Pauli Poisuo: 5 Great Products That Failed For No Reason (Cracked)
There's a saying: "If you build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door." That saying is bullshit. You could create the most effective way to dispose of rodents the world has ever seen, but without funds, proper infrastructure, competent groundwork, those dicks in marketing, and plenty of luck, you'll be as successful as the Pied Piper of Hamelin screaming about his pest-removal services on the street corner while drunkenly smearing himself with human shit.
Latka Gravas is a fictional character on the television sitcom Taxi portrayed by Andy Kaufman. A sweet-natured and lovable-but-goofy mechanic, Latka was based on a character Kaufman created known as Foreign Man.
Latka's dissociative identity disorder was conceived late in the series as a result of Kaufman expressing boredom at portraying Latka. This allowed him to broaden his comedic abilities with alternate personas such as the womanizing American Vic Ferrari, the cowboy Harlow, the elegant Englishman Sir Geoffrey, and even Alex Rieger himself. In these episodes, Latka's different personas have no idea that they are the same person, and Vic even talks about Latka as if he knows him personally. Around the same time as his marriage to Simka, Latka's alternate personalities are completely eradicated by Doctor Joyce Brothers and do not appear again for the remainder of the series.
Dale of Diamond Springs, Norcali, where we should get some snow at 2000 ft. tomorrow, responded:
Latka Gravas, out of the world of Andy Kaufman. Went to see Andy Kaufman at the Warfield, in the City, in the late 70's. Tony Clifton opened the show…way to long of a lounge lizard act with Kaufman doing only about 15 minutes of his shtick! Almost a riot. It was all intentional! What a couple of Schlongs! It was Bob Zmuda that night.
No Crab Cioppino this Xmas due to our local Dungeness Crab (the sweetest and most flavorful) being infected with domoic acid, a neurotoxin produced by microscopic algae, as a result from El Niño's warmer waters. Rats! Make something different to feed my Brood.
Dave in Tucson said:
For the record, I sent my answer, Kurt Vonnegut, but evidently Google screwed me again by not delivering my email. On Monday I just forgot to return to the page with my answer - I knew it was Dana Carvey; I've seen him live twice and he was funny as hell.
Here's something to read. Thanks to my daughter for sharing the link and encouraging me to keep reading even though the author put me off.
Dale, I spent 4 winters in Glenwood Springs, CO. Never again will I live in the mountains where it snows. I'm glad you made it out of there unscathed.
Womanizing Vic Ferrari is the TV alter ego of Latka Gravas, played by Andy Kaufman, on the show "Taxi."
I have a few more cookies to make and then I'm done! Pass the Festivus cocktail, please.
Lois Of Latvia answered:
Oh the lovely Andy Kaufman. I'd forgotten all about him. He was funny in "Taxi", but his stand up was mostly puzzling. I frankly prefer chicken jokes...
Latka Gravas ~ Played by Andy Kaufman. Latka Gravas was an East European immigrant with a strange Slavic/Russian accent who worked for The Sunshine Taxi Company New York City, NY.
Joe S responded:
Latka Gravas. I didn't know that, I had to look it up. I don't think I ever saw even one episode of Taxi. I'm probably the only person in the country, who was alive at that time, who can make that claim. I did see snippets of the show on occasion, mostly of Reverend Jim. Reverend Jim inspired me to become ordained. I performed three marriage ceremonies, the first one the Groom died, The second couple got divorced. The third is still going strong and have a beautiful daughter. I quit while I was ahead.
Oh, and Happy Festivus LOSERS!
Patriot Act NSA Spying Unconstitutional Section 215 National Security Letters Must End
My name is Marc Perkel and I have decided to announce that I will not comply with the so called "Patriot Act" laws requiring me to disclose information about my customers. If I receive a national security letter I will immediately photograph it, post it online everywhere I can, and then make a video of me burning it. I will then await my arrest. If you want to put me in jail then come get me mother fucker.
CBS opens the night with a RERUN'Big Bang Theory', followed by a RERUN'Life In Pieces', then a RERUN'Mom', followed by a RERUN'2 Broke Girls', then RERUN'Elementary'.
Stephen Colbert is pre-empted.
James Corden, OBE, is pre-empted.
ABC starts the night with 'A Charlie Brown Christmas', followed by 'It's Your 50th Christmas, Charlie Brown', then RERUN'The Great Christmas Light Fight'.
On a RERUNJimmy Kimmel (from 12/14/15) are Oscar Isaac, Misty Copeland, Jeff Lynne's ELO.
The CW offers 'Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol', followed by a RERUN'Whose Line Is It Anyway?', then another RERUN'Whose Line Is It Anyway?'.
Faux fills the night with the RERUN'TVs Funniest Animated Stars: A Paley Center For Media Special'.
MY has 'TMZ (Not So) Live', followed by 'Hollywood Today (Not So) Live'.
A&E has 'Nightwatch: After Hours', followed by a FRESH'Nightwatch: After Hours', then another FRESH'Nightwatch: After Hours', still another FRESH'Nightwatch: After Hours', and yet another FRESH'Nightwatch: After Hours'.
AMC offers the movie 'Christmas With The Kranks', followed by the movie 'Jingle All The Way'.
[6:00AM] DOCTOR WHO - SEASON 8, Ep 6 - The Caretaker
[7:00AM] DOCTOR WHO - SEASON 8, Ep 7 - Kill the Moon
[8:00AM] DOCTOR WHO - SEASON 8, Ep 8 - Mummy on the Orient Express
[9:00AM] DOCTOR WHO - SEASON 8, Ep 9 - Flatline
[10:00AM] DOCTOR WHO - SEASON 8, Ep 1 - Deep Breath
[11:30AM] DOCTOR WHO: THE CHRISTMAS INVASION: The Runaway Bride
[12:30PM] DOCTOR WHO: THE CHRISTMAS INVASION: The Runaway Bride
[1:30PM] DOCTOR WHO: VOYAGE OF THE DAMNED
[3:00PM] DOCTOR WHO: THE NEXT DOCTOR: The Waters of Mars-Part 1 & 2.
[4:20PM] DOCTOR WHO: A CHRISTMAS CAROL
[5:40PM] DOCTOR WHO: THE DOCTOR, THE WIDOW AND THE WARDROBE - SEASON 6, Ep 1 - The Impossible Astronaut-Part 1.
[7:00PM] DOCTOR WHO: THE SNOWMEN: The Time Of The Doctor
[8:20PM] DOCTOR WHO: THE SNOWMEN: The Time Of The Doctor
[9:45PM] DOCTOR WHO: LAST CHRISTMAS
[11:00PM] DOCTOR WHO: THE SNOWMEN: The Time Of The Doctor
[12:20AM] DOCTOR WHO: THE SNOWMEN: The Time Of The Doctor
[1:45AM] DOCTOR WHO: LAST CHRISTMAS
[3:00AM] DOCTOR WHO - SEASON 8, Ep 9 - Flatline
[4:00AM] DOCTOR WHO - SEASON 8, Ep 10 - In the Forest of the Night
[5:00AM] DOCTOR WHO - SEASON 8, Ep 11 - Dark Water (ALL TIMES EST)
Bravo has 'Real Housewives Of BH', followed by the movie 'Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story'.
Comedy Central has 'Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special', followed by 'Jeff Dunham: Unhinged In Hollywood', 'Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy', and 'Gabriel Iglesias: I'm Not Fat ... I'm Fluffy'.
The Daily Show is pre-empted.
@Midnight is pre-empted.
FX has the movie 'Rise Of The Guardians', followed by the movie 'Turbo'.
History has the movie 'The Bible', followed by at least 4 hours of old 'Pawn Stars'.
[6:00AM] COMEDY BANG! BANG!-Ty Burrell
[6:15AM] BENDERS-Wake 'Em Up
[6:45AM] STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN
[9:15AM] THE MATRIX RELOADED
[12:15PM] THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS
[3:15PM] TODD MARGARET-The Increasingly Soon Return of Todd Margaret
[3:30PM] MR. WOODCOCK
[5:30PM] NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE
[8:00PM] FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH
[10:00PM] TODD MARGARET-How the Liver and the Salad Conspired to Ruin Todd's Good Deed
[10:30PM] TODD MARGARET-In Which Todd Accidentally Learns a Secret and Brent and Doug Get Closer to Further From the Truth
[11:00PM] FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH
[1:00AM] TODD MARGARET-How the Liver and the Salad Conspired to Ruin Todd's Good Deed
[1:30AM] TODD MARGARET-In Which Todd Accidentally Learns a Secret and Brent and Doug Get Closer to Further From the Truth
[2:00AM] NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE
[4:30AM] TODD MARGARET-The Increasingly Soon Return of Todd Margaret
[4:45AM] BENDERS-Secrets and Lies
[5:15AM] BENDERS-Nice Day for a Boat Ride
[5:45AM] COMEDY BANG! BANG!-Joel McHale (ALL TIMES EST)
[7:30AM] Mystic River
[1:00PM] Stand by Me
[3:00PM] Law & Order-Progeny
[4:00PM] Law & Order-Rage
[5:00PM] Law & Order-Performance
[6:00PM] Law & Order-Seed
[7:00PM] Law & Order-Wannabe
[8:00PM] Law & Order-Act of God
[9:00PM] Law & Order-Privileged
[10:00PM] Law & Order-Cruel and Unusual
[11:00PM] Law & Order-Bad Faith
[12:00AM] Law & Order-Purple Heart
[1:00AM] Law & Order-Switch
[2:00AM] Close Up With The Hollywood Reporter-Writers
[3:00AM] Little Children (ALL TIMES EST)
SyFy has the movie 'Christmas Icetastrophe', followed by a FRESH'WWE Steroid SmackDown!', then the movie 'Land Of The Lost'.
When several reporters for the largest newspaper in Las Vegas were taken off their beats and assigned to investigate three judges, the decision seemed strange because it came from the paper's owners, not a newsroom editor.
The mystery deepened weeks later, when the public learned that casino mogul Sheldon Adelson's family had purchased the paper in a secretive deal. And the questions only intensified, leading the Review-Journal to publish a front-page story about suspicions that the executives who were in talks with the Adelson family had attempted to use the paper to strike out at a judge handling a lawsuit against the wealthy political donor known as a Republican kingmaker.
On Tuesday, the Review-Journal editor who decided not to run anything on the three judges told the staff he was stepping down after accepting a voluntary buyout.
Mike Hengel stunned the newsroom with his departure, which was announced Wednesday on the front page in an article that said an unspecified number of other employees had also accepted buyouts.
A woman from the Chilibulo community holds her llama on a leash, which she decorated with tinsel, during a parade showcasing traditional Ecuadorian clothing and dances on the seventh day of the "Novena" in Quito, Ecuador, Tuesday, Dec. 22, 2015. The nine-day event leads up to Christmas eve, a time when families and friends gather to pray, eat and sing Christmas carols. Llamas and donkeys were paraded to represent the animals from a traditional nativity scene.
Photo by Ana Maria Buitron
A judge upheld Seattle's new tax on firearms and ammunition sales on Tuesday, rejecting a challenge from the National Rifle Association claiming the measure violated a state law barring municipalities from enacting firearm legislation.
The Seattle City Council unanimously approved a "gun violence tax" on sellers of firearms and ammunition in August, directing proceeds toward violence prevention programs and research beginning in January 2016.
On Tuesday, King County Superior Court Judge Palmer Robinson denied a request by gun rights groups for an injunction, saying the tax did not violate state law and was a "lawful exercise of Seattle's taxing authority."
Under the new Seattle law, gun sellers will be taxed $25 for every gun sold plus 2 or 5 cent taxes on each round of ammunition.
After six months of trying - and failing - to determine the identity of an object that resembles a gilded rolling pin, experts at the Israel Antiquities Authority decided on Tuesday morning to hand the task over to "the wisdom of the masses" on Facebook.
Within hours and after hundreds of contributions, "the intelligence of the masses has done its work," the authority reported on Facebook. "It has solved the puzzle of the gold-covered object."
And no, it isn't a foot massager, a currency maker, a huge honey dipper, or a meat tenderizer, as some Facebook users have guessed.
The object, identified by an Italian man named Micah Barak, is an energy equalizer meant to be used by naturopaths and healers. It's called an "Isis Beamer," according to a German company that sells it, named after the Egyptian goddess of medicine, magic, and nature, and it "can create a protective field of the type generated by spirit energies or meditation."
A maintenance worker first found the 19-pound mysterious object in a building of an unidentified Jerusalem cemetery that serves as an important archaeological site. The site has turned up remains from Roman, Byzantine, and Crusader periods, NBC News reports.
A Lebanese Sufi Muslim man balances a stick on his nose as he performs a ritual to commemorate the birth of Prophet Mohammad inside a souk at the port city of Sidon, southern Lebanon, December 23, 2015. The poster reads, "Allah".
Photo by Ali Hashisho
The body of a Russian rocket that burned up as it entered the Earth's atmosphere set off a wave of excitement on social media and fueled speculation over what caused the flash of light to shoot across the sky in the American West.
The fireball seen over Arizona, Nevada and California on Tuesday night was an SL-4 rocket body booster from Russia that launched Monday, U.S. Strategic Command spokeswoman Julie Ziegenhorn said.
U.S. and Russian officials declined to discuss the rocket's use, but experts outside the government say it was launched as part of a project to bring materials to a space station. They say the rocket's body likely detached from the craft taking items into space and burned up as it started to go out of orbit.
An unmanned Russian cargo ship lifted off Monday from that nation's space launch complex in Kazakhstan on a journey to the International Space Station. The craft, which carried fuel, water, food and other supplies, has since docked at the station.
People who witnessed the burning light posted photos and video on social media, with some speculating that it was a meteor.
A US court has struck down part of a law that allows the government to ban disparaging trademarks, a move that could help the Washington Redskins as they seek to maintain their registered trademarks amid controversy.
The American football team has been under pressure from Native American groups who argue their name is racially tinged and offensive.
The ruling by the US Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit focused on Simon Shiao Tam's application to trademark the name The Slants for his Asian-American rock band.
Tam was denied a registered trademark in 2011 because the examiner in the US Patent and Trade Office (PTO) found the name disparaging to people of Asian descent. Tam challenged that ruling, but it was upheld by an appeals court panel.
The court reversed that decision Tuesday, with Judge Kimberly Moore writing for the majority that the US Constitution "protects even hurtful speech."
Starlings fill the sky over Shinbdon pond, in Gateshead, northeastern England, flying with acrobatic swooping before the sun goes down and they roost in what is known as a murmuration, Wednesday Dec. 23, 2015. Experts believe the starlings perform the murmuration as a form of protection from predators.
Photo by Owen Humphreys
Missouri residents soon will not be able to use their state driver's licenses as identification to get into most federal facilities, making it at least the fourth state to lose a federal exemption from complying with national proof-of-identity requirements.
A letter from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security to Missouri, obtained on Wednesday by The Associated Press, informs the state that its exemption from federal Real ID requirements will come to an end Jan. 10.
That means Missouri driver's licenses cannot be accepted as ID at military bases and most other federal facilities. It also could eventually mean that Missouri driver's licenses won't be accepted as identification for commercial airplane flights.
The 2005 Real ID act imposes tougher requirements for proof of legal U.S. residency in order for state driver's licenses to be valid for federal purposes. The law was passed in response to national security concerns after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.
The Homeland Security Department previously declared Minnesota to be non-compliant, and it sent letters in October to New Mexico and Washington indicating that their exemptions also would end Jan. 10.
A series of more than 30 earthquakes that rattled the Reno area over the past two days occurred on the most significant fault structure in the area, and scientists are monitoring for potentially bigger shock waves to follow, experts said Wednesday.
The quakes began Tuesday evening and continued into Wednesday morning. The largest - a magnitude-4.4. late Tuesday - shook homes and businesses in a 300-square-mile area near the Nevada-California line.
Scientists are paying close attention because it happened near a fault structure that has the potential for the largest earthquakes in the Truckee Meadows, along the Sierra Nevada's eastern front.
The largest temblor's epicenter was about 7 miles south of downtown Reno, the lab reported. It was felt as far as 50 miles east, near Silver Springs; 80 miles northeast in Quincy, California; and 100 miles southwest in Grass Valley, California.
Laced with faults, Nevada is the third most seismically active state, behind California and Alaska. A magnitude-6.0 temblor near the northeast Nevada town of Wells in 2008 was the biggest in the state in four decades, causing nearly $10 million in damage.
The sun rises by the lighthouse at Tynemouth, northeast England as a storm is expect to hit Britain with rain and winds up to 70mph in the run-up to Christmas Day Wednesday Dec. 23, 2015. The bad weather has prompted weather warnings from the Met Office and fears of further flooding in the North, as well as concerns about effects on transport and communication links.
Photo by Owen Humphreys
Dengue fever, the world's fastest growing mosquito-borne disease, has spread its wings and morphed from a tropical disease endemic in just nine countries to worldwide threat.
Globalisation, urbanisation, climate change and jet travel have enabled it to move into more temperate zones.
Dengue fever is a flu-like infection caused by the flavivirus; it is in the same family as yellow fever.
The number of dengue cases has risen 30-fold over the last 50 years, according to the WHO, making it the world's fastest-growing mosquito-borne disease and leaving more than half of the global population at risk.
There is currently no specific treatment for dengue fever.
Russia's Central Bank on Wednesday issued a banknote depicting famous landmarks of Crimea, commemorating last year's annexation of the peninsula that was slammed by the West and led to sanctions against Moscow.
The banknote with the denomination of 100 rubles (about $1.40. 1.29 euros) is "dedicated to Crimea and Sevastopol becoming a part of the Russian Federation," the Central Bank said in a statement.
The beige note depicts famous architectural landmarks of Crimea and Sevastopol, the Black Sea city where Russia's Black Sea fleet has a base. Twenty million of such banknotes have been issued, the bank said.
Russia formally "annexed" Crimea in March 2014 by a controversial referendum after sending special forces troops there to take over key institutions and military bases.
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