Marc Dion: Candidates Walk into a Bar (Creators Syndicate)
Donald Trump. Drinks top-shelf liquor. Tips well, but you have to listen to him tell you about how good his business is doing, how rich he is, how hot his wife is, how well he plays golf and how he got the better of everyone who ever tried to "screw" him.
Lenore Skenazy: Let's Not Be Elder-Hostile (Creators Syndicate)
Why do grandparents and their grandchildren get along so well? They share a common enemy. OK. Old joke. But the truth is, they share another common enemy that is not a relative. It's risk. When it comes to kids and seniors alike, society's goal seems to be creating a zero-risk existence. This is as pointless and insulting for the older generation as it is for the younger.
Lenore Skenazy: Too Much School (Creators Syndicate)
In ancient times - say, the '60s, '70s or maybe even the '80s - children were expected to waste a good deal of their time. They'd spend hours riding their bikes to nowhere, or drawing with chalk. Their parents didn't worry that this meant they were going to end up drug addicts, or at least at a second-tier college. But that was before something began taking over all waking hours of the day. School.
Lois Of The Pits replied:
Italy is the second largest producer of peaches in the world!?! THAT explains why they renamed her Princess Peach, I guess.
Italy is the 2nd largest producer of peaches. The USA is #3.
Lois, loved the mustache memes. Thanks!
The rain began Friday night and continued into today. Sure made it easy to work on taxes. We're this ( ) close to finishing. Filing tomorrow and then some play time.
Joe S answered:
Italy is number 2. The only peach worth eating is the freestone peach, the Elberta (named for Elberta, Michigan). So China is the largest peach producer in the world and California is the state that produces the most peaches, but Michigan, principally Northwest Lower Michigan, produces the best tasting peaches in the world. Fact.
Wherever your peaches are grown, be it California, or Georgia, or South Carolina or Michigan, be aware of how that fruit got to your table.
Dale of Diamond Springs, Norspringcali took the day off.
Patriot Act NSA Spying Unconstitutional Section 215 National Security Letters Must End
My name is Marc Perkel and I have decided to announce that I will not comply with the so called "Patriot Act" laws requiring me to disclose information about my customers. If I receive a national security letter I will immediately photograph it, post it online everywhere I can, and then make a video of me burning it. I will then await my arrest. If you want to put me in jail then come get me mother fucker.
CBS starts the night with '60 Minutes', followed by a FRESH'Madam Secretary', then a FRESH'Elementary', followed by a FRESH'Elementary'.
NBC opens the night with a RERUN'Little Big Shots', followed by a FRESH'Little Big Shots', then a FRESH'The Carmichael Show', followed by a FRESH'Crowded', then 'Dateline'.
ABC begins the night with a FRESH'America's So-Called Funniest Home Videos', followed by a FRESH'Once Upon A Time', then a FRESH'The Family', followed by a FRESH'Quantico'.
The CW offers an old 'Person Of Interest', followed by an old 'Elementary', then 2½ hours of what passes for local news and other fluffery.
Faux has a FRESH'Bordertown', followed by a FRESH'Cooper Barrett's Guide To Surviving Life', then a FRESH'The Simpsons', followed by a FRESH'Bob's Burgers', then a RERUN'Family Guy', followed by a FRESH'The Last Man On Earth'.
MY has an old 'Anger Management', followed by another old 'Anger Management', then an old 'Big Bang Theory', followed by another old 'Big Bang Theory', then still another old 'Big Bang Theory', followed by yet another old 'Big Bang Theory'.
A&E has 'Intervention', another 'Intervention', 'Intervention: Codependent', followed by a FRESH'Intervention'.
AMC offers 'Fear The Walking Dead', another 'Fear The Walking Dead', followed by a FRESH'Fear The Walking Dead', then a FRESH'Talking Dead'.
[6:00AM] HIDDEN HABITATS - SEASON 1 - EPISODE 1-Galapagos
[6:30AM] HIDDEN HABITATS - SEASON 1 - EPISODE 2-Serengeti
[7:00AM] HIDDEN HABITATS - SEASON 1 - EPISODE 3-Namib Desert
[7:30AM] HIDDEN HABITATS - SEASON 1 - EPISODE 4-Monterey Bay
[8:00AM] HIDDEN HABITATS - SEASON 1 - EPISODE 5-Canada's Coastal Forests
[8:30AM] HIDDEN HABITATS - SEASON 1 - EPISODE 6-Great Barrier Reef
[9:00AM] NATURE'S WEIRDEST - SEASON 4 - Episode 1
[10:00AM] NATURE'S WEIRDEST - SEASON 4 - Episode 2
[11:00AM] NATURE'S WEIRDEST - SEASON 4 - Episode 3
[12:00PM] THE MATRIX (1999)
[3:00PM] THE MATRIX RELOADED (2003)
[6:00PM] THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS (2003)
[9:00PM] APOCALYPTO (2006)
[12:00AM] APOCALYPTO (2006)
[3:00AM] NATURE'S WEIRDEST - SEASON 4 - EPISODE 1-Episode 1
[4:00AM] NATURE'S WEIRDEST - SEASON 4 - Episode 2
[5:00AM] NATURE'S WEIRDEST - SEASON 4 - Episode 3 (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has a FRESH'Atlanta Social', followed by a FRESH'Real Housewives Of Atlanta', then a FRESH'The Shahs Of Sunset', followed by a FRESH'Real Housewives Of Potomac'.
Comedy Central has 'Kevin Hart: Seriously Funny', followed by the FRESH'2016 MTV Movie Awards', and 'Nikki Glaser; Perfect'.
FX has the movie 'Identity Thief', followed by the movie 'The Heat', then the movie 'The Heat', again.
[6:00AM] THAT '70S SHOW-A Legal Matter
[6:30AM] BANGKOK DANGEROUS
[11:00AM] VALHALLA RISING
[1:00PM] CONAN THE BARBARIAN
[3:45PM] CONAN THE DESTROYER
[1:00AM] CONAN THE BARBARIAN
[3:45AM] CONAN THE DESTROYER (ALL TIMES EDT)
[7:00AM] The Virgin Suicides
[9:00AM] Sleepless in Seattle
[11:30AM] The Breakfast Club
[1:45PM] What About Bob?
[4:00PM] A League of Their Own
[7:00PM] The Horse Whisperer
[10:00PM] All Is Lost
[12:30AM] The Horse Whisperer
[3:30AM] William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet (ALL TIMES EDT)
SyFy has the movie 'The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe', followed by the movie 'Oz The Great & Powerful'.
Actress Julianne Moore attends the 2016 Variety's Power of Women: New York, presented by Lifetime, at Cipriani Midtown on Friday, April 8, 2016, in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)" title="Actress Julianne Moore attends the 2016 Variety's Power of Women: New York, presented by Lifetime, at Cipriani Midtown on Friday, April 8, 2016, in New York.
Photo by Evan Agostini
He gave a warm acceptance speech on stage Friday but rocker Steve Miller's rant behind the scenes of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony was anything but.
The 72-year-old musician, who performed popular hits during the ceremony including Fly Like an Eagle and The Joker, ripped into the rock hall for what he described as an "unpleasant" system.
"The whole process needs to be changed from the top to the bottom," the guitarist and revered singer-songwriter told reporters in the press room after the ceremony.
"When they told me I was inducted, they told me 'you can have two tickets - one for your wife and one for yourself. Want another one? It's $10,000, sorry that's the way it goes,'", he recounted. "I said 'I'm playing here, what about my band, what about their wives?'"
"No, we're not going to wrap this one up - I'm going to wrap you up," he said to a public relations liaison who attempted to interrupt him.
The US military said it has helped rescue three stranded men from a deserted Pacific island, after the shipmen used palm fronds to spell the word "HELP" and held up lifejackets.
Navy airplane crew members spotted the survivors and shared their location with relatives as well as with ships in Guam. A small boat then picked the men up and took them to Pulap in Micronesia, the US Coast Guard said Thursday.
The mariners were back to safety on Thursday, three days after going missing. Authorities did not provide any further details about the men.
The Navy crew aboard a P-8 Madfox 807 and vessels had been searching for the men in the area of the last known location of their skiff.
A team of adventurers has retraced the 1,100-kilometre dogsled journey Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen made in 1905 to find a telegraph to tell the world he had successfully navigated the Northwest Passage.
Tim Oakley and his three-man, 22-dog team endured four weeks of extreme terrain and frigid temperatures to travel from Hershel Island - which lies about five kilometres off the coast of the Yukon and is considered the territory's northernmost point - to Eagle, Alaska.
Last month they arrived in Eagle, becoming the first people to successfully recreate the trip Amundsen had done 111 years prior.
Oakley started planning the expedition more than four years ago, after a visit to the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich, England.
After years trying to buy the property from its private owner, the Austrian government wants to seize the house where Adolf Hitler was born to prevent it falling into neo-Nazi hands.
The decision was made after years of discussions and fruitless attempts to buy the property, he said, adding that the owner would be compensated for losing ownership.
Hitler was born in the house in Brunau am Inn on April 20, 1889. It was made the subject of an historic preservation order by Germany's National Socialist regime in 1938 after being purchased by the Nazi government.
After being returned to the Pommer family in 1952, the house passed into Gerlinde Pommer's hands in 1977.
The Austrian state has rented the property since 1972 and used it as a daycare center for people with disabilities but it has stood empty since 2011 after Pommer refused to allow work to be undertaken to improve accessibility.
Prosecutors Detail Sex-Abuse Allegations Against Sweaty Wrestler™
Dennis Hastert agreed to pay $3.5 million to a person the former House speaker sexually abused when the victim was a 14-year-old wrestler on a team coached by Hastert, prosecutors said in a court filing that details allegations by five former students.
The filing Friday night is the first time prosecutors have confirmed Hastert paid hush-money to conceal sex abuse. It chronicles a chain of deception that began with Hastert exploiting his position of trust as a teacher and coach and carried on years later to include lying to bank officials and making false claims of extortion to the FBI to conceal his wrongdoing.
The filing recommends that a federal judge sentence Hastert to up to six months in prison for violating banking laws as he sought to pay one of his victims, identified in court documents as "Individual A," to ensure the person kept quiet. The sex-abuse allegations date to Hastert's time at Yorkville High School in the Chicago suburb of Yorkville from 1965 to 1981.
Prosecutors say Hastert still was abusing boys when he first decided to run for office, but the now-74-year-old Republican managed to keep any hint of sexual misconduct quiet throughout a political career that carried him from the Illinois Legislature to the halls of Congress and eventually to the speaker's office, where he was second in the line of succession to the presidency.
Individual A is one of at least four people cited in the filing as saying that Hastert sexually abused them as children. Three were wrestlers and the fourth was a student-manager on the team Hastert coached. Another wrestler said Hastert touched his genitals while he was on a locker room massage table, but he wasn't sure if it was intentional.
Members of the US rock band Chicago, (L-R) James Pankow, Walter Parazaider, Lee Loughnane and Robert Lamm pose for photographers at the 31st Annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York, April 8, 2016.
Jeff Ross,from left, Richard Belzer, and Jim Carrey, right, joke with entertainer Jerry Lewis at the Friars Club before his 90th birthday celebration on Friday, April 8, 2016, in New York.
Photo by Brad Barket
Wisconsin's right-to-work law, championed by Republican Gov. Scott Walker as he was mounting his run for president, was struck down Friday as violating the state constitution.
Attorney General Brad Schimel promised to appeal the decision and said he was confident it would not stand, noting that no similar law has been struck down in any other state. Schimel, also a Republican, has not decided whether to seek an immediate suspension of the ruling while the appeal is pending, spokesman Johnny Koremenos said.
Right-to-work laws prohibit businesses and unions from reaching agreements that require all workers, not just union members, to pay union dues. Twenty-five other states have such laws.
Three unions filed the lawsuit last year shortly after Walker signed the bill into law. They argued that Wisconsin's law was an unconstitutional seizure of union property since they now must extend benefits to workers who don't pay dues.
The 17-year-old daughter of late actor Paul Walker has reached a $10.1 million settlement with the estate of the man driving the car that crashed and killed them both in 2013, her attorney said on Friday.
Walker was a passenger in a 2005 Porsche Carrera GT driven by Roger Rodas when the car, traveling at speeds of 80 to 93 miles per hour (129 to 150 kilometers per hour), careened into trees and a utility pole in Santa Clarita, northwest of Los Angeles.
Meadow Walker's attorney, Jeff Milam, said in a statement that the settlement would go into a trust for the teen.
The settlement, reached in November 2014, went unnoticed for nearly a year and half because it was filed under "Meadow W.", according to celebrity news website TMZ, which first reported the story.
Artist Ana Teresa Fernandez (in black) and members of cultural organization "Border/Arte" paint the border fence to give it the illusion of transparency during "Borrando la Frontera" (Erasing the Border) art project, at the border between Mexico and the U.S. in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, April 9, 2016. "Erasing the Border" took place during this day in Baja California, Sonora and Ciudad Juarez, according to the group.
Photo by Jose Luis Gonzalez
A prank caller tricked workers at a Minnesota Burger King into smashing the windows of the restaurant to keep it from exploding, police said Saturday, mirroring similar deceptions at Burger Kings and other fast-food restaurants in other states in recent months.
Police said employees at the restaurant in the Minneapolis suburb of Coon Rapids got the call Friday night from someone claiming to be with the fire department. The caller said the restaurant could explode, so they needed to relieve the pressure. The manager and other employees believed the caller and smashed all the windows on the ground floor.
"Officers arrived and found that the manager and employees of the Burger King were smashing out the windows," Sgt. Rick Boone told the Star Tribune. "The manager explained they'd received a phone call from a male who identified himself as a fireman who said there were dangerous levels of gas in the building and they had to break out all the windows to keep the building from blowing up."
Someone placed a similar call to a Burger King in Shawnee, Oklahoma, on Thursday night, claiming there were high levels of carbon monoxide in the building. KFOR-TV in Oklahoma City reported that the window damage there was estimated at $10,000.
A similar call to Burger King in Morro Bay, California, about a purported gas leak in early February resulted in $35,000 in damage. Not only did employees smash the windows, but a manager went as far as ramming his car into building. And police in Tucson, Arizona, say several similar prank calls were placed to Jack in the Box restaurants there in early February, fooling workers at one store. A similar incident happened at a Wendy's in Phoenix in late January.
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