan and height of any aircraft in history. It survives in good condition at the Evergreen Aviation Museum in McMinnville, Oregon.
The H-4 was built almost entirely of laminated birch, not spruce as its nickname suggests.






mj was first, and correct, reasoning:
   He was stuck with wood, but which wood would he want?
  Oak and ash are hardwoods and a bit too heavy. Bals and spruce are light but way too soft (his lady firend's heels would punch through.) I guess that leaves C, birch. Sort of a flying canoe.




Alan J was second, with a succinct:
   Birch



PURPLE GENE answered:
   KNOWN AS "HUGHES H4 HERCULES" AND NICKNAMED THE "SPRUCE GOOSE", THE "FLYING BOAT" THAT HOWARD HUGHES DESIGNED AND BARELEY FLEW DURING WORLD WAR II WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BUILT FROM ALUMINUM, BUT BECAUSE OF WARTIME SHORTAGE OF METAL, HUGHES INVENTED A WOOD LAMINATE CONSTRUCTION TECHNIQUE KNOWN AS "DURAMOLD"
  THE WOOD THAT WAS USED WAS ......C....."BIRCH"
  THIS AIRCRAFT HAD THE LARGEST WINGSPAN OF ANY EVER.




Bill K responded:
   The Spruce Goose was made of birch.



Ted said:
   Birch..BTW, I predicted it wouldn't fly ! Of course my record for being incorrect remains intact.



bebo replied:
   ah yes. another trick question. OK, I'll bite. E: spruce.



Charlie replied:
   It wouldn't have done to call it the "Birch Bitch," though it was made of
  C: Birch




DanD responded:
   While a small amount of Spruce was used, Birch (C) was what H. Hughes mostly used to construct his flying lumberyard.



Marian the Teacher answered:
   birch



Sally said:
   The, "Spruce Goose" (Hughes H-4 Hercules) was built of Laminated Birch (C).
  Who could forget Howard Hughes, eccentric movie mogul and aviation genius who died one of the richest men in America? But, did you know, that it was the same Howard Hughes who was responsible for the classic push-up bra?
  Howard Hughes designed the steel underwire bra for sweater girl Jane Russell to wear in his movie, "The Outlaw." Hughes, as an airplane designer, adopted "modern technologies" to uplift the contour of the bosom. Hughes had his engineers design a seamless underwire brassiere, "A breakthrough in bra science" to lift Russell's 38-D breasts, leaving no visible support lines to interrupt the under-blouse contour of her bosom. Although the film was made in the early 1940s, the movie ran into a censorship holdup (excuse that bad pun) so the movie didn't make the movie circuits until 1950 and this is the photo that launched the 1,000 movie theater tour
    ------>




And, Joe S ("I'm not a paranoid deranged millionaire. Goddamit, I'm a billionaire."  ~ Howard Hughes) observed:
   As an Air Force veteran, as were my father and several uncles, (well technically they were Army Air Corps first) we all know the Spruce Goose was built from a special plywood of, what else, birch. I did have a model built of balsa wood when I was a kid though.


  


A Day Late -
Re: Who turned down the role of Atticus Finch in "To Kill A Mockingbird" because it was 'too liberal'?

Barbara T replied correctly:
  James Stewart



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http://dareland.


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Selected Readings

from that Mad Cat, JD

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER REPUG CRIMINAL!

WATCHING THE EGGROLL!

FEEL THE REPUG TRICKLE DOWN!

BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WATCHING BUSH'S BOY IN BAGHDAD BACK DOWN WHILE DICK CHENEY'S WET DREAM RUNS THE SHOW! THANKYOU CHIMP BOY!

WHAT PART OF: "REPUGS SUCK FROM THE DEEPEST HOLES IN HELL" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

PUTTING A CONDOM ON THEIR NOSE!

THE WIKI WARS!

THE SIDE WITH THE MOST GUNS GOES BANKRUPT!

THE WELFARE KING!

THE McBUSH GANG RIDES AGAIN!

YOUR CASH AINT NOTHING BUT TRASH!

McBUSH AND THE JESUS FREAK!

IS McBUSH DUMBER THAN THE CHIMP? MAYBE!



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Ark Of Darkness

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In The Chaos Household

Last Night

Sunny and seasonal.



Tonight, Tuesday:

CBS begins the night with a RERUN 'NCIS', followed by a FRESH 'Big Brother 9', then a FRESH 'CSI: The 2nd One'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Sen. John McCain and Cat Power.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craig are Forest Whitaker, Jean-Michel Cousteau, and Your Lips Your Lips.

NBC starts the night with a FRESH 2-hour 'Biggest Loser', followed by a RERUN 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Leno are David Beckham, Sherri Shepherd, and the B-52's.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Helen Mirren, professional yodeler Wylie Gustafson, and Carbon Silicon.
On a RERUN Carson 'The Scab' Daly (from 3/12/08) are Kerri Kenney and Hellogoodbye.

ABC opens the night with a FRESH 'Just For Laughs', followed by another FRESH 'Just For Laughs', then a FRESH 'Dancing With The Stars', followed by a FRESH 'Live To Be 150'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Ryan Phillippe, the third eliminated celebrity from "Dancing with the Stars", and Carole King.

The CW offers a FRESH 'Beauty & The Geek', followed by a RERUN 'Reaper'.

Faux has a FRESH 'American Idol', followed by the SEASON PREMIERE 'Hell's Kitchen'.

MY 'Street Patrol', another 'Street Patrol', 'Jail', and another 'Jail'.

A&E has 'CSI: The 2nd One', 'The First 48', 'Gene Simmons', another 'Gene Simmons', and still another 'Gene Simmons'.

AMC offers the movie 'Forrest Gump', followed by the movie 'Letters From Iwo Jima', then the movie 'Hamburger Hill'.

BBC  -   
 [06:05 AM]   Once Upon a Crime;
 [07:45 AM]   Looking for Richard;
 [09:45 AM]   Monster in a Box;
 [11:20 AM]   Once Upon a Crime;
 [01:00 PM]   Looking for Richard;
 [03:00 PM]   Monster in a Box;
 [04:35 PM]   Once Upon a Crime;
 [06:15 PM]   Amarcord;
 [08:30 PM]   IFC News Special: 2008 Elections;
 [09:00 PM]   Melinda and Melinda;
 [10:45 PM]   Novo;
 [12:30 AM]   The Dreamers;
 [02:30 AM]   Melinda and Melinda;
 [04:15 AM]   Novo.    (ALL TIMES EDT)

Bravo has all 'Real Housewives of NYC' all night.

Comedy Central has 'Scrubs', another 'Scrubs', last night's 'Jon Steweart', last night's 'Colbert Report', 'Futurama', 'South Park', and 'Patton Oswalt: No Reason'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is Simon LeVay.
Scheduled on a FRESH Colbert Report is Van Jones.

FX has the movie 'Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines', followed by the movie 'The Day After Tomorrow', and a FRESH 'The Riches'.

History has 'Modern Marvels', 'The Universe', followed by a FRESH 'The Universe', and 'Ax Men'.

IFC  -   
 [06:05 AM]   Once Upon a Crime;
 [07:45 AM]   Looking for Richard;
 [09:45 AM]   Monster in a Box;
 [11:20 AM]   Once Upon a Crime;
 [01:00 PM]   Looking for Richard;
 [03:00 PM]   Monster in a Box;
 [04:35 PM]   Once Upon a Crime;
 [06:15 PM]   Amarcord;
 [08:30 PM]   IFC News Special: 2008 Elections;
 [09:00 PM]   Melinda and Melinda;
 [10:45 PM]   Novo;
 [12:30 AM]   The Dreamers;
 [02:30 AM]   Melinda and Melinda;
 [04:15 AM]   Novo.    (ALL TIMES EST)

SciFi has 'Scariest Places On Earth', another 'Scariest Places On Earth', still another 'Scariest Places On Earth', and 'ECW'.

Sundance  -    Information not available.

TCM devotes the daylight hours to celebrating fools, then spends the night with Alfred Hitchcock.
 [6:00 AM]      April Fool (1924)    SILENT ;
 [6:15 AM]      Men Are Such Fools (1938);
 [7:30 AM]      Dance, Fools, Dance (1931);
 [9:00 AM]      You Can't Fool Your Wife (1940);
 [10:30 AM]      Fools For Scandal (1938);
 [12:00 PM]      Fools' Parade (1971);
 [2:00 PM]      My Foolish Heart (1949);
 [4:00 PM]      Three Wise Fools (1946);
 [6:00 PM]      I Thank A Fool (1962);
 [8:00 PM]      The Birds (1963);
 [10:15 PM]      Marnie (1964);
 [12:30 AM]      Psycho (1960);
 [2:30 AM]      Topaz (1969);
 [5:00 AM]      Torn Curtain (1966).
    (ALL TIMES EST)


Wednesday  -  04/02/08

TCM:
 [7:15 AM]      When's Your Birthday? (1937);
 [8:30 AM]      Stingaree (1934);
 [10:00 AM]      To Be or Not to Be (1942);
 [11:45 AM]      The African Queen (1951);
 [1:30 PM]      Mr. Arkadin (1955);
 [3:15 PM]      The Farmer's Daughter (1947);
 [5:00 PM]      Merrily We Live (1938);
 [6:45 PM]      A Bill of Divorcement (1932);
 [8:00 PM]      The Great Train Robbery (1903)    SILENT ;
 [8:15 PM]      Santa Fe (1951);
 [10:00 PM]      The Long Riders (1980);
 [12:00 AM]      Colorado Territory (1949);
 [2:00 AM]      The Five Man Army (1970);
 [4:00 AM]      How the West Was Won (1962).    (ALL TIMES EST)



Any opinions?

Or reviews?







(See below for addresses)

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Actor Jeremy Irons attends a reception prior to 'Franco and Friends,' the Metropolitan Opera Guild's all-star tribute to Franco Zeffirelli, Monday, March 31, 2008 in New York. Zeffirelli, the Italian director and designer of numerous operas and films, was honored by the guild as his production of Puccini's 'La boheme' returns to the Metropolitan Opera.
Photo by Henny Ray Abrams
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Click Here!

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Sues Over NY Billboard

Woody Allen

Woody Allen asked a federal court on Monday to strip a clothing company known for its racy ads featuring scantily clad models of at least $10 million for using his image on billboards and on the Internet.

In a lawsuit in U.S. District Court in Manhattan, the actor-director said he does not endorse commercial products or services in the United States, which makes the May 2007 American Apparel billboards in Hollywood and New York and Web site displays "especially egregious and damaging."

The lawsuit complained of a billboard featuring a frame from "Annie Hall," a film that won Allen a best director Oscar. The image showed Allen, 72, dressed as a Hasidic Jew with a long beard and black hat and Yiddish text meaning "the holy rebbe." The words "American Apparel" also were on the billboard.

The billboard falsely implied that Allen sponsored, endorsed or was associated with American Apparel, said the lawsuit, which seeks at least $10 million in compensatory damages and unspecified punitive damages.

Woody Allen

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Spanish actor Javier Bardem (R) is congratulated by his brother Carlos after receiving an honorary award for being the only Spanish actor to have ever been awarded an Oscar at the end of the 17th Actors Union Awards ceremony in Madrid March 31, 2008.
Photo by Susana Vera
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Drop Oakland Studio Bid

Wayans Brothers

The Wayans brothers have dropped their bid to build a movie studio and shopping center at the former Oakland Army base over conflicts with the nearby port of Oakland.

Wayans business partner Britten Shuford said the brothers failed to get a commitment from the city to preserve the site's San Francisco Bay views.

The port plans to stack storage containers and build a dividing wall that would block views of the bay.

Oakland business officials say the Wayans' decision to back out after long-standing negotiations over the 100-acre parcel clears the path for other proposals on developing the base, which closed in 1999.

Wayans Brothers

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bartcook

In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends

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Fetches $4.1 Million

Hollywood Auction

An oversized six-sheet poster for the 1933 film classic "King Kong" fetched $345,000 to top all items at a two-day auction of Hollywood memorabilia.

Last week's auction by Profiles in History raised $4.1 million from the sale of more than 1,100 pieces.

Other prices included $103,500 for Michael Keaton's complete costume from "Batman Returns"; $51,750 for Julie Andrews' signature coat from "Mary Poppins"; and $46,000 for the jacket and pants Bob Keeshan wore on the "Captain Kangaroo" television series.

Hollywood Auction

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Actor Eli Wallach is introduced at 'Franco and Friends,' the Metropolitan Opera Guild's all-star tribute to Italian director and designer Franco Zeffirelli, Monday, March 31, 2008 in New York. Zeffirelli, who directed and designed numerous operas and films, was honored by the guild as his production of Puccini's 'La Boheme' returns to the Metropolitan Opera.
Photo by Henny Ray Abrams
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Hospital News

Nancy Wilson

Nancy Wilson was hospitalized Monday for treatment of a collapsed lung, a spokeswoman said.

The 71-year-old Grammy-winning singer was expected to recover but will not be able to make a performance scheduled in Memphis, Tenn., next weekend, said Devra Levy, wife of Wilson's manager, John Levy.

Wilson, who lives in the Southern California high desert, began experiencing pain and was taken to the hospital by her husband, Wiley Burton.

Nancy Wilson

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I'm Pissed
(formerly 'The Vidiot')

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Clothing Company Hits Back At Heirs

Steve McQueen

Clothing company Belstaff has hit back at Steve McQueen's heirs with a damages claim against them over use of the film star's Trailmaster black biker jacket.

Belstaff, which made the original waxed jacket worn by McQueen and bought it at auction from his widow, said in a statement on Monday his heirs "had authorized other companies to claim that the jacket produced by them was the original one."

The company paid $35,000 for the jacket in November 2006 and has put it on display at its showroom in Milan which also serves as a museum for other Belstaff jackets owned by famous names.

Steve McQueen's estate took action against Belstaff this month, alleging unauthorized use of the late film star's name and image as part of its "Steve McQueen Celebration" line.

Steve McQueen

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In this image provided by the Zoological Society of San Diego, three meerkat pups are are seen Monday, March 31, 2008, at the San Diego Zoo. The pups are thriving and are scrambling about in their habitat with 12 other meerkats. After their birth on Feb. 21, they spent much of their first few weeks in the den.
Photo by Ken Bohn
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Joining NBC's `Today'

Kathie Lee Gifford

Kathie Lee Gifford will soon be back on TV's early shift.

The former co-star of the syndicated "Live" talk show will join NBC's "Today" next Monday. She will be teamed with Hoda Kotb, a current anchor of the program's seven-month-old fourth hour, which airs live at 10 a.m. EDT.

Gifford, 54, who left Regis Philbin and "Live" in 2000, joked that the timing of her TV return "couldn't be worse" in certain ways: "I'm eight years older, 10 pounds heavier, a half-inch shorter, and just in time for HD television."

Ann Curry will continue her role as news anchor of the 7 a.m.-9 a.m. hours of "Today," as well as co-host, with Al Roker, of the 9 a.m. hour. Natalie Morales will join Curry and Roker as a third co-host at 9 a.m, and will serve as the show's national correspondent, the network said.

Kathie Lee Gifford

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Miss USA Pageant Judge

Heather Mills

Heather Mills soon will be back in front of the cameras. The former Mrs. Paul McCartney, who recently wrapped up a very public divorce from the ex-Beatle, is among the celebrity judges just announced for the upcoming Miss USA Pageant.

Other judges for the April 11 competition include actor/comedian Rob Schneider, actor/musician Joey Fatone, actress Kristian Alfonso, Olympic-champion swimmer Amanda Beard, actress Kelly Carlson and San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman.

Donny and Marie Osmond will host the telecast of the 57th annual pageant, aired live from Las Vegas on NBC.

Heather Mills

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This photo released by Harvard Lampoon, the cover of the organization's National Geographic parody edition featuring Paris Hilton, scheduled to hit the newsstands April 1, 2008, is shown. The magazine is published five times a year.
Photo by Joshua Dalsimer
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Painting Found

Pablo Picasso

A rare painting by Pablo Picasso is to be sold after it was discovered in a bedroom alongside two other important works.

Duke's auction house said Monday the watercolor "Etreinte," depicting the artist in an embrace with lover Louise Lenoir, was found propped up against a wall with two equine paintings by British artists George Stubbs and Alfred Munnings.

"To find just one of these works would have been incredible, but to find three was quite exceptional," said Guy Schwinge of Duke's.

It was thought to have been painted in 1901 or 1902 when the Spanish master was a struggling artist in his early 20s. It was authenticated by Picasso in 1969.

Pablo Picasso

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Rare Parrot Chicks Hatch in New Zealand

Kakapos

A species of flightless parrot edged back from extinction with the hatching of five new chicks in New Zealand in recent weeks and two more on the way, officials said Monday.

The latest births of owl-like kakapos in southern New Zealand brought the population of the rare bird to just 91, said Emma Neill, a senior official of a Department of Conservation program to save the parrot.

Neill said even a small lift in numbers was "awesome," especially because the birds only breed every few years.

The kakapo is an owl-like nocturnal parrot with finely blotched yellow-green plumage, a large gray beak, short legs, large feet, and relatively short wings and tail. The bird lost the ability to fly as it evolved because there were no ground level predators in the New Zealand environment to threaten the species.

Kakapos

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In Memory

Jules Dassin

Jules Dassin, the American who directed the film "Never on Sunday" and was married to the late Greek actress and culture minister Melina Mercouri, died in an Athens hospital after a short illness on Monday aged 96.

Blacklisted in the United States in the 1950s, he fled to Europe, where he met the young, larger-than-life Greek actress at the Cannes film festival and never looked back.

Born in Connecticut on December 18 1911, Dassin began working as an actor and theatre producer before becoming assistant to film director Alfred Hitchcock in 1940.

He was hailed as a bright talent with his first films in the 1940s but his career froze in 1952, when he was named (by director Edward Dmytryk) in testimony to the House of Representatives Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC) as a member of Hollywood's "communist faction."

His biggest success was the 1960 film "Never on Sunday," starring Mercouri, which he wrote and directed. It won an Oscar in 1961 for best original song and Dassin received Oscar nominations for best director and best writing, story and screenplay.

After the 1967 military coup in Greece, the couple became vocal opponents of the junta and their home in Paris the centre of the Greek diaspora's resistance. They settled in Greece when democracy returned in 1974.

When the socialists won the 1981 elections, Mercouri was appointed culture minister and Dassin become a Greek citizen, occasionally directing for the theatre.

In his later years Dassin was active in the Greek drive to return the Elgin Marbles to Athens from the British Museum in London, a campaign led with passion by Mercouri.

He was well loved by the public and respected across the political spectrum in Greece.

Jules Dassin

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A new baby Red-tailed Guenon named Matani holds onto his mother Malaika, in the Wortham World of Primates at the Houston Zoo Monday, March 31, 2008. Matani, which means strength in Swahili, was born, March 16.
Photo by Johnny Hanson
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