Adam Tod Brown: 5 Objective Reasons Prince Is The Greatest Musician Ever (Cracked)
Prince died last week. I've been writing for Cracked since 2007, and a lot of famous musicians have died in that time. Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Lemmy Kilmister, Phife Dawg, Fred Durst -- the list goes on and on (and I might be joking about one of those). All of those artists (again, except for one) meant a lot to me as a person who appreciates music, but none of their untimely deaths inspired me to write a column. Prince is an entirely different story.
Bewitched is an American television sitcom fantasy series which was broadcast for eight seasons on ABC from September 17, 1964 to March 25, 1972. It was created by Sol Saksunder executive director Harry Ackerman, and starred Elizabeth Montgomery, Dick York (1964-1969), Agnes Moorehead, and David White. Dick Sargent replaced an ill York for the final three seasons (1969-1972). The show is about a witch who marries an ordinary mortal man, and vows to lead the life of a typical suburban housewife. Bewitched enjoyed great popularity, finishing as the number two show in America during its debut season, and becoming the longest-running supernatural-themed sitcom of the 1960s-1970s.
In 2002, Bewitched was ranked #50 on "TV Guide's 50 Greatest TV Shows of All Time". In 1997, the same magazine ranked the season 2 episode "Divided He Falls" #48 on their list of the "100 Greatest Episodes of All Time".
In the 1969 episode, "Tabitha's Weekend", when offered homemade cookies by Darrin's mother, Endora asks, "They're not by chance from an Alice B. Toklas recipe?" Phyllis replies, "They're my recipe", to which Endora retorts, "Then I'll pass". Toklas's cookbook was infamous for having a dessert recipe which included hashish.
Randall was first and correct with:
Alan J answered:
The animated credits to the original "Bewitched" with Dick York.
Roy P replied:
Bewitched. Dang I'm old!
Jim from CA, retired to ID, said:
David of Moon Valley responded:
sure looks like Darren and Samantha from Bewitched....and oooh that Elizabeth Montgomery was a real cutie in my younger days....
This appears to be the cartoon-opening of the Bewitched TV show that
we all first caught with rabbit-ears.
Ah, Bewtiched, that comedy based on friendly witchcraft and the mortals affected by such. It was cute.
Yesterday afternoon the wind blew, the thunder & lightning cracked, and we had pea-sized hail and a gullywasher of a rainstorm. I appreciate dramatic weather; in fact, there was a tornado over the local lake/reservoir about 20 miles from here. Today? Sun, blue skies, wind. Ho-hum.
Dale in Diamond Springs, Norcali, USA responded:
Bewitched…Real witches…Carly witch…Carly and Weazelfuck Ted. I can hardly think of two more awful people…oh wait…Trump/Palin…Don't ya just love the lunatic fringe?
Lois Of Oregon replied:
Oh I remember watching Bewitched and wondering WHY a beautiful super-natural woman would agree to be subjugated by a homely domineering jackass who forbids her to use her powers for the betterment of all mankind. What the hell did she SEE in him? Oh wait...
DJ Useo answered:
Thanks for the fun softball question. I actually own the BEWITCHED series on dvd.
I was watching a Japanese subtitled episode with a friend the other day, & it highlighted how fun,
& intriguing the magic vs suburbia plots often were.
I also love the cast, & the guest stars. My favorite episode was with the one with the Flintstones.
Or maybe the one with Samantha's father vs the Witches' Council.
Patriot Act NSA Spying Unconstitutional Section 215 National Security Letters Must End
My name is Marc Perkel and I have decided to announce that I will not comply with the so called "Patriot Act" laws requiring me to disclose information about my customers. If I receive a national security letter I will immediately photograph it, post it online everywhere I can, and then make a video of me burning it. I will then await my arrest. If you want to put me in jail then come get me mother fucker.
CBS begins the night with a FRESH'The Amazing Race', followed by a FRESH'Hawaii Five-0', then a FRESH'Blue Bloods'.
Scheduled on a FRESHStephen Colbert are Mark Feuerstein and Gwen Stefani.
On a RERUNJames Corden, OBE, (from 3/28/16) are Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cheadle, Jon Bernthal, and Troye Sivan.
NBC starts the night with a FRESH'Caught On Camera With Nick Cannon', followed by a FRESH'Grimm', then 'Dateline'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Fallon are Paul Rudd, Hugh Dancy, and Jack Whitehall.
On a RERUNSeth Meyers (from 4/14/16) are Gov. John Kasich (R-Gynotician), David Duchovny, Juliette Lewis, Michelle Wolf, and Fabrizio Moretti.
On a RERUNCarson 'The Scab' Daly (from 4/4/16) are Bre Blair, Larenz Tate, Michael Raymond-James, Gems, and Karyn Kusama.
ABC opens the night with a RERUN'Shark Tank', followed by a FRESH'Shark Tank', then '20/20'.
On a RERUNJimmy Kimmel (from 4/13/16) are Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle, Emily Van Camp, Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, and Mayer Hawthorne.
The CW offers a FRESH'The Vampire Diaries', followed by a FRESH'The Originals'.
Faux has a RERUN'Hell's Kitchen', followed by a FRESH'Hell's Kitchen'.
MY has 'TMZ (Not So) Live', followed by 'Hollywood Today (Not So) Live'.
AMC offers the movie 'Jurassic Park III', followed by the movie 'Ocean's Eleven', then the movie 'The Italian Job'.
[6:00AM] TOP GEAR - SEASON 13 - Episode 2
[7:00AM] TOP GEAR - SEASON 13 - Episode 3
[8:00AM] RAMSAY'S KITCHEN NIGHTMARES UK - SEASON 6 - EPISODE 3-La Granada Divino
[9:00AM] RAMSAY'S KITCHEN NIGHTMARES US - SEASON 7 - EPISODE 30-Revisited: La Galleria 33, Olde Hitching Post, Prohibition Gastropub
[10:00AM] RAMSAY'S KITCHEN NIGHTMARES US - SEASON 5 - EPISODE 10-Park's Edge
[11:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 4 - EPISODE 15-First Contact
[12:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 4 - EPISODE 16-Galaxy's Child
[1:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 4 - EPISODE 17-Night Terrors
[2:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 18-Allegiance
[3:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 19-Captain's Holiday
[4:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 20-Tin Man
[5:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 21-Hollow Pursuits
[6:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 22-The Most Toys
[7:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 23-Sarek
[8:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 24-Menage a Troi
[9:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 25-Transfigurations
[10:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 26-The Best of Both Worlds (Part 1)
[11:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 4 - EPISODE 1-The Best of Both Worlds (Part 2)
[12:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 18-Allegiance
[1:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 19-Captain's Holiday
[2:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 20-Tin Man
[3:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 21-Hollow Pursuits
[4:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 22-The Most Toys
[5:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SEASON 3 - EPISODE 23-Sarek (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has 'The People's Couch', followed by a FRESH'The People's Couch', then the movie 'Miss Congeniality'.
Comedy Central has 'Futurama', another 'Futurama', 2 hours of old 'Key & Peele', followed by the movie 'Old School'.
FX has the movie 'Jack Reacher', followed by the movie 'Thor'.
[6:00AM] MARON-Nostalgic Sex Buddy
[6:30AM] END OF WATCH
[9:00AM] MICHAEL CLAYTON
[11:45AM] GOOD WILL HUNTING
[2:30PM] END OF WATCH
[5:00PM] THE MATRIX
[8:00PM] TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES
[10:30PM] TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES
[1:00AM] THE MATRIX
[4:00AM] THE DARKEST HOUR (ALL TIMES EDT)
[7:30AM] As Good as It Gets
[10:30AM] Leaving Las Vegas
[3:00PM] Law & Order-Burned
[4:00PM] Law & Order-Ritual
[4:59PM] Law & Order-Under the Influence
[5:58PM] Law & Order-Expert
[6:57PM] Law & Order-Castoff
[7:56PM] Law & Order-Grief
[8:55PM] Law & Order-Faccia a Faccia
[9:54PM] Law & Order-Divorce
[10:53PM] Law & Order-Carrier
[11:52PM] Law & Order-Stalker
[12:51AM] Law & Order-Disappeared
[1:50AM] The Last Panthers-White Knight
[5:00AM] Love Lust-Love Lust & Sex Symbols
[5:15AM] Fast Times at Ridgemont High (ALL TIMES EDT)
SyFy has the movie 'The Mummy Returns', followed by a FRESH'Wynonna Earp'.
When Paramount and CBS ended last year with a lawsuit over a crowdfunded Star Trek fan film titled Axanar, the two studios probably had no idea that they were about to get mired in an esoteric legal debate about the protectability of the Klingon language. But that's exactly what's happened, and with the language of digital coding hanging in the background, a California federal judge's forthcoming decision could hold significance - so large, in fact, that this otherwise run-of-the-mill copyright action has now drawn an amicus brief from a language society that quotes a Klingon proverb translated as "we succeed together in a greater whole."
To review, after the Star Trek rights holders filed their complaint, the defendant production company demanded particulars of the franchise's copyrighted elements. In response, Paramount and CBS listed a lot, but what drew most attention was claimed entitlement to the Klingon language. The defendant then reached back to a 19th century Supreme Court opinion for the proposition that Klingon is not copyrightable as a useful system.
On April 11, that drew an entertaining response from the flummoxed plaintiffs.
"This argument is absurd since a language is only useful if it can be used to communicate with people, and there are no Klingons with whom to communicate," stated a plaintiffs' brief authored by David Grossman at Loeb & Loeb. "The Klingon language is wholly fictitious, original and copyrightable, and Defendants' incorporation of that language in their works will be part of the Court's eventual substantial similarity analysis. Defendants' use of the Klingon language in their works is simply further evidence of their infringement of Plaintiffs' characters, since speaking this fictitious language is an aspect of their characters."
Before U.S. District Judge R. Gary Klausner gets a chance to rule on a motion to dismiss, he's now being asked permission to review a friend-of-the-court brief from the Language Creation Society.
The comedic actor, who has already portrayed resident George W. Bush in skits and onstage, has set his sights on another Republican, President Ronald Reagan.
Ferrell is attached to star in and produce Reagan, a Black List script by Mike Rosolio, The Hollywood Reporter has confirmed. Ferrell will produce via his production banner Gary Sanchez Productions.
The logline, via the Black List, describes the story thusly: "When Ronald Reagan falls into dementia at the start of his second term, an ambitious intern is tasked with convincing the Commander-In-Chief that he is an actor playing the President in a movie."
The Black List did a live reading of the script in March and even saw James Brolin act as Reagan while John Cho played the intern. Lena Dunham and Nathan Fillion were also on the playbill.
Actor Dick Van Dyke smiles as Ed Asner sticks his tongue out to make a face for the camera at the ceremony for the unveiling of the star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for actress Barbara Bain in Los Angeles, U.S., April 28, 2016.
Photo by Mario Anzuoni
Make room, bald eagle. The House has voted to designate the bison the national mammal of the United States.
The move seeks to elevate the bison's stature to that of the bald eagle, long the nation's official bird. There has not been an official mammal of the United States.
Prior to approving the measure by voice vote Tuesday, House members spoke of the significance to the nation's history of the bison, also known as buffalo. The animals were central to many Native American cultures and were on the verge of extinction before revival efforts established herds on national refuges and parks.
The measure passed by the House must go to the Senate for final passage, expected later this week, before it can go to the president's desk.
A $1.8 million civil lawsuit filed by a victim of former U.S. House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Pedophile), convicted of a financial crime linked to sexual abuse of high school wrestlers decades ago, can proceed, an Illinois judge ruled on Thursday.
Hastert, 74, once one of the country's most powerful and vindictive politicians, was sentenced on Wednesday to 15 months in federal prison. During the sentencing hearing, Hastert acknowledged sexually abusing boys when he was a teacher and coach in his hometown of Yorkville, Illinois.
The victim, identified as James Doe, filed the civil lawsuit in Kendall County Circuit Court in northeastern Illinois, claiming Hastert owes him the unpaid portion of a $3.5 million deal they verbally agreed to in 2008 to compensate him for decades of pain and suffering.
Judge Robert Pilmer ruled at a hearing that Doe is to file within seven days a complaint under seal using his legal name, but that he can proceed under a fictitious name until further ordered by the court.
Also on Wednesday, Hastert was stripped of his teacher's pension, ending his $16,622-a-year annuity built up from his 16 years of teaching. Since 1997, Hastert has received $237,045 in teacher pension payments.
Producer/Actor Keegan-Michael Key, Keanu and Writer/Producer/Actor Jordan Peele seen at New Line Cinema Los Angeles Premiere of "Keanu" at ArcLight Cinerama Dome Theater on Wednesday, April 27, 2016.
Photo by Dan Steinberg
Comedian and actor Katt Williams was arrested after he threw a salt shaker at a restaurant manager, police in an Atlanta suburb said Thursday.
Officers responded to a call of a fight at Spondivits restaurant just south of Atlanta a little after 10 p.m. Wednesday, East Point police Capt. Cliff Chandler said. The restaurant manager had a bloody cut on his lip, and he and other witnesses told officers it was Williams who injured him, Chandler said.
Some members of Williams' family had entered the restaurant and seated themselves, and an argument broke out when restaurant staff told them the seats were reserved for another party, Chandler said. When Williams arrived, the argument escalated and Williams threw a salt shaker at the restaurant manager, Chandler said.
Williams had left the restaurant by the time officers arrived, but they found him at a nearby Waffle House restaurant, Chandler said. After interviewing Williams, officers arrested him and charged him with battery.
Facebook said Thursday it had received 13 percent more government requests for user data in the second half of 2015, with more than 46,000 requests worldwide.
The leading social network, in its twice-annual "transparency report," said the number of items "restricted" for violating local laws more than doubled compared to the prior six-month period, to 55,827.
The details come as the technology industry is embroiled in debate on how governments should gain access to user data, and how the requests should be disclosed to users and the public. Facebook and other tech firms have emphasized that they only turn over user data when served with legitimate legal orders such as warrants or subpoenas.
The United States accounted for the largest number of law enforcement queries, with 19,235 queries affecting 30,041 accounts. Facebook said it produced at least some data in 81 percent of those cases.
Other countries making large numbers of queries included India (5,561), Britain (4,190), Germany (3,140) and France (2,711).
Women would be required to register for the military draft under a House committee's bill that comes just months after the Defense Department lifted all gender-based restrictions on front-line combat units.
A divided Armed Services Committee backed the provision in a sweeping defense policy bill that the full House will consider next month, touching off a provocative debate about the role of women in the military. The panel also turned aside a measure backed by Democrats to punish the Citadel military college in South Carolina for flying the Confederate flag.
The United States has not had a military draft since 1973 in the Vietnam War era, but all men must register with the Selective Service Systems within 30 days of turning 18. Military leaders maintain that the all-volunteer force is working and the nation is not returning to the draft.
The 32-30 vote Wednesday night came with a twist: The proposal's author didn't back it.
Rep. Duncan Hunter, a former Marine who served three combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, does not support drafting women into combat and opposes opening infantry and special operations positions to women. Hunter, R-Calif., said he offered the measure during the committee's consideration of the policy bill to prompt a discussion about how the Pentagon's decision in December to rescind gender restrictions on military service failed to consider whether the exclusion on drafting women also should be lifted.
Tennessee's Republican governor on Wednesday signed a law allowing mental health counselors to refuse service to patients on "sincerely held principles," the latest in a string of U.S. state measures criticized as discriminatory against the gay community.
Governor Bill Haslam (R-Hand Puppet) signed the bill into law three weeks after it was approved by the legislature. It goes into effect immediately.
An earlier version of the bill had allowed counselors to refuse service to patients on religious grounds, but it was amended to remove any direct reference to religion.
The law protects therapists and counselors from legal action when they cite their personal principles in refusing service, despite a provision in the American Counseling Association's code of ethics barring members from such denials of service.
"This measure is rooted in the dangerous misconception that religion can be used as a free pass to discriminate," Hedy Weinberg, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Tennessee, said in a statement.
Ivory statues stand in front of one of around a dozen pyres of ivory, in Nairobi National Park, Kenya, April 28, 2016. The Kenya Wildlife Service (KWS) has stacked 105 tons of ivory consisting of 16,000 tusks, and 1 ton of rhino horn, from stockpiles around the country, in preparation for it to be torched on Saturday to encourage global efforts to help stop the poaching of elephants and rhinos.
Photo by Ben Curtis
Humanoid Diving Robot OceanOne, with a humanoid torso and a mermaid-like tail section, studded with thrusters and sensors to keep the mer-bot swimming is seen during its presentation at the History Museum in Marseille, France, April 28, 2016. The OceanOne team wants their robotic coworker to eventually find work in disaster relief, ship repair, oil and gas drilling, and other oceanographic research aside from exploring shipwrecks.
Photo by Jean-Paul Pelissier
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