Bartcop Entertainment - Friday, 3 May, 2002


3 May, 2002

big hammer - bigger hammer

(Updated Daily)



From 'TBH Politoons'

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In The Chaos Household

Last Night

Well, turned out not only the timing belt bit the big one, so did the water pump, too. Time to upgrade...LOL

Saw enough of 'Friends' (the non-rerun), to realize not only had the shark jumped, but it was skinned, tanned & made into hackey sacks.

'Will & Grace' seemed no more forced than sausage into a 'natural' casing.

Ozzy & Sharon were on Jay, but I didn't have the closed-captioning engaged...rats.

Tonight, Friday, CBS starts the night with a rerun of 'CSI: Crime Scene Investigation' (the one with the desert field-trip), then fresh episodes of 'First Monday', and '48 Hours'.
Scheduled on a fresh Dave are Jennifer Garner & Dave Chappelle.
Scheduled on a fresh Craiggers are Jon Favreau, Kelly Hu & Five For Fighting.

It's all fresh on NBC with 'Providence', 'Dateline', and 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
Scheduled on a fresh Jay is Paul McCartney.
Scheduled on a fresh Conan Megan Mullally, Miguel Ferrer and Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds.

It's fresh on ABC with 'American Bandstand's 50th...a Celebration!' and '20/20'.
Scheduled on a fresh Bill Maher are Michael Bolton, Molly Simms, Angela McGlowan & Bob Saget.

It's all fresh on the WB with 'Sabrina', 'Raising Dad', 'Reba' and the season finale of 'Maybe It's Me'.

Faux starts the night with a 'Simpsons' rerun, then it's 90 minutes of fresh 'Dark Angel'.

UPN has the movie 'The Glimmer Man'.

Scheduled on HBO, on a fresh Dennis Miller is Bill Maher. So cheesy it's fondue!

As they sing in 'Rocky Horror', 'Leo G. Carroll was over a barrel, as Tarantula (1955) took to the hills.... and it's on AMC. Uncredited in this treasure are a very young Clint Eastwood and music by Henry Mancini.

In what seems to be a tribute to GIANT Insects, TCM has Them! (1954) (giant ants in the LA sewers - what an improvement!). It's followed by Mothra (1962)(or Mosura in Japanese) (the fairy-twins rock!). Then, it's Black Scorpion (1957) (Ah, Mexico - the land of beautiful women, waterfalls, volcanoes & giant black scorpions!)

Anyone have any opinions?

Or reviews?

(See below for addresses)


Now Closed-Captioned For The Hearing Non-Impaired

'The Osbournes'

Did you hear the one about Ozzy Osbourne?

Hear? Sure. Understand? Not a clue. That's why the hottest show on TV - MTV's The Osbournes - is being closed-captioned for the hearing non-impaired.

When Ozzy is conscious, the quirky, fried patriarch tends to mumble between expletives in a way that only his family, and possibly chemically altered viewers, can understand.

Enter the Media Access Group. A division of Boston PBS station WGBH, it's one of the country's largest providers of closed-captioning for the hearing-impaired.

Many among MAG's 150-person staff caught Obsournes' March 5 debut, but few could decipher what the heavy-mental, er, -metal star was saying, says Mary Watkins, outreach director of the 30-year-old organization.

MAG had the inside track, given that MTV was already a client (The Real World, Road Rules). Osbournes' closed-captioning began with the March 12 episode, out of MAG's Burbank, Calif., office. (Other offices are in Boston and New York.)

Under federal law, post-1992 TVs come with built-in decoders, Watkins says. To receive closed-captioning, just choose the option via your remote control or on-screen menu. There are four caption channels - most programs, including Osbournes, are on CC1.

Now Closed-Captioned For The Hearing Non-Impaired


Big Dog Watch - 3 Versions

Bill Clinton TV

Former President Bill Clinton delivers a speech at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, campus, as part of the Barbara Greenspun Lecture Series, Monday, April 29, 2002. Photo by Sam Morris

Former President Bill Clinton met with NBC executives Wednesday in Los Angeles to discuss hosting his own talk show, according to several television sources.

Although the talks are only preliminary, one source said Clinton's interest was serious and said he was demanding a fee of $50 million a year and had aspirations "of becoming the next Oprah Winfrey."

NBC officials would not comment Wednesday. And Clinton's office in New York did not respond to an inquiry about the prospective talk show. Clinton is in Los Angeles this week for a Democratic fund-raiser, according to one person who will be attending.

Bill Clinton TV - Version 1

Television talk show viewers may be saying goodbye to Rosie O'Donnell and Sally Jesse Raphael, but are they ready to say hello to Bill Clinton? And is he ready to say hello to them?

The 55-year-old former president met NBC executives this week about the possibility of hosting a talk show of his own at the Los Angeles offices of his old friend, TV producer Harry Thomason.

There was some disagreement over who called the meeting. Clinton's spokeswoman Julia Payne confirmed that it took place but said the ex-president was listening to proposals, not demanding his own show.

Thomason was moved to issue a brief statement: "Yes, President Clinton, as he has over the years, visited our offices (Wednesday), and we were glad to let him use them for a meeting with several of his acquaintances from NBC. Concerning the $50 million referred to in the Los Angeles Times, if he doesn't want to do a talk show, I volunteer."

"President Clinton did not demand a talk show. He went to listen. The president is gratified by the range of opportunities that have been presented to him."

Thomason and his producing partner, wife Linda Bloodworth-Thomason, have known Clinton since his days as Arkansas governor and have served as political advisors at various times over the years.

Bill Clinton TV - Version 2

Bill Clinton met in Los Angeles on Wednesday with network executives about the possibility of starting his own talk show.

Talk show host Maury Povich said he would relish the opportunity to compete against Clinton, but doubts it will happen.

If Clinton were sincerely interested, he also could find himself competing with new talk shows in development starring comedian Ellen DeGeneres and Winfrey cohort Dr. Phil, who gives relationship advice.

"I'm worried about Dr. Phil," Povich said. "I don't think I have to worry about Dr. Bill."

Bill Clinton TV - Version 3


Britney's Not A Virgin & Justin's Not A Gentleman

Britney Spears

At last the truth is out - Britney Spears is not that innocent. Or that is what her former boyfriend Justin Timberlake claims. The singer, 20, built her career on the boast she would not have sex before marriage.

Britney, a strict Baptist, maintained she had not jumped into bed with any of her boyfriends.

NSYNC singer Timberlake has broken his silence on one of the most hotly debated subjects in the pop world, claiming Britney is NOT a virgin.

"Everyone thinks she is still a virgin but that is a joke," Timberlake is alleged to have told a passenger on a plane, according to The Sun.

"She lost her virginity a while ago - and I should know."

Britney Spears


Fun Link

Patriotic Posters



Bushwhacked By Oprah?


The singer is said to feel bushwhacked by the talk-show queen after Winfrey reduced her to tears during the taping of an interview that airs tomorrow. The trouble started when Oprah showed a film clip of Cher giving the eulogy for her ex-husband Sonny Bono at his 1998 funeral.

"Cher had never seen the footage and had no idea Oprah was going to run it," a source tells us. "She was shocked by it. They were acting like it was a movie performance. Cher didn't know they even were filming at the funeral."

The beloved diva was so unnerved that, when Oprah cut to a commercial, "Cher had to go back to her dressing room and reapply her false eyelashes. They had to stop the show for 45 minutes," says the source.

A rep for Oprah counters that Cher needed only five minutes to compose herself and adds that "the footage of Sonny's funeral was part of a tribute to Cher's legacy and was never intended to upset her."

Cher's spokeswoman says, "She was indeed very, very upset. Oprah apologized. She wasn't aware they hadn't told Cher ahead of time."



BartCop TV!



New Series & A Special For Comedy Central

Tracy Morgan

"Saturday Night Live's" Tracy Morgan will star in his own one-hour special for Comedy Central and host a new standup series for the cable channel.

The special, slated to premiere Aug. 26 at 10 p.m., marks the third one-hour comedy special from the web, after last summer's "Kevin James: Sweat the Small Stuff" and last month's "Jim Breuer: Hard Core."

Starting the Monday after the special, six half-hour episodes of the new series "Comic Groove" will air at 10 p.m. on the network.

Tracy Morgan


International Committee of Artists for Peace (ICAP)

Herbie Hancock & Wayne Shorter

Jazz legends Herbie Hancock, left, and Wayne Shorter perform in honor of fellow musician Carlos Santana, who received the first annual, Humanity in the Arts Peace Award from the International Committee of Artists for Peace (ICAP), Sunday, April 28, 2002, in Santa Monica, Calif. ICAP was recently formed by a group of artists, including Chairperson Patrick Duffy, Oscar and multi-Grammy Award winner Herbie Hancock, and multi-Grammy winner Wayne Shorter to honor artists who cherish their fellow man through their arts.
Photo by Ric Francis


Has A Rubber Room?

Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson says her new fiancé, Kid Rock, was "completely devastated" when she told him she has hepatitis C.

The "VIP" starlet, who asserted last month that she contracted the disease from a tattoo needle she shared with ex-husband Tommy Lee, tells Jane magazine: "I had to lock [Rock] in a rubber room for a week, 'cause he was just furious."

Though Anderson admits she's known she's had the disease "for years," her hubby-to-be has said he learned of her illness at the same time it was announced to the media.

Pamela Anderson


Funds Boston U. Scholarships

Howard Stern

When Katherine Loy and Sandra Oliveira went to the annual College of General Studies ceremony on Friday, they expected to turn in their Capstone projects and hear announcements of academic accomplishments. They didn't expect to hear their own names announced for $10,000 scholarships, and they had no idea they'd be writing thank you letters to Howard Stern.

For the next five years, the Howard Stern Scholarship Fund will award two $10,000 scholarships to Boston University CGS students continuing in broadcast journalism at the College of Communication.

CGS sophomores Loy and Oliveira both received letters saying faculty members nominated them for a scholarship and asking them to write a two-page essay about the value of their CGS education. Both said they were "shocked" after hearing their names and the awards' details announced on Friday.

"I've always been a big fan of Howard," Oliveira said. "I was surprised they actually mentioned his name [at the ceremony] because they try not to usually."

Loy said winning the scholarship will give her a "good icebreaker" to use in the future.

"For the rest of my life, I can say I got the Howard Stern scholarship," she said.

Howard Stern Scholarships


Use Your Imagination?

Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera has more body-piercings than a Marilyn Manson groupie. The pop tart's tawny flesh is penetrated in 11 places. "I cannot walk into a tattoo or piercing place without getting something done," she tells Simon Dumenco in Allure magazine. The steel in Aguilera's lip, nose and ears is plainly visible, but what about the rest of her accessories? "I'm not going to tell you where they all are, but you'll probably imagine."

Christina Aguilera


MTV in Talks to Renew

'The Osbournes'

MTV is in talks with heavy metal legend Ozzy Osbourne to bring his raucous, foul-mouthed family back for a second season of the surprise hit series "The Osbournes," the cable music network said on Thursday.

The 10-part "reality" show about the home life of former lead singer of Black Sabbath, his wife, Sharon, and their teenage kids -- Kelly and Jack -- debuted March 5 and has become a Tuesday night sensation on the Viacom Inc. -owned network.

It's Ozzy's spouse and manager, Sharon, who appears to be the real enforcer of the brood, while their sassy kids handle the electronic gadgetry for their techno-challenged parents.

MTV offered no details of renewal talks. But daughter Kelly Osbourne, 17, told syndicated TV show "Access Hollywood" in an interview airing Thursday that the family already has signed a deal to bring the show back.

She said the second season would probably be similar to the first, "but maybe (there will be) a little bit of England, so people can see our house there."

'The Osbournes'



Britney Spears

Here's the shocking photo Britney Spears doesn't want her millions of teenybopper fans to see.

It shows the blond pop tart with a cigarette in her hand as she relaxes on the balcony of her hotel room in Sydney, Australia.

For years, the curvy singer has preached to her fans about the benefits of clean living - no sex before marriage, no boozing and no smoking.

"I don't believe in drugs or even smoking. I believe in God," she told the Knoxville (Tenn.) News-Sentinel two years ago.

Britney Spears


Moose & Squirrel Information One-Stop

A New Look & Even More Information!


Ending 47-Year Career

Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller is hanging up her wigs and ending her road career as a purveyor of raucous one-liners that skewered fads, fancies, imaginary husband Fang and her own cosmetic surgery.

She's toured for years, but a troublesome engagement in Palm Beach, Fla., two months ago convinced her it was time to quit.

After the Palm Beach fiasco, she canceled whatever dates she could, fulfilled others and will do her last live stand-up at the Suncoast casino in Las Vegas this weekend.

She intends to devote most of her newfound leisure to her art and writing, but she won't be vanishing completely — at least not on television. She'll appear on "The Drew Carey Show" Wednesday as Mimi's grandmother, and she'd like to do more TV guest shots.

Phyllis Diller


Freshly Updated

The Chickenhawk Database

The Chickenhawk Database


Embarrassing E-Mail Making Rounds

'The Bachelor'

ABC is red-faced over an embarrassing e-mail exchange between "The Bachelor," Alex Michel, and his college buddy that is burning up the Internet.

The exchange quotes Michel bragging about bedding runner-up Trista, complaining that winner Amanda is "much fatter" than Trista and that ABC pressured him to pick "the underdog."

Problem is, that part of the e-mail exchange was fabricated. Jonathan Locker - a friend of Michel's Harvard pal, Jeffrey Sahrbeck - made up a response from Michel and attached it to a string of real e-mails between Michel and Sahrbeck.

But ABC says the prank is no laughing matter, and wants to assure fans of "The Bachelor" that Michel is not a kiss-and-tell cad.

'The Bachelor'

Thanks, Alex! (How was the wedding?)


At The Croatian Open

Anna Kournikova

Russian Anna Kournikova follows through on her serve during her match against Slovenia's Tina Pisnik in the second round of the Croatian Open in Bol on the Croatian Island of Brac May 2, 2002. Kournikova, one of the biggest names in women's tennis despite having never won a WTA singles title, ran out of steam after winning the opening set, losing 6-7, 6-3, 6-3.
Photo by Nikola Solic


In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends



Fans Buy Billboard

'Once and Again'

Workers put up a billboard in West Hollywood, Calif., asking the ABC network to 'Bring back the magic, Once and Again.' Photo by Nick Ut

"Once and Again" fans are taking their campaign to revive the canceled ABC drama to the street.

A billboard pleading with the network to "Bring back the magic, Once and Again," went up Thursday at a West Hollywood intersection.

The $12,350 monthly cost of the billboard was subsidized through donations collected by a fan site that Marc Levenson, a Fort Worth, Texas, businessman, helps run.

'Once and Again'

Save Once and Again


High-Tech Scavenger Hunt of Future

'Go Game'

Welcome to the go-go world of The Go Game -- a high-tech, high-energy scavenger hunt where crossing a real-life Hell's Angel can be just part of the fun.

Created by a pair of adventurous San Franciscans, the Go Game is a wild half-day chase through the city in which players complete "missions" assigned via cell phone that range from challenging a stranger to a staring contest to snapping a picture of a celebrity look-alike on the street.

The game -- which costs about $20 to play for the monthly games -- is a scavenger hunt in which teams of four to six players race through a neighborhood answering trivia questions and working together to complete as many as 20 different missions as quickly and creatively as possible.

Each team also gets a cell phone -- which acts like a computer browser that serves up Web pages to provide clues throughout the day -- as well as a digital camera with video capability needed to record some of the missions.

For more, 'Go Game'


'Angel' In, 'Max' Out

CBS Sunday Night

CBS has decided to dump this Sunday's planned episode of "The Education of Max Bickford" in favor of an episode of "Touched by an Angel" that was slated to be the series' season finale.

In addition to returning "Touched" to its longtime Sunday 8 p.m. perch, the move also puts Angela Lansbury back on Sundays. That's because the former "Murder, She Wrote" star has a guest turn on the "Touched" episode.

"Bickford" will now get just one airing in sweeps, on May 12. And while this Sunday's "Touched" episode is technically the show's season finale, original episodes will still air on Saturdays throughout the May ratings period.

CBS Sunday Night


The 'Corpse Flower'

Titan Arum

The pungent smelling Amorphophallus titanum, also known as the Titan arum, the world's largest flower, at Kew Gardens, London, May 2, 2002. The phallic flower is a native of the rainforests of Sumatra and only a few specimens have been cultivated. Photo by Dan Chung

The biggest, smelliest flower in the world was putting on the sexual performance of its life on Thursday after bursting into rare crimson blossom at London's Kew Gardens.

The 165-pound titan arum, the rotten-smelling giant of the plant kingdom, unfurled its single stinky flower after beginning a dramatic growth spurt last week," a Kew spokeswoman said.

The putrid smell, which has earned it the nickname "corpse flower" is crucial to its survival in the wild because it tells pollinating bees that the plant is in bloom. Once the bees alight on the flower, it closes in over them and keeps them trapped until they are covered in pollen. Kew head of horticulture Nigel Taylor said the blossom was the largest ever seen at the garden. The last flowering of the titan arum -- properly named Amorphophallus titanum -- attracted almost 50,000 people to Kew over one week in 1996.

Its flowering outside its native Sumatra is rare. There are only a handful of places around the world where it grows in cultivation and this is only the fifth time that one has bloomed at Kew since 1889.

Kew will chart the flower's short life on its web site, but those keen for a glimpse, or a whiff, in person must be quick. After three days, exhausted by its endeavor, the flower will begin to wilt.

Titan Arum


Rock 'N Roll, Part 2 - Deported From Cambodia

Gary Glitter

Cambodian police said on Thursday they would deport disgraced British "glam-rock" star Gary Glitter once they receive details of his past offenses, even though he has not been charged with any crime in Cambodia.

Glitter, 57, an icon of 1970s British pop scene whose song Rock and Roll Part II is ubiquitous at U.S. sporting events, whose real name is Paul Francis Gadd, was sentenced to four months in a British prison in 1999 after pleading guilty to 54 charges of child pornography.

The aging rock star, who has been living in Cambodia for several months, had his passport confiscated over the weekend by Cambodian police on grounds he had not registered his residency.

Glitter was arrested in Britain in November 1997 after a technician at a computer store discovered indecent images of young children while carrying out repairs to his computer.

Cambodia in recent years has become a magnet for foreign pedophiles, who travel to the poor Southeast Asian country to take advantage of a thriving child-sex industry, weak judiciary and lax law enforcement.

Gary Glitter


Services Held

Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes

Hundreds of admirers lined up early outside a large suburban Atlanta church Thursday to attend the funeral of singer Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, who died in a car crash a week ago.

Lopes, part of the female R&B trio TLC, died April 25 as the sport utility vehicle she was driving rolled off a highway in Honduras. She would have turned 31 this month.

The funeral, open to the public, was to begin later Thursday at New Birth Missionary Baptist Church. The church has 10,000 seats, and police estimated as many as 30,000 people would show up.

Lopes was considered the most volatile member of the Grammy-winning group. She pleaded guilty to arson in a 1994 fire that destroyed the million-dollar mansion of former Atlanta Falcons receiver Andre Rison, her boyfriend at the time.

Rison was among hundreds who attended a private memorial service for Lopes on Wednesday night in Decatur, another Atlanta suburb.

Lopes, born in Philadelphia, brought fast-paced, squeaky-voiced rhymes to the trio's work. Her nickname came from her habit of replacing one lens of her glasses with a condom during performances.

Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes



Aaron McGruder's

The Boondocks



Scheduled Yahoo! GeoCities Maintenance
Friday 5/17/02 9PM PST (GMT-7)

GeoCities will be performing scheduled maintenance starting Friday, May 17th, 2002 at 9:00 pm PST (GMT-7). Service will be restored the morning of Sunday, May 19th, 2002.


Still Seeking Volunteers

'The Osbournes'

Freshly updated.

Put up a page devoted to 'The Osbournes'

C'mon....send your thoughts, your impressions, your views, your favorite quotes...

Scroll down for lots of addys to pick from (or 'from which to pick', for the truly anal retentive).


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