Recommended Reading
from Bruce
Marc Dion: Junkie the Rodeo Clown (Creators Syndicate)
It's a big world, and everyone is going somewhere, melting their lives like ice cubes, being someone's baby, being poor, being addicted, annoying the $8 an hour clerk in a coffee shop just across from a used clothing store run by an evangelical church.
Froma Harrop: "Lawsuits and Defensive Medicine: The Reality" (Creators Syndicate)
Next thing you know, the physician is ordering an X-ray. That takes five minutes, whereas arguing with the patient would have consumed 15. Besides, if there's a one-in-a-zillion chance that some exotic disease is causing the ankle pain, the doctor may be at risk of a medical malpractice suit. So the physician does the defensive thing and orders more tests than deemed medically warranted.
Lucy Mangan: fracking idiots (Guardian)
'Governments should never support something that has a name so semantically suggestive.'
Froma Harrop: If You Drink, Don't Enjoy It (Creators Syndicate)
An unapologetic drinker, writer H.L. Mencken blamed Prohibition on American moralists' distaste for happiness. "A Puritan is not against bullfighting because of the pain it gives the bull," he wrote, "but because of the pleasure it gives the spectators."
Ask a grown-up: why are human poos so huge? (Guardian)
Embarrassing Bodies' Dr Dawn Harper answers eight-year-old Mathilde's question.
Oliver Burkeman: Don't die without an action plan (Guardian)
The next time you're struck by some insight into life's true meaning, don't worry about preserving the feeling. Reach for a pen and list two or three things you could do about it. The way to avoid regretting losing touch with friends is to select some of them, dig out their numbers, then call them.
Gladstone: 5 Steps to Get From Freelance Writer to Published Author (Cracked)
#4. Learn the Rules
Certain Doctor Who Phrases and how Olive Garden Customers React: An Experiment Done by a Server
As a server, I did an experiment tonight, I was saying basically only Doctor Who quotes to my tables, some understood, others did not. These are a few of the phrases and people's reactions: [When greeting tables] "Oh hello! I'm The Doctor! I am here to help! Look, they gave me a badge with my name on it in case I forget who I am! Very thoughtful as that does happen." Lots of confused faces. Many people laughed. The few who got the reference clapped, laughed, or smiled all big like. One girl who got the reference gave me the biggest smile I've ever seen, later I would receive her number.
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Reader Suggestion
Michelle in AZ
From The Creator of 'Avery Ant'
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny and breezy.

Cops Ran Out of Free Doritos in 10 Minutes
Seattle
On a day where free Doritos and pot aficionados join forces, it's only obvious that people who might be suffering from the munchies would want to get their hands a little dirty with some orange-y goodness.
But when the salty, cheesy snacks are free? Forget about it.
The Seattle Police Department descended on the city's annual Hempfest, which celebrates marijuana culture, to put into action a plan dubbed "Operation Orange Fingers."
In a move to draw attention to marijuana usage rules and restrictions in the state, officers handed out free Doritos with stickers about pot laws stuck on the bags. Not only delicious, but educational, each bag displayed a sticker of do's and don'ts of I-502, Washington's ballot measure that legalized the possession of marijuana in November.
But Seattle police found themselves at a serious deficit soon after they started sharing their chip stash with the Hempfest crowd. They managed to dole out the entire stash of free Doritos in about 10 minutes, according to the department's Twitter account.
Seattle

Celebrating Lovecraft
NecronomiCon
If you've enjoyed the works of Stephen King, seen the films "Alien" or "Prometheus," or heard about the fictional Arkham Asylum in Batman, thank H.P. Lovecraft, the early 20th century horror writer whose work has been an inspiration to others for nearly a century.
The mythos Lovecraft created in stories such as "The Call of Cthulhu," ''The Case of Charles Dexter Ward" and "At the Mountains of Madness," has reached its tentacles deep into popular culture, so much that his creations and the works they inspired may be better known than the Providence writer himself.
Lovecraft's fans want to give the writer his due, and this month are holding what they say is the largest celebration ever of his work and influence. It's billed the "NecronomiCon," named after a Lovecraft creation: a book that was so dark and terrible that a person could barely read a few pages before going insane. The Aug. 22-25 convention is being held in Providence, where he lived and died - poor and obscure - at age 46 in 1937.
Besides a brief and unhappy marriage that took him to New York from 1924 to 1926, Lovecraft lived his whole life on Providence's East Side, close to Brown University. He wrote his most significant work after returning to Providence, publishing many of his stories in the magazine Weird Tales. He barely scraped together a living, but developed a wide network with fellow writers through letters, and wrote an estimated 80,000 of them in his lifetime.
Lovecraft said several times he could not live anywhere but Providence, a sentiment reflected in the gravestone his fans put up decades after his death: "I AM PROVIDENCE," a line they took from letters he wrote. The grave in a city cemetery is often visited today by fans, who leave trinkets or notes behind.
NecronomiCon
Becomes 2 Newspaper Town
Long Beach
The latest experiment in American journalism is a throwback: a new daily newspaper to compete against an established one in a big city.
With Monday's debut of the Long Beach Register, the ambitious owners of the Orange County Register (R-Bird-Cage-Liner) are expanding their bet that consumers will reward an investment in news inked on paper and delivered to their doorsteps.
The competition is the Long Beach Press-Telegram (R-Fish Wrap), which was founded more than a century ago and maintains an average weekday circulation of about 55,000.
As a result of the budding newspaper battle, this city of 468,000 is joining the likes of Chicago, Philadelphia and Boston as what has become a rarity in 21st century America - the two newspaper town. Never mind shrinking circulations and online news migration.
Long Beach

The Worst Videos Online
BoooTube
If you're sick of watching stellar videos on YouTube, your prayers have been answered: someone has collected together the worst-rated videos for your viewing pleasure.
BoooTube has lovingly curated the most down-voted video clips from YouTube to feature on the website. It isn't just low-rated videos, though. They're looking for the clips that have captured the attention of thousands, downvoted many, many times, proving that these unwatchable videos were nevertheless watched, and judged to be sub-par.
So if you've exhausted all the quality videos online, head over to BoooTube and remember what awful videos have been uploaded too. The site features Staff Picks for worst videos, including classics like the 'Controversial Baby Dynamics Yoga' (and judging by some of the YouTube comments, BoooTube has renewed interest in this and many other poorly-rated videos):
The site is extremely basic, and doesn't explain the methodology of the project beyond "the worst on YouTube," as determined by THEY, a brand development company based in Amsterdam and Dehli.
BoooTube
The Man Vs. The App
Chubby Checker
The musician famous for the Twist dance style can sue Hewlett Packard Co over allegations that the tech company used his trademarked name "Chubby Checker" on a software app that purports to measure a man's genitals.
In a ruling on Thursday, U.S. District Judge William Alsup in San Francisco ruled that Ernest Evans - known professionally as Chubby Checker - can move forward with trademark infringement claims against HP and its Palm unit.
HP began offering "The Chubby Checker" app for sale in 2006, which purports to estimate the size of a man's genitals based on his shoe size, according to the ruling. "The name 'Chubby Checker' is thus used as a vulgar pun," Alsup wrote.
In an effort to dismiss the lawsuit, HP claimed that Evans failed to allege HP knew of the infringement. Alsup rejected that argument, saying Evans properly alleged that HP had a detailed application and approval process for the app, and thus knew it violated the trademark.
Chubby Checker

Celebrity Photographers For Class Photos
Los Angeles
There's a common belief that people in Los Angeles don't exactly live the way the rest of the world does. After all, this is the city that spawned the celebrity culture that later spawned the tabloid magazine feature: Stars Are Just Like Us!, a photo series featuring celebrities engaged in a host of activities that generally disprove that very thesis.
In many cases, the good people of L.A. are just regular humans getting on with their day like everyone else (albeit in much better weather and with shinier cars).
In a few isolated cases, however, the original belief gets revisited. As the Hollywood Reporter notes, a handful of private schools in the L.A. area have started bringing in celebrity photographers to shoot their pupils' class portraits.
According to the publication, Vince Bucci, a talented lensman who has snapped portraits of Avril Lavigne and Kim Kardashian, has been hired to immortalize the bright smiles of wealthy offspring at L.A.'s Wildwood and Westside Neighborhood schools.
Dennis Kleiman, a New York-based photographer who has shot The White Stripes, Denis Leary and Ozzy Osbourne, will be flying down to "bring an editorial edge" to the photo packages at The Willows, Hollywood Schoolhouse and Temple Israel of Hollywood this fall.
Los Angeles
Ancient Andean Diet
Bolivia
Bolivian indigenous farmer Carmelo Flores, who could be the oldest person to have ever lived, attributes his longevity to quinoa grains, riverside mushrooms and around-the-clock chewing of coca leaves.
Speaking in the 4,000-metre (13,123-feet) high hamlet where he lives in a straw-roofed hut, Flores says the traditional Andean diet has kept him alive for 123 years.
"Potatoes with quinoa are delicious," said Flores in Aymara, the only language the nearly deaf man speaks.
While Flores is still strong enough to take daily walks in shoes made of recycled tires, he spends most of his time laying on a blanket watching village life go by.
But his life was not always as sedentary. Flores said he fought in the brutal 1932-35 Chaco War between Bolivia and Paraguay, and had to hunt skunks to nourish himself.
Bolivia

Defends Aspartame
Coca-Cola
Coca-Cola has unleashed a series of new print ads in the U.S. aimed at debunking what they claim are the unfounded negative health effects of aspartame and other artificial sweeteners used in their diet products, including Diet Coke.
Diet Coke plans to reassure consumers about the safety of its products amid sagging sales. Entitled, "Quality Products You Can Always Feel Good About," the ad -- which will run in USA Today, Atlanta Journal Constitution and the Chicago Tribune -- highlights the supposed benefits of low-calorie and artificial sweeteners, reports the Associated Press.
However, aspartame's safety has been disputed by other studies, which have been backed by reputable public health organizations, such as the Center for Science in the Public Interest. CSPI, whose advisory board consists of numerous medical doctors, considers aspartame to be a carcinogen and does not recommend its use as a food additive.
"Three independent studies have found that aspartame causes cancer. These studies, in our view, are superior to earlier, industry-sponsored studies that found it did not cause cancer because they used a larger pool of subjects and a more sensitive protocol," says Lisa Lefferts, senior scientist for CSPI, about studies that were conducted on mice and rats.
The CSPI website states that these studies "should be reason enough for the FDA (and other governments) to eliminate aspartame from the food supply."
Coca-Cola
Weird Waves Traced to Japan Earthquake
Norway
On a calm winter's day in Norway two years ago, the sea suddenly started to boil and rise, sending freak waves rolling onto nearby shores and mystifying residents. Turns out, the massive magnitude-9.0 earthquake that shook Japan in 2011 also triggered these surprise seiche waves, a new study shows.
Seiche (pronounced saysh) waves are standing waves that form in closed or semi-enclosed water basins, such as Norway's narrow, steep-walled fjords. Smaller examples of standing waves include water sloshing in a bathtub from a wriggly child, or in a swimming pool after an earthquake.
The roiling seas surprised and shocked Norwegians when the waves rolled in after 7 a.m. local time on March 11, said lead study author Stein Bondevik, a geologist at Sogn og Fjordane University College in Sogndal, Norway. The waves measured nearly 5 feet (1.5 meters) from trough to crest (their lowest to highest point). No damage was reported, however. "Luckily, they happened at low tide," Bondevik said.
A tsunami expert, Bondevik was called on by local media to explain the source of the surge. Bondevik said he first thought an underwater landslide generated the waves. "They looked like tsunamis," he said. But as the day wore on, more reports of coastal flooding came in from faraway fjords, blowing a hole in his landslide theory.
"Later in the evening I realized there must be a connection with the big earthquake in Japan," Bondevik told LiveScience. "I was so excited I couldn't sleep that night thinking about it."
Norway

10 Worst of All Time
Tech Predictions
In the technology world, bold predictions abound, and they should. Placing big bets in one direction or another is how this industry works. Some pundits try to make educated guesses about where tech is headed, while others prognosticate in reaction to disruptive technologies that could boost (or threaten) their business.
As we all know, foretelling what's going to happen in 5, 10 or 30 years is pretty much impossible, but some predictions are so spectacularly wrong that they should be immortalized. That's why I've selected these gems from some of the biggest names, publications and research firms to present the 10 worst tech predictions of all time. A couple of these timelines haven't yet passed, but I feel comfortable predicting them as total fails now.
The iPhone Has No Chance
Who Needs a Home PC?
For the rest - Tech Predictions
Weekend Box Office
'The Butler'
"Lee Daniels' The Butler" is serving up success at the box office.
Starring Forest Whitaker as a longtime White House butler and Oprah Winfrey as his boozy wife, the Weinstein Co. biopic debuted in the top spot with $25 million, according to studio estimates Sunday. But the weekend's three other major new releases, including the action romp "Kick-Ass 2," failed to find traction with fans.
Even with a full slate of newcomers, last week's top movies claimed the second and third spots in the box-office race. The Jason Sudeikis-Jennifer Aniston Warner Bros. comedy, "We're the Millers," held onto second place in its second week of release with $17.78 million, while last week's No. 1, Sony's "Elysium," dropped to third with $13.6 million.
"Kick-Ass 2," Universal's tale of everyday teenagers who dress up as superhero crime-fighters, opened in fourth place with $13.56 million. Open Road's Steve Jobs biopic, "Jobs," debuted in seventh place with $6.7 million. And Relativity's "Paranoia," which stars Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman and Liam Hemsworth, didn't crack the top 12.
Estimated ticket sales for Friday through Sunday at U.S. and Canadian theaters, according to Hollywood.com. Where available, latest international numbers are also included. Final domestic figures will be released on Monday.
1. "Lee Daniels' The Butler," $25 million.
2. "We're the Millers," $17.78 million ($10.6 million international).
3. "Elysium," $13.6 million ($22 million international).
4. "Kick-Ass 2," $13.56 million ($6.3 million international).
5. "Planes," $13.14 million ($7.3 million international).
6. "Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters," $8.37 million ($21.8 million international).
7. "Jobs," $6.7 million.
8. "2 Guns," $5.57 million ($2.1 million international).
9. "The Smurfs 2," $4.6 million ($20 million international).
10. "The Wolverine," $4.42 million ($10.8 million international).
'The Butler'

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