Special Bonus
Disinfotainment Today
'Best of TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Book One
'Solid'
"Eight to twelve billion years after the inception of the universe, a thirty year old male Secretary working for Raisin Hell! (world's sole supplier of artificially sweetened raisin substitutes) discovers his diametric opposition to that of his corporate host.
'The Secretaries' Manifesto' is born, and the spark of revolution ignites."
Made Me Laugh
Research
A recent study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry
has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds
attractive can differ depending on where she is in her
menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is ovulating she
is attracted to men with rugged and masculine
features. However, if she is menstruating, or
menopausal, she is more prone to be attracted to a man
with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up
his ass while he is on fire.
Thanks, Larry-By-The-Sea (AKA: 'The-Poker-King')
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny & warmer.
My niece arrives on Sunday, and I have jury duty next week. Timing is everything?
Thought I was doing good by packing a slice of the kid's favorite pizza for lunch, but it was still in his lunchbox after school today. When I asked why, he said
he found it impossible to eat while every other kid is chirping 'wanna trade?' at him.
Tonight, Friday, CBS begins the night with a FRESH 'Joan Of Arcadia', followed by a FRESH
'J.A.G.', then a FRESH 'The Handler'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave is Charlie Hill.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers is The Fire Theft.
NBC opens the night with 'Dateline', followed by a FRESH 'Ed' (starts 1 minute before the top of the hour), then a FRESH
'Third Watch'.
On a RERUN Jay (from 11/17/03), are Britney Spears and Jim Belushi.
On a RERUN Conan (from 10/10/03), are Gwyneth Paltrow, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Howie Day.
On a RERUN Carson Daly (from 12/19/03), are Nick Cannon, Darrell Hammond, Stephen Lynch, Jeff Ross, Kelis, and Hurry-Up Offense.
ABC starts the night with a FRESH 'George Lopez', followed by a FRESH 'Married To The Kellys', then a FRESH
'Hope & Faith', followed by a FRESH 'Bonnie', then '20/20'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are James Caan and Jeremy Piven, with this week's guest co-host Dane Cook.
The WB offers a FRESH 'Reba', followed by a FRESH 'What I Like About You', then a FRESH 'Grounded For Life',
followed by a FRESH 'Like Family'.
Faux has 'Totally Outrageous Behavior Video Moments', followed by 'World's Craziest Videos Outtakes', then a FRESH 'Boston Pubic'.
UPN has the movie 'Phantoms'.
Check local PBS listings for 'NOW With Bill Moyers'.
A&E has 'American Justice', 'Poirot', and another 'Poirot'.
AMC offers the movie 'From Russia With Love', followed by the movie 'Goldfinger', then the movie 'Halloween 5'.
BBC -
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Ogden White;
[7pm] 'House Invaders - Leicester';
[7:30pm] 'The Meaning of Life';
[10pm] 'At Home With The Braithwaites' - Episode 7;
[11pm] 'So Graham Norton' - Susan Sarandon/Goldie Hawn;
[11:30pm] 'The Meaning of Life';
[2am] 'At Home With The Braithwaites' - Episode 7;
[3am] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - You're No Fun Any More;
[3:40am] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - Full Frontal Nudity;
[4:20am] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - The Ant, An Introduction;
[5am] 'At Home With The Braithwaites' - Episode 7;
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EST)
Bravo has 'Inside The Actors Studio' (Cate Blanchett), 'Celebrity Poker' (Game 2), another 'Celebrity Poker' (Game 3), and still another 'Celebrity Poker' (Game 4).
Comedy Central has 'MAD TV', 'Tough Crowd Stands Up', 'Premium Blend', and another 'Premium Blend'.
History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Dead Men's Secrets', 'F117 Nighthawk Stealth', 'Modern Marvels', and 'Sex In World War II'.
SciFi has 'Tremors: The Series', another 'Tremor: The Series', the Season Premiere of 'Stargate SG-1', then the Season Premiere of 'Code Name: Eternity'.
TCM:
[6am] 'The Great Lie' (1941);
[8am] 'None but the Lonely Heart' (1944);
[10am] 'Of Human Bondage' (1946);
[12pm] 'A Streetcar Named Desire' (1951);
[2:30pm] 'The Bad and the Beautiful' (1952);
[4:30pm] 'Marty' (1955);
[6pm] 'Picnic' (1955);
[8pm] 'The Gallant Hours' (1959);
[10pm] 'Ride The Pink Horse' (1947);
[12am] 'Lady In The Lake' (1946);
[2am] 'Wages of Fear' (1953) AKA: 'Le Salaire de la peur' ;
[4:30am] 'Top Banana' (1954). (ALL TIMES EST)
Actor Steve Buscemi, left, who plays Tony Blundetto on the HBO series 'The Sopranos,' answers a question as fellow actors from left, James Gandolfini, who plays Tony Soprano, Michael Imperioli, who plays Christopher Moltisanti, and Drea DeMatteo, who plays Adrea LaCerva, look on, during the Television Critics Association's Press Tour, Thursday, Jan. 8, 2004, in Los Angeles. The new season begins March 7.
Photo by Mark J. Terrill
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Top Money-Making Star of 2003
Jim Carrey
Jim Carrey tops the list in a poll of the Top Ten Money-Making Stars of 2003 by Quigley Publishing Co., which conducts an annual survey of motion picture exhibitors.
Nicole Kidman finished second, followed by Jack Nicholson, Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, Johnny Depp, Russell Crowe, Tom Hanks, Will Ferrell and Renee Zellweger.
Exhibitors also were asked to name the Stars of Tomorrow for 2003 — one actor and one actress who they feel will be top moneymakers in the years to come. The 2003 winners are Ashton Kutcher and Scarlett Johansson.
Jim Carrey
www.quigleypublishing.com
Venezuelans Mob Actor
Danny Glover
Actor Danny Glover was applauded by residents of a Caracas slum on Thursday as he toured social programs promoted by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
Glover, 56, is on an eight-day visit to explore race relations in Venezuela.
Of U.S. policy toward Venezuela, he said Thursday: "It is not a positive one."
Danny Glover
Work on Voting Drive
Hip-Hop Artists
The Hip-Hop Summit Action Network, founded by mogul Russell Simmons, announced its "One Mind. One Vote." partnership with syndicated radio personality Doug Banks at a news conference Wednesday. The new radio campaign will launch Jan. 19 in Times Square.
The nonpartisan network hopes to register 2 million voters in 2004 and 20 million over the next five years by reaching out to young hip-hop fans and holding registration drives at concerts and other events.
Simmons' brother Joseph, better known as the Rev. Run of Run DMC, is lending his celebrity to the cause.
Hip-Hop Artists
www.hsan.org
Thanks, Tim H!
Protesters hold up a banner against U.S. President George W. Bush as his motorcade speeds by, enroute to a 2004 election fundraiser in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, January 8, 2004. Bush returned to one of the most heavily-contested counties in the 2000 Presidential election, where dozens of demonstrators gathered to claim that he had stolen the presidency after thousands of votes were considered uncountable.
Photo by Jason Reed
Grant for Public-Affairs Channel
PBS
PBS said Thursday it had received a grant to plan a new cable network for public affairs programming, which it hopes to start early in 2005.
Tentatively called PBS Public Square, it will mostly air reruns of PBS programs such as "NewsHour with Jim Lehrer," "NOW with Bill Moyers" and talk shows with Charlie Rose and Tavis Smiley.
PBS already operates two offshoots seen on satellite systems or digital cable: PBS Kids offers children's programming and the lesser-seen PBS You provides adult education programs.
PBS
Sets Thursday Shows
Sci Fi
The Sci Fi Channel will launch a new night of original programming on Thursdays, network officials said Wednesday.
Beginning March 4, a two-hour block will sandwich returning series "Scare Tactics" between the rookie reality program "Mad Mad House" and new cartoon "Tripping the Rift." Sci Fi currently uses Friday as its exclusive outpost for original series, anchored by the veteran show "Stargate SG-1."
Sci Fi also revealed it will begin production in New Zealand on "Earthsea," a four-hour miniseries based on the Ursula K. Le Guin novels of the same name. It is scheduled to air in December.
Sci Fi
UPDATED FOR 2004!
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Tops 2003 Home Video Rentals
'Bourne Identity'
"The Bourne Identity," an espionage thriller starring Matt Damon as a CIA assassin on the run with amnesia, was the top-renting U.S. home video of 2003, according to year-end figures issued on Thursday.
Combined revenues from DVD and VHS rentals of "Bourne Identity," released on video last January, totaled nearly $79.2 million for the year, said Rentrack Corp., which tracks point-of-retail data for the industry.
Close behind at No. 2 for the year was the Leonardo DiCaprio con-artist caper "Catch Me If You Can," which was released on video in May 2003 and generated rental revenues of $75.5 million, Rentrack said.
"Signs," the crop circle mystery starring Mel Gibson, ranked third with rentals totaling more than $74.9 million since its video release in January 2003.
Rounding out the top-renting videos of 2003 were: "Sweet Home Alabama" ($74.8 million), "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" ($74.2 million), "The Ring" ($68.9 million), "How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days" ($66.2 million), "Bringing Down the House" ($64.2 million), "Maid in Manhattan" ($62.3 million) and "Two Weeks Notice" ($62.1 million).
'Bourne Identity'
Robert Nam castout his fishing line for some popio fish shortly before sunrise along the shores of Kailua Beach, Hawaii, on the island of Oahu, January 8, 2004. The Hawaiian state board of health reopened the beach Thursday after a recent sewage spill contaminated the waters earlier in the week.
Photo by Lucy Pemoni
Nine for Sale in U.S.
Faberge Imperial Eggs
The world's largest private collection of fabled Faberge Imperial Easter Eggs will be sold by the Forbes publishing family this spring as part of a rare Faberge collection valued at up to $120 million.
"The sale of any one of these eggs would be an event. The sale of nine is unprecedented," David Redden, vice chairman of Sotheby's, said on Thursday.
Faberge Imperial Eggs
Joins Broadway's 'Aida'
Micky Dolenz
Micky Dolenz studied architecture in college and was fully prepared for a life planning buildings — not rock 'n' roll immortality — even though he was auditioning for television shows between classes.
"I figured if architecture didn't work out, I could fall back on show biz," he says with a laugh. "That was Plan B: acting and singing."
Plan A, though, quickly faded when he nailed an audition in 1966 to join "The Monkees," a TV comedy based on the antics of a rock group modeled after the Beatles. Dolenz could see the blueprints on the wall.
Dolenz, 58, joins co-stars Michelle T. Williams of Destiny's Child, Will Chase and Lisa Brescia in the Broadway version of "Aida," the Tony-winning musical with music by Elton John and lyrics by Tim Rice.
For a lot more, Micky Dolenz
Set Tour
Funk Brothers
Former Motown house band members the Funk Brothers have corralled several guest artists to join them on their upcoming North American and European tours.
Peabo Bryson and Phoebe Snow will be on hand for North American gigs beginning Jan. 17 outside Philadelphia, while Steve Winwood and Isaac Hayes will join in beginning Jan. 29 in Manchester, England.
The group is still riding the success of the 2002 documentary "Standing in the Shadows of Motown," which spotlighted its often uncredited contributions to countless Motown hits. The CD of the same name yielded two Grammy Awards last year.
For tour dates & locations, Funk Brothers
Backstreet Boy Helps Nab Thief In Vegas
A.J. McLean
Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean helped chase down a jewel thief at the Hard Rock Hotel parking lot in Las Vegas on Monday (January 5) evening, according to the Las Vegas Sun. The paper reports that the singer was trying on watches in Rocks, the hotel's jewelry store, when a man walked in and asked to try on several bracelets and rings. Without warning the man, who was wearing a $40,000 diamond-encrusted ring, suddenly made a run for the exit. Vegas club personality Marklen Kennedy, a friend of McLean's, told the paper, "The girl at the counter screamed that she could not leave the store, so A.J. just shot out of there like a rocket." The Backstreet Boy and a hotel security guard on a bicycle chased the man down and recovered the stolen property.
McLean was reportedly in town to make an appearance at this week's Adult Entertainment Expo convention.
A.J. McLean
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Entertaining Troops in Iraq
Tom Green
Actor and talk-show host Tom Green is in Iraq to entertain U.S. troops.
"He's hanging out, shaking hands, making people laugh. Trying to give them a light moment in a very stressful place," publicist Ann Gurrola said Wednesday.
Green is expected to return from Iraq in mid- to late January, she said. This is the second United Service Organizations tour for Green, who went to Kosovo last year.
Tom Green
British entrepreneur and reserve pilot Richard Branson (L) and pilot Steve Fossett (R) of the U.S. attend the unveiling of the Virgin Atlantic GlobalFlyer aircraft in the Mojave Desert, California, January 8, 2004. It will be piloted by record breaking aviator and sailor, Steve Fossett, who will fly the plane later in the year in a world record attempt to complete the first solo non-stop, non-refuelled, global circumnavigation.
Photo by Toby Melville
Jury Rules Trademark Infringed
Frank Sinatra
A Los Angeles jury has ruled that the Frank Sinatra trademark was infringed by an unauthorized tribute show featuring an impersonator, Sinatra family lawyers said on Thursday.
The show, which played briefly in Atlantic City in 2001 and in Las Vegas in 2002, was called "Sinatra: The Main Event" and was billed in ads and posters as an unauthorized biography of the celebrated singer, who died in 1998.
But lawyers for the Sinatra family argued that the words "unauthorized" were in such small print that the public would be confused. Sinatra had also used "Sinatra: The Main Event" as the title of a television program and of audio and video recordings during his life.
Frank Sinatra
Children Build Burial Mound
Keiko
Hundreds of schoolchildren in western Norway bid farewell to Keiko the killer whale Thursday by building a burial mound of stones over the Hollywood star's grave.
The six-ton hero of the "Free Willy" movies died Dec. 12, likely from pneumonia, in remote Taknes Bay, where he had lived after swimming to Norway from Iceland in 2002.
The children, most from village schools in Halsa on Norway's west coast, placed stone after stone atop the grave to create a burial mound, or cairn, a tradition that dates back to pre-Christian times in Norway.
Keiko
Plans Gay Cruise
Rosie O' Donnell
Comedienne and former talk-show host Rosie O'Donnell on Thursday announced plans for what is billed as "the first gay cruise with family values."
"We welcome all families -- however you define them -- to join us on this cruise," O'Donnell said in a statement.
Rosie O' Donnell
DVD Spotlights First U.S. Visit
Beatles
A Beatles DVD, featuring footage shot by filmmakers Albert and David Maysles during the Fab Four's first visit to the United States, will be released next month, coinciding with the 40th anniversary of the trip.
"The Beatles First U.S. Visit" will be released Feb. 3 in the U.S. on Apple Corps/EMI, and Feb. 9 internationally.
The Maysles brothers, who would later go on to make such films as "Gimme Shelter" and "Salesman," had all-areas access to the Beatles as their plane touched down in New York Feb. 7, 1964, and during the ensuing two-week tour of the country.
Beatles
Turns 75
Tintin
Forever young, the beloved European cartoon character Tintin turns 75 on Saturday, without a hint of gray and the same youthful bounce in his step.
Tintin — whose adventures as a cub reporter take him around the world — has become an icon in Belgium, where the perception is the French tried to usurp him.
Reflecting his appeal in both countries, two papers in Belgium will be fully illustrated with Tintin cartoons on Friday and in France, Le Figaro is to publish a special 114-page paper with 250 illustrations.
Tintin first appeared in the Brussels Le XXme Siecle newspaper on Jan. 10, 1929.
For the rest, Tintin
See Bumpy Year Ahead
Yoruba Priests
2004 will be a year of aviation and shipping disasters, climate upheaval and political strife in the world, Cuba's Yoruba high priests predicted on Tuesday, warning that sacrifices would be needed to ward off evil omens.
The year will see the death or downfall of major religious and political leaders, they augured, without naming names.
The priests recommended sacrifices of pregnant goats and white chickens, and offerings of milk and meringue to the reigning deity Obatala.
Yoruba Priests
Apartment Encased
Aluminum Foil
What kind of friends coat your apartment — and nearly everything in it — with tinfoil while you're away? Here's a hint: One of the only objects that escaped the shiny treatment was a book titled "Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends."
Chris Kirk found his downtown Olympia apartment encased in aluminum foil when he returned home Monday night from a trip to Los Angeles.
The walls, ceiling, cabinets and everything in between shimmered, after the prank orchestrated by Kirk's longtime friend, Luke Trerice, 26, who was staying in the apartment while Kirk was away.
Trerice, who lives in Las Vegas, and a small group of friends draped the apartment with about 4,000 square feet of aluminum foil, which cost about $100.
For more, Aluminum Foil
In Memory
Paul Keyes
Paul W. Keyes, an award-winning television comedy writer and producer for shows including "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In," died Jan. 2 of natural causes. He was 79.
Keyes, who died in Woodland Hills, won three Emmy Awards and was nominated for 10 during his long career that began in radio. He wrote and produced for "The Dean Martin Show" and later for presentations of the Emmys, the Grammy Awards and the People's Choice Awards.
Born in Dorchester, Mass., Keyes became interested in writing while serving in World War II. After starting out in radio production for the Yankee Network and Hearst Radio, he moved to television, and by 1955 was a writer for NBC.
In 1957, Keyes became head writer for "The Jack Paar Show," which he later produced.
Keyes won an Emmy in 1968 for his writing on "Laugh-In," another in 1969 for producing the show, and another in 1974 for producing "The American Film Institute Salute to James Cagney." He earned a Golden Globe Award and in 1994 was inducted to the Producers Guild of America Hall of Fame.
He is survived by two brothers and a sister.
Paul Keyes
A chimpanzee dressed as the mythical 'Monkey King' performs at a safari park in Guangzhou, the capital of China's southern province of Guangdong, January 6, 2004. Zoos across China began celebrations for the Chinese New Year of the Monkey, which falls on January 22, by putting up more shows performed by monkeys. Photo taken January 6.
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'The Osbournes'
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