S. Crowl, Ryan Menezes: 5 Things You Learn Surviving An F5 Tornado (Cracked)
… on May 20, 2013, [on May 20, 2013, […] the country's biggest tornado in years landed in Moore, Oklahoma. It obliterated more than 1,000 homes, flung a 10-ton oil tank onto a school a half a mile away, and killed people as they hid in showers, in bathtubs, and in closets. We sat down with one woman whose family narrowly survived that storm to find out what it's like to be at ground zero when the weather tries to assassinate you …
Anonymous, Evan V. Symon: "Bribing Kids: 5 Realities Of Planning Rich Kid Birthdays" (Cracked)
It doesn't take much to make a kid happy on their special day. Some cake, some balloons, a drunk guy in a Captain America costume suddenly regretting all of his life choices -- bada bing, bada boom, you gotta birthday. But just like with cars and prostitutes, it takes the jaded, detached ultra-rich a little extra to get off. We spoke to a party planner in one of the wealthiest counties in the United States, and she told us ...
Captain Kangaroo is an American children's television series that aired weekday mornings on the American television network CBS for nearly 30 years, from October 3, 1955 until December 8, 1984, making it the longest-running nationally broadcast children's television program of its day.
The show was conceived and the title character played by Bob Keeshan, who based the show on "the warm relationship between grandparents and children". Keeshan had portrayed the original Clarabell the Clown on The Howdy Doody Show when it aired on NBC. Captain Kangaroo had a loose structure, built around life in the "Treasure House" (later known as "The Captain's Place") where the Captain (the name "kangaroo" came from the big pockets in his coat) would tell stories, meet guests, and indulge in silly stunts with regular characters, both humans and puppets.
Cast:
Bob Keeshan as Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Pennywhistle, and The Town Clown
Hugh "Lumpy" Brannum as Mr. Green Jeans, the New Old Folk Singer, Percy, Uncle Backwards, Mr. McGregor, and Mr. Bainter the Painter
Cosmo ("Gus") Allegretti as Mr. Bunny Rabbit and Mr. Moose (both of which he also created), Dennis the Apprentice, Miss Frog, Mr. Whispers, Dancing Bear, Grandfather Clock and Uncle Ralph. He was the voice of Aniforms puppet TV Fred (a live-action on-screen puppet that appeared behind the blackboard in the Treasure House), and was the artist behind the Magic Drawing Board.
Source
mj was first, and correct, with:
It's been a long time
But that looks like Gradfather Clock from the Treasure House.
Lois (Hey don't mind me, I'm drunk) Of Oregon wrote:
My grandfather's clock was too large for the shelf
So it stood ninety years on the floor
It was taller by half than the old man himself
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more
It was bought on the morn of the day that he was born
And was always his treasure and pride
But it stopped, short never to go again
When the old man died...
But although he was dead, he became the old clock's head,
He could see, he could talk, and he could screw.
It was sick, it was wrong, but he knew he could belong,
Banging Mr. Moose and Captain Kangaroo!
And though angels above came to cure him with god's love
There was nothing at all that they could do
'Cause the clock said, "I'm already dead,
So, hey, fuck you.
Oh yeah, I REMEMBER that creepy clock! The stuff of nightmares!
Who remembers what the picture of David McCallum and Edward Mulhare is from?
STEPHEN F said:
Grand Father Clock
Alan J replied:
Grandfather Clock.
Randall responded:
Adam answered:
As a guess I say Grandfather Clock from Captain Kangaroo.
Kevin K. in Washington, DC wrote:
This seems like a trick question.
He was Captain Kangaroo's grandfather clock, and his name was...Grandfather
Clock.
Deborah said:
I don't know how I forgot to answer - I enjoy PDQ Bach and knew the answer (no, really).
I recognize that clock but maybe I'm under-caffeinated; my memory cell isn't sending the answer to my fingers.
Maybe later it'll come to me.
I've been up 2-½ hrs. and I already need a nap.
Jim from CA, retired to ID, responded:
Grandfather Clock
Walt replied:
Clocky?
I think it was from simpler times and the answer is obvious,
Grandfather Clock.
Dale of Diamond Hot Springs, Norcali answered:
Captain Kangaroo's Grandfather Clock while Smoking Cigarettes Watching Captain Kangaroo.
DJ Useo answered:
I recognize "Grandfather Clock" from The CAPTAIN KANGAROO SHOW.
As a young lad, my mom would plant me in front of the television while she did the chores.
That show was one of my favorites. Haven't watched it since I was a kid.
I also liked Bozo & The Ray Rayner Show. Where are the dvd's?
Patriot Act NSA Spying Unconstitutional Section 215 National Security Letters Must End
My name is Marc Perkel and I have decided to announce that I will not comply with the so called "Patriot Act" laws requiring me to disclose information about my customers. If I receive a national security letter I will immediately photograph it, post it online everywhere I can, and then make a video of me burning it. I will then await my arrest. If you want to put me in jail then come get me mother fucker.
CBS begins the night with a RERUN'Elementary', followed by a RERUN'Hawaii Five-0', then a RERUN'Blue Bloods'.
The programming geniuses at CBS are filling Dave's hour with reruns of 'NCIS: The Third One'.
On a RERUNJames Corden, OBE, (from 6/11/15) are Kit Harrington, David Duchovny, and Tamia.
NBC starts the night with a RERUN'America's Got Talent', followed by 'Dateline'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Fallon are Ryan Seacrest, Trevor Noah, and Tig Notaro.
On a RERUNSeth Meyers (from 6/23/15) are Colin Farrell, Matt Bomer, and Maria Bartiromo.
On a RERUNCarson 'The Scab' Daly (from 2/12/15) are Spike Lee, Gap Dream, and Tomm Moore.
ABC opens the night with a RERUN'Shark Tank', followed by 'What Would You Do?', then '20/20'.
On a RERUNJimmy Kimmel (from 6/30/15) are Kathy Griffin, Rob Corddry, and Everclear.
The CW offers a FRESH'Masters Of Illusion', followed by a RERUN'Whose Line Is It Anyway?', then a FRESH'The Messengers'.
Faux has a RERUN'MasterChef', followed by a RERUN'Gotham'.
MY recycles an old 'Bones', followed by another old 'Bones'.
AMC offers the movie 'The Dark Knight', followed by the movie 'The Dark Knight', again.
BBC -
[6:00AM] Cash in the Attic - Season 18 - Ep 25 - Devine
[7:00AM] Cash in the Attic - Season 18 - Ep 26 - Stedman
[8:00AM] Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares UK - Season 1 - Ep 4 - Moore Place
[9:00AM] Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares US - Season 6 - Ep 9 - Nino's Italian Restaurant
[10:00AM] Doctor Who - Season 5 - Ep 10 - Vincent and The Doctor
[11:00AM] Doctor Who - Season 5 - Ep 11 - The Lodger
[12:00PM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 3 - Ep 9 - The Vengeance Factor
[1:00PM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 3 - Ep 10 - The Defector
[2:00PM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 5 - Ep 24 - The Next Phase
[3:00PM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 5 - Ep 25 - The Inner Light
[4:00PM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 5 - Ep 26 - Time's Arrow (Part 1)
[5:00PM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 6 - Ep 1 - Time's Arrow (Part 2)
[6:00PM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 6 - Ep 2 - Realm of Fear
[7:00PM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 6 - Ep 3 - Man of the People
[8:00PM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 6 - Ep 4 - Relics
[9:00PM] The Silence of the Lambs
[11:30PM] The Silence of the Lambs
[2:00AM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 6 - Ep 1 - Time's Arrow (Part 2)
[3:00AM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 6 - Ep 2 - Realm of Fear
[4:00AM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 6 - Ep 3 - Man of the People
[5:00AM] Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 6 - Ep 4 - Relics (ALL TIMES EST)
Bravo has 'Real Housewives Of NYC', another 'Real Housewives Of NYC', followed by the movie 'Baby Mama'.
Comedy Central has 2 hours of old 'Key & Peele', 'Futurama', another 'Futurama', 'South Park', and another 'South Park'.
FX has the movie 'The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1', followed by the movie 'The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2', then the movie 'The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2', again.
History has 'Ancient Aliens', 'Ancient Aliens: The Ultimate Evidence', 'Ancient Aliens', and another 'Ancient Aliens'.
IFC -
[6:00AM] MARON-PATENT TROLL
[6:30AM] POLTERGEIST
[9:00AM] THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU
[11:00AM] OPEN WATER
[12:45PM] 28 DAYS LATER
[3:30PM] POLTERGEIST
[6:00PM] ALIENS VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM
[8:00PM] TRAINING DAY
[10:45PM] TRAINING DAY
[1:30AM] SAW V
[3:30AM] ALIENS VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM
[5:30AM] COMEDY BANG! BANG!-JAMES MARSDEN WEARS GRAY PANTS AND BLACK HIGH-TOP SNEAKERS (ALL TIMES EST)
Sundance -
[6:00AM] The Ledge
[8:15AM] Goodbye Solo
[10:15AM] Talk to Me
[12:45PM] Amistad
[4:00PM] Law & Order-Precious
[5:00PM] Law & Order-Virtue
[6:00PM] Law & Order-Harvest
[7:00PM] Law & Order-Nullification
[8:00PM] Law & Order-Baby, It's You
[9:00PM] Law & Order-Blood
[10:00PM] Law & Order-Shadow
[11:00PM] Law & Order-Burned
[12:00AM] Law & Order-Ritual
[1:00AM] Law & Order-Under the Influence
[2:00AM] Eden Lake
[4:00AM] The Private Lives of Pippa Lee (ALL TIMES EST)
SyFy has the movie 'Doom', followed by a FRESH'Defiance', then a FRESH'Killjoys', followed by a FRESH'Dark Matter'.
Uzo Aduba, left and Cat Deeley announce the nominees for outstanding lead actress in a limited series or a movie at the 67th Primetime Emmy Nominations Announcements at the Pacific Design Center on Thursday July 16, 2015, in West Hollywood, Calif.
Photo by Chris Pizzello
Thousands of Long Beach residents remained without power Thursday and stoplights around downtown were still dark, more than 24 36 hours after fires in three electrical vaults knocked out electricity to a section of the beachfront-port city.
Southern California Edison crews were working around the clock to restore power and hoped to have it back on to most people overnight, said Paul Grigaux, vice president of transmission, substations and operations for the utility company.
But he added that some customers might remain without electricity well into Friday, more than 48 hours after the outage occurred.
"We're hoping it won't extend beyond that, but that is a possibility," he said.
As crews work to find the sources of the outage and make repairs, they are having to periodically shut off power to as many as 11,000 other customers. But those outages only last about 30 minutes.
From left to right, Ron Wood, Mick Jagger, Charlie Watts and Keith Richards perform at the Rolling Stones concert during the Quebec Summer Festival, Wednesday, July 15, 2015, in Quebec City.
Photo by Jacques Boissinot
The idea that women may regret having an abortion has been used to support restrictions against the procedure. But a new study suggests that only very rarely do women regret having an abortion.
Researchers looked at 667 women who had abortions between 2008 and 2010 at 30 U.S. clinics. The participants answered questions about their experiences every six months for three years after the procedure. The study found that 99 percent of the women said that they felt they made the right choice in terminating their pregnancies, up to three years afterward, according to the findings published July 8 in the journal PLOS ONE.
"Claims that women suffer from psychological harm from their abortions, and that large proportions of women come to regret their abortions over time, at least in these data, are simply not true," said study researcher Corinne Rocca, an epidemiologist at the University of California, San Francisco.
Most studies that have followed up with women after they have had an abortion have been short-term studies, and they have found mixed emotions - but predominantly relief - after the procedure. Most longer-term studies have been retrospective, asking women to look back at their abortion experiences months or years later. Retrospective studies often return unreliable information, because people have a hard time remembering how they felt in the past without their current emotions biasing their memories.
In their annual, detailed physical of Earth's climate, scientists say the world is in increasingly hot and rising water.
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and the American Meteorological Society's annual state of the climate report, released Thursday, delves into the details of already reported record-smashing warmth globally in 2014, giving special attention to the world's oceans.
The report said ocean surface temperatures were the warmest in 135 years of records, with the seas holding record levels of heat energy down to 2,300 feet below the surface. Sea level also hit modern highs, partly because warmer water expands.
All sorts of warming events shifted into overdrive, especially in the Pacific. In addition to a brewing El Nino - where weather worldwide is changed by warm water in parts of the central Pacific - there was a warming of the northeast Pacific nicknamed "The Blob" and a larger scale warming called the Pacific Decadal Oscillation, which often coincides with faster warming of the planet, Johnson said.
Martha Stewart attends a special screening of "Irrational Man", hosted by The Cinema Society and Fiji Water, at the Museum of Modern Art on Wednesday, July 15, 2015, in New York.
Photo by Evan Agostini
People who live in areas near hydraulic fracturing are more likely to be hospitalized for heart conditions, neurological illnesses and cancer, according to researchers from the University of Pennsylvania and Columbia University.
Fracking is an oil and gas extraction technique using a mixture of water, chemicals and sand to break apart underground rock formations. It has triggered a surge in U.S. energy production in recent years, along with a debate over whether the process causes air and water pollution.
The study, published this week in the journal PLOS ONE, looked at hospitalization rates in parts of Pennsylvania from 2007 to 2011 and found them significantly higher in areas with fracking compared to those without.
The team found that 18 ZIP codes in its study had a well density greater than 0.79 wells per square kilometer, and residents living in these ZIP codes were predicted to have a 27 percent increase in hospitalizations for heart conditions compared to areas without any drilling. The study also showed higher rates of hospitalization for neurological illness, skin conditions and cancer.
The researchers said the study does not prove any cause and effect between drilling and health problems but that the findings "suggests that healthcare costs of hydraulic fracturing must be factored into the economic benefits of unconventional gas and oil drilling."
The death knell finally has sounded for 19 Kids and Counting. TLC officially has canceled the reality series after 15 seasons, The Hollywood Reporter has confirmed.
The reality show following the Duggar clan had been in purgatory for nearly two months following star Josh Duggar's admission in May that he molested several underage girls 12 years ago - including two of his sisters.
The move toward cancellation is no surprise, considering that TLC canceled Here Comes Honey Boo Boo in October 2014, shortly after allegations surfaced about a romantic relationship between series matriarch June Shannon and a man convicted of child molestation.
Like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, 19 Kids and Counting was one of the cable channel's biggest brands. The show had been on the air since 2008 and just had wrapped its 15th season. The profile of the Duggar family had been on the rise in recent years thanks to national magazine covers focused on the marriages and pregnancies of the Duggar children.
Dr. Philip Zimbardo attends the "The Stanford Prison Experiment" premiere at the Bow Tie Chelsea Cinemas on Wednesday, July 15, 2015, in New York.
Photo by Andy Kropa
The owner of nine Papa John's pizza franchises in the Bronx pleaded guilty Wednesday to charges including illegally taking wages from his employees, the New York state attorney general said.
Attorney General Eric Schneiderman's office said Abdul Jamil Khokhar turned himself in to authorities Wednesday morning to face charges including failure to pay wages and falsifying business records. He pleaded guilty that afternoon in a Bronx court as part of a plea agreement. He is scheduled to be sentenced Sept. 21 to 60 days in jail.
Officials said Khokhar and BMY Foods Inc. failed to pay about 300 current and former employees the minimum wage and overtime, and also filed fake quarterly tax returns to hide their actions.
Khokhar was accused of taking several steps to avoid paying proper overtime, including paying employees for any overtime in cash to avoid creating records. Authorities said he also created fake names for employees in the computer system and used the fake names to avoid paying the time-and-a-half rate required for overtime. An employee who worked for more than 40 hours would be paid for regular work hours under his or her own name, and any overtime hours would be paid as straight hours to a fictitious employee, authorities said.
Actress Sophie von Haselberg attends a special screening of "Irrational Man", hosted by The Cinema Society and Fiji Water, at the Museum of Modern Art on Wednesday, July 15, 2015, in New York.
Photo by Evan Agostini
Former Congressman Aaron Schock (R-Narnia) spent more than $1 million from his campaign account over the past three months to pay for lawyers as federal authorities investigate his use of political and taxpayer funds.
A campaign finance report released Wednesday by the Federal Election Commission also shows the Peoria Republican spent thousands of dollars on fundraising trips and events in the months after resigning, even as he was refunding money to donors and selling off campaign vehicles.
Schock stepped down in March amid mounting scrutiny of his spending, including redecorating his office in the style of TV's "Downton Abbey." Among media reports of such spending were Associated Press investigations of real estate deals, air travel and entertainment, including trips and events he documented on social media accounts.
A federal grand jury has been hearing testimony from former members of Schock's staff. Last month, FBI agents removed boxes and other items from his central Illinois campaign office.
Actor Christoph Franken as Teufel (The Devil) (C) performs on stage during a dress rehearsal of Hugo von Hofmannsthal's drama "Jedermann" (Everyman) at Domplatz square in Salzburg, Austria, July 16, 2015. The play is directed by Julian Crouch and Brian Mertes and will premiere as part of the annual Salzburg cultural Festival on July 19, 2015.
Photo by Leonhard Foeger
Tibet's spiritual leader the Dalai Lama has ridiculed China's Communist Party for wanting to control his reincarnation, saying the government is "pretending" to know more about the system than he does, the New York Times reported on Thursday.
Tibetans fear that the Chinese government will use the issue of the Dalai Lama's succession to split Tibetan Buddhism, with one new Dalai Lama named by exiles and one by the government after his death.
Tibetan Buddhism holds that the soul of a senior lama is reincarnated in the body of a child on his death. China says the tradition must continue and it must approve the next Dalai Lama.
Chinese officials, however, have stressed that the government must approve the next Dalai Lama and the current Dalai Lama has no right to abandon reincarnation.
The Nobel Peace laureate said his biggest concern was that China would name the next Dalai Lama, saying "the precedent has been set", the New York Times said.
Visitors look at an installation titled 'Scenography for a Chinese Science Fiction Opera' on display as part of exhibition 'Ming Wong: Next Year' in Beijing, China, July 16, 2015. Mimicking three dimensional stage design of traditional theatre, the Singaporean artist used wooden planks to build a futuristic set resembling the interior of a spaceship and swirling clouds. The installation is on display at the Ullens Center for Contemporary Arts until August 9.
Photo by How Hwee Young
Angela Merkel came under criticism Thursday for her awkward treatment of a young refugee brought to tears by the German chancellor's comments on asylum.
A video of the encounter Wednesday afternoon at a community event in Rostock showed the Palestinian teenager telling Merkel that her family had been waiting four years to get permanent leave to remain in Germany.
"It's really unpleasant to watch others enjoy their life and not be able to enjoy it oneself," the girl told Merkel, saying she wanted to go to university.
In response, Merkel told her "sometimes politics is hard" and Germany can't accommodate everybody who wants to come. Since the teen's family had previously lived in Lebanon, a country Germany considers safe for refugees, their chances of being allowed to stay aren't certain.
"I know it's a difficult situation, but I still want to give her a pat," the chancellor said.
A flock of American flamingos seek shelter in the shadow pockets the trees provide at the Jackson, Miss., Zoo, Thursday, July 16, 2015. The zookeepers have a variety of methods to cool down the residents of their facility ranging from handing out specially made frozen treats of juice, fruit and sports drink to spraying them down with cool water to making them a mud hole in which to cover themselves with a layer of protective mud.
Photo by Rogelio V. Solis
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took the day off.
said:
